Boy Meets Girl Page #3

Please?

Oh, my God.

Silly me!

You have a YouTube channel!

So how many subscribers?

Eleven hundred.

Get out!

You are famous!

Hardly.

Daily Grace has a few million.

See now, all you need

is one celebrity

to wear one of your designs,

and you'll have

a couple million in no time.

Well,

I'll leave you ladies to it.

Oh, I-I'm-I'm sorry.

I-I didn't mean

to chase you off.

Oh, no, he has his

man-whoring to do anyway.

The sun's down.

I was actually havin' fun

hangin' out with you but,

uh, you know, whatever.

Oh, I can leave.

It's no problem.

Robby, I'm gonna kill you.

Tell her you're kiddin'.

All right, I'm-I'm just givin'

you a hard time, Francesca.

I gotta go anyway.

- Yes, he's sure!

- Yes, I'm positive.

You ladies have fun.

I'll talk to you later.

Keep it real, Shortcake.

- Later, Riley.

Mm-hmm.

So, what do you do?

On your channel?

Well, um, here.

Sam?

Good to go.

Hey, everybody,

it's Ricky again,

and I have a very special guest.

This is my fabulous

new friend Francesca Duval.

Say hi to all your new fans.

- Hi!

So, Francesca's wearin' an

adorable little summer outfit.

It's not too slutty, I mean,

sexy, and not too prim.

Just right.

So, those are

Diesel Skinny jeans?

Oh, uh, mm-hmm.

And, uh, looks like you're

rockin' your own patriotic look

with a fabulous

graphic tank from,

I wanna say, Free People?

Right again!

And the hottest wedges.

Sam, the cameraman, can you

please pan down to show those?

What are they?

I wanna say, are they Guess?

Good guess!

Fabulous! The whole thing,

very, very put together.

Now, for those of my viewers

who can't afford to spend

five hundred dollars

on a casual

Sunday out-with-the-girls,

Sam, cover your ears,

"Not even tryin'

to get laid," outfit.

Uh, how do you know

I'm not tryin' to get laid?

Can I uncover my ears now?

No!

I'm just kiddin'.

I'm, uh,

I'm savin' myself, of course,

for my darlin' fianc

who is in Afghanistan.

Really?

How virtuous.

See, gents, old-fashioned

girls do still exist,

and they can be fun and sexy,

and you shouldn't

judge a book by its cover.

I mean, unless you're

just interested in the cover,

which, in my case,

is perfectly all right.

Okay, I'm just kidding.

No hos in the house tonight.

Now?

Yes, baby, it's fine now.

Where was I?

Oh, right, okay.

So for those of you

more on a budget,

I've thrown together

this little bit of a mutt.

It's a mix of spring and summer

because it's still

a little chilly at night.

I made this

geometric patterned dress

I paired with

a skinny black belt,

lace tights,

and my black flats

and for a little added warmth,

I have this black cardigan.

It's a jumble of stuff, but

I feel like it works, right?

Oh, totally!

Yeah, you don't wanna

go out with too little

and suddenly

be caught with a chill.

Comfortability before vanity.

I don't think so.

Oh, no.

Look, I would walk

a mile in six-inch stilettos

that turn my feet into bloody

stumps if they were Manolos.

Truth.

All right, tune in next week

for my latest outfit.

Let's give a big round of

applause for my fabulous guest,

Francesca Duval.

Thank you.

I had a blast.

And for my always handsome

and dapper cameraman, Sam.

Stay sexy, freaks.

- Oh, that was so much fun!

- So much fun.

Time for bed, Little Man.

Dad!

It's early!

Bed!

Go brush your teeth.

I'll tuck you in.

Good night, Sam.

Bye.

God, he's so cute.

I'm gonna

go to the bathroom now.

- Yeah, sure.

- Okay.

- Hey!

- Hey.

Everything okay?

Oh! Yeah.

Just false alarm.

I'm so sorry about the whole,

uh, tampon thing earlier.

You know, you're just,

you're so much like a -

You are so fine. No, really,

I mean it's not even the

first time that it's happened.

My own doctor

gets mixed up about it,

and he's had

my junk in his hands.

I'll go in for my

medication and he'll be like,

"So we're giving you

testosterone, right?"

And I'll be like, "No, estrogen?

I'm tryin' to be a girl here?"

What bathroom do you go in?

Well, now I use

the women's room.

But back when

I was eight and nine,

and it was like the boys

against the girls...

The boys would go to one side,

the girls would go to the other,

and I'd be stuck in the middle

and end up on the sideline

with the kid on crutches.

I changed out in the boys'

locker room though,

until my breasts started growin'

in when I was like fifteen,

and then the school

just kinda gave me

an excused

permanent pass from gym.

They just figured it

would be easier that way.

Well, how cool were you?

A lifetime,

"Get Outta Gym," card.

Stop.

How old's your brother?

He's eight.

Our mom died

when he was one, so

I've kinda been

the only girl in his life.

More of a mom

than a sister, really.

How'd your mom die?

Cancer.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

- Is your family supportive?

- Yeah.

My dad actually

bought me my first Barbies

when he realized when not

havin' an interest in football

wasn't gonna be fixed by just

replacing it with baseball.

So I-I guess that means you've

never been with a girl, right?

Mm-mm.

Hmm.

Not even once, by accident?

No, I-I can't say

I've ever accidentally

tripped and fell

while sportin' a boner

and landed in a woman's vagina.

Oh, my God.

I can be clumsy,

but I'm not that bad.

I, um, I did almost

kiss a girl once, though.

On a dare,

I seem to remember.

But I chickened out.

Well, I've never

kissed a girl either, so,

I guess we're even.

Look, I don't- I don't

wanna be a bad influence.

I respect

the sanctity of marriage.

Engagement.

That too.

And I don't wanna

have any regrets.

I wanna live out loud,

like you do.

It comes with

a pretty big price tag.

Not as big a price

tag as the alternative.

I'm sorry.

Francesca, wait!

Francesca, wait!

I brushed my teeth.

Are you gonna tuck me in?

Yeah, pumpkin.

Head upstairs.

I'm glad

you have a new friend.

Me, too.

Now get some sleep.

It's okay that I like

to play with toy soldiers

and play football, right?

What, honey?

I'm not weird

because I'm a boy

and I like to have my marine

guys rescue your Barbie dolls

and not the other way around?

We girls always

have to do the rescuing,

regardless of how it looks,

but that's a lesson

for another day.

Listen...

you are perfect in every way,

sweet boy.

You're normal, and there

is nothing wrong with you, okay?

However and whatever toys

you wanna play with is fine.

You're supposed to do

what makes you happy, okay?

What would make me happy

is if a certain little man

was asleep right now.

Love you, Dad.

Love you.

What?

You didn't get that from me,

is all.

Yes, I did.

Come on.

It'll come tomorrow.

All right.

Ham and cheese, coffee black.

Just make sure he eats it.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

So, Francesca

kissed me last night.

She's much deeper than

she appears at first blush.

And she's got a big heart.

I like that.

What do you mean she kissed you?

Where? When?

In my room,

after we made the video.

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