Boy Meets Girl Page #4

I don't know,

it just kinda happened.

Wha- and-and what- what

happened after you kissed?

She ran away.

It was adorable.

You know, you really shouldn't

mess around with her.

I mean, she has a fianc.

Marines are nuts.

They kill people for fun.

I ain't scared of him.

And anyway,

I'm not a home wrecker.

It was just one innocent kiss.

I'm sure it won't happen again.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Come on!

It's not my thing.

You know that.

But a little

healthy exploration,

I mean, that's what your

early twenties are for, right?

But, um, just in case

it should happen again,

maybe if one thing

leads to another...

Yeah?

What's it like?

I mean, like, okay,

so what would you, um,

what-what would I- Well,

what's one supposed to do?

Oh! Oh, Jesus.

Oh, here we go.

Robby, come on, I have no one

else to talk to about this.

Okay, uh, what do you-

what do you wanna know?

Okay, so,

you know the, um, the-

Dick?

- On a genetic girl!

- Oh, the va-jay-jay.

Oh, my God, you do not

watch the Kardashians.

Has my coming out to girls

really inspired you, baby?

Please.

Only gay boys

watch those girl shows.

Oh, yeah,

'cuz what straight guy

would wanna watch

hot sisters and best friends

mess around

with each other half naked

and then makin'

full-on porn tapes?

That is- that is so gay.

Anyway, I hear it's very,

um, it's very complicated.

You know, the vaj,

with all its various fluids

flowing at different times.

There's- there's the period,

the wetness during sex, so,

okay, so like, I mean,

does it start out wet?

Or-or do I have to get it wet?

Well, wait, does she get it-

wait- how does it get wet?

Are you f***in'

retarded right now?

It's not easy for me

to talk about these things.

Just tell me.

Okay, well...

I mean you start makin' out,

you know,

like you would with a guy.

Okay, well you-you know how-

how you get, like, aroused...

Right.

She will, too.

And that'll make her wet?

Right.

Okay.

Is it tight like an a**hole -

Okay! Okay!

Google time.

No, no, no, confused gay chat

rooms or something, seriously!

Don't be a baby about it,

just tell me!

No.

No, it probably won't be

as tight as a... No.

Really?

And how would you know?

I just know, okay?

All right, look,

can we- come on,

I-I gotta

get back to work.

- Where were we?

- Tightness.

Right.

No, it-it-it-it won't- it

won't be as tight as...

but it will be...

...very, um, warm,

and, uh, like, gushy.

But, like, in the most

amazing possible,

you know, warm, gushy way.

I can't believe

I'm havin' this conversation.

Look, just try it, okay?

Just-just-just get in there

and-and let nature take over.

the other part of you

has millions of years of DNA

slammin' down on you,

instinctively lettin' you know

how and where to stick it

and-and what the f***

to do with it,

and afterwards, you'll

make your own assessment.

Okay, okay.

I gotta be done with this

conversation, really,

that's all

I'm gonna say about it.

Okay, thank you.

I'd just like to enjoy the last

part of my break in peace.

Hey, really, Robby,

no, thank you so much.

I really do appreciate

your help. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Does it really smell like fish?

'Cuz I don't think

I'd be able to handle that.

Look, I'm not sayin'

it does or anythin',

but how am I supposed to know?

She smells really good!

It was somethin'

I liked about her.

Who smelled really good?

Hey.

Were you talkin' about me?

Yeah, but, you know,

he's my best friend.

He won't-

he won't tell a soul. I -

No, it's okay.

I trust you.

You dropped this.

Oh.

I'm, uh,

I'm sorry about last night.

Runnin' away like, that

was so childish of me.

I guess I was just

a little bit caught off guard.

It's totally fine.

I was, too.

So... my daddy's havin' another

one of his parties and, um,

I was hopin' that you might

be able to help me find a dress?

Okay.

Okay.

You smelled really good, too.

Yeah, see,

I have all these dresses.

This is one of the biggest

problems livin' in a small town.

One of the biggest problems?

It doesn't even

crack my top ten.

I like livin' in a small town.

It makes me feel safe.

It makes me feel claustrophobic.

I can't wait to get outta here.

Really?

Are you kidding?

I was born in the wrong body

and the wrong town.

There really

are no dresses here.

Come on.

- Whe-where are we goin'?

- Target.

Um, yeah, I-I'm the least snobby

seemingly snobby person I know,

Oh, my God, I would never have

you wear a dress from there.

Thank you.

But I would

have you wear a dress

that I make out

of a tablecloth from there.

Hmm.

I hate that I'm so short.

I wish I was tall like you.

What are you talkin' about?

You're like the perfect height.

And besides,

boys like girls who

are shorter than them anyway.

You're gonna rock this outfit.

Well, we don't

dress cute for boys.

Who cares

if they like the outfit?

Yes,

but we do undress for them.

And we care what

they think then, right?

Are you a virgin, too?

Yeah.

I mean, with girls.

Look,

I shouldn't be the one to...

It's okay, I want to.

I don't think it's right.

No, it's okay.

Really.

It's not okay by me. Look,

you're a virgin.

You're about to be married.

Your husband

should be the one to...

I lied.

What? You...

I lied.

On your show.

I mean I've lied

to everyone about it.

There was this one time

when I was fifteen

and drunk

at boardin' school, so

it's not like the specialness

of the first time

on my wedding night will be,

uh, all that special.

I mean not

for that reason, anyway.

But your fianc thinks...

Yeah.

And I'm okay with that.

Look, every girl

has their secrets.

I don't wanna

be a mood killer or anything,

but we should probably

be responsible, have the talk.

Oh!

Yeah, um, well it was just

that- it was just that one time,

and-and he used a condom.

You?

- Yeah, just once.

He used a condom.

Okay.

I'm not on the pill.

Nothing comes out anymore.

Really?

I-I mean does it,

does it feel good?

Yeah.

Just nothing, um,

so you can't get pregnant.

- Mm.

- Yeah.

So you can't have babies?

Not from my... no.

Do you wanna have babies?

Absolutely.

Someday.

You're so sweet.

You're so soft.

Just like... like...

A girl?

Yeah.

And it's so hard,

just like a...

A boy?

Yeah.

Do you need to get that?

Uh, no.

I kissed a girl and I liked it.

You did a little more

than just kiss me.

Hmm.

Everything okay?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Was it, um...

was it fun?

As fun as when

you were with a boy?

It was different.

Very different. But,

but still very nice.

And you?

It was kind of unbelievable,

to tell you the truth.

Good.

I'm curious,

I mean does this-

does this make me gay?

I don't think so.

Bi-curious?

I don't know.

Well, it has

to make me somethin'.

Human?

It makes her

a lot more than just human.

Oh, really?

Well, uh,

what are the definitions

since you seem

to be so clear of what

Francesca is and isn't?

Straight's a penis

going into a vagina.

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