Bowfinger Page #3

the camera, it breaks his concentration.

- When do we start?

- We start tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.

What is it?

I wish you could see what I see.

What do you see, Boss?

The most promising group of young

professionals I've ever worked with.

- Hey, Cliff.

- 'Morning, Dave.

- Good camera.

- Yeah.

It goes back each night or it's a felony.

- Years you'd get.

- You'd get. Daisy, come on.

What if Daisy said, "It's a tough world"

instead of "rough world"?

That's good. Got that briefcase?

She'd bring his briefcase

if she was worried?

The briefcase is a metaphor

for the relationship.

Shouldn't I be in this scene?

I could be lurking behind a bush.

Okay, this is it. Places, everyone.

Roll! Speed! Marker!

Remember, don't let him see the camera.

Action.

Come on, Daisy, go.

Back to Daisy.

Keith, you forgot your briefcase!

Keith, you forgot... You're upset!

One slip-up in your tough,

crime-filled world and you could die.

Keith! Keith!

- Your name Keith?

- No, I'm Jimmy.

But thanks for asking.

And, cut!

We got our first shot.

Here it comes.

Come on. Work, baby, work.

Keith, you forgot your briefcase.

You forgot... You're upset.

One slip-up in your tough,

crime-filled world and you could die.

It worked. It looked like Daisy

came out of the house.

This movie's gonna work!

- Dave, did you wash my car?

- Workin' on it.

One scene down.

- Yeah?

- Bowfinger, here's what I got.

Kit and his agent will be

at the Rodeo Grille tomorrow at 12:45 p.m.

Are we gonna be there?

Better believe it. You're a genius.

Can you see over there?

- What do you see? Can you see Kit?

- Yeah.

Am I trying for you or not trying?

You're trying,

but I want at least the same...

I know I ain't gonna be treated like

Mighty Whitey in this town.

I put in 25 years in the theater

before coming to Hollywood.

We're almost ready.

I still don't see why I can't meet the man

I'm going to be working with.

He wants to impress you with his acting,

and he needs his total concentration.

- That's just young!

- I know.

I wish once I could work with someone

who had honed their craft.

- But right now we need that scene.

- You'll get your scene.

He may not be a professional, but I am.

Carol.

White boys get all the Oscars. It's a fact.

- We know that, but...

- Did I get a nomination?

No. 'Cause I ain't played none

of them slave roles.

That's when you get nominated.

Black dude plays a slave role,

gets nominated.

White boy plays an idiot, gets the Oscar.

Find me a script as a retarded slave,

then I get the Oscar.

I'm gonna schmooze. I'll be right back.

Go find that script.

Buck, the Wonder Slave.

Here we go.

Sound.

Lights!

Roll it.

When you left Phoenix, it wasn't

because you wanted to raise soybeans.

You had to get away. Why?

Was it because you wanted me

and it burned inside of you?

- I beg your pardon?

- Come back to Phoenix.

Stop this madness. Let me in on whatever

mission this is that you're doing.

- Do you know who I am?

- Of course.

You're Keith Kincaid.

You've come down from Wyoming...

...with your damn UFOs.

You bastard! Bastard!

- Because you prefer alien love!

- Alien love?

- Why did you say "alien love"?

- I must get my umbrella.

You triggered the voices.

Freddy!

Take me to Terry Stricter! Now!

We got it.

Strange people are coming

to me on the street...

...and they're speaking in Jupiterian

or Venutian or something.

Strangers come up to you,

and you don't understand them.

- What is that?

- Maybe they're fans.

- Crazy fans.

- They speak to me...

...only they speak in a secret

white language that I can't decode.

It's horrifying!

What do these crazy people

who speak to you and make no sense say?

They talk about things I never heard of,

about people I don't know.

Somebody named Keith.

And aliens, sex and umbrellas.

I see.

Kit?

Do you think you can keep it together?

Yes, I can keep it together.

I'm K-l-T, Kit. I'm keeping it together now.

Keep it together. I'm keeping it together.

- Don't I look together?

- Have you heard any more voices?

No.

Every now and then I hear a voice.

I haven't heard voices.

What did this one voice say?

"As I stand here before you today...

"...the Laker Girls' cheerleading squad...

"...needs to be taken down a peg or two."

You know, last night was really special.

It was. I've never done it

lying down before.

- You know, next time...

- Yeah?

Next time, I think I'd like to do it

with just two condoms.

If I was in the movie more, yeah.

If I was in the movie more,

we'd be equals, and I'd trust you more.

- We have lots of scenes together.

- I love our scenes.

Our scenes are the best,

but I should have more scenes with Kit.

If I had more scenes with Kit,

then that would really pump up our scenes.

Afrim would be in charge of that.

He's the screenwriter.

- So the writer's in charge of that?

- Yeah.

- Boss, I've got those pages.

- What pages?

The new pages.

I think if Daisy had more scenes with Kit...

...it would pump up the scenes with Slater.

So I wrote more scenes for Daisy and Kit,

some hot scenes...

...where there's heat and chemistry.

- I don't think we need...

- I think you will see...

...these new hot scenes, the ones

in which Daisy exposes her breasts...

...will increase sales in Thailand.

Daisy agreed to this?

That is the case,

although I haven't talked to her.

- Baby.

- Hi.

Hello.

"A vixen in stretch pants.

"What man wouldn't want a hot virgin?"

You'll do this?

If I have to. If it's for the movie,

and you really want me to.

If it's artistic and says something

about reality...

If it's in character and for the scene...

Right, right.

Bowfinger International Pictures.

How may I direct your call? What?

I tracked Kit to MindHead.

He could be coming down any time.

All right, all right.

Kit feels he's ready to shoot

the parking lot scene.

I just love the way this guy works.

Keep it together. Keep it together.

Keep it together.

And, cut!

- Did you get that?

- Nice.

- What'd you see?

- Fear. Mostly fear.

- Some insane looks.

- You saw insane looks?

Betsy, you were such a good girl.

Let's get Carol out of her trailer,

shoot the other side of this masterpiece.

- He's brilliant.

- He is.

His fear is so real.

It's like it's actually happening.

- We work really well together.

- That's what he was saying.

Bastard!

Darling.

Darling, I respect Kit's way of working.

The no rehearsal, no contact off screen.

But it's so traditional to actually meet

the person you're working with.

No, you should not meet Kit because

we're not doing anything traditional here.

We're working in a new style.

We're working in cinema nouveau.

Cinema nouveau.

It felt so good today to quit my job.

I told them, "I'm a screenwriter now."

They said,

"You have eight brothers and four sisters.

"How will you earn your money?"

I said, "This is more important.

"Bowfinger has given me a chance,

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