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Bro, What Happened? Page #3
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2014
- 86 min
- 58 Views
have to kick your f***ing ass.
Do you have to?
Yeah, I have to.
Here's the thing.
If you let one fatty
freshman f*** with you
the sh*t's gonna
go on all year.
It's a matter of principle,
man.
Dude, I'm not really fat.
Yeah, and my dick
isn't 2 inches long.
Thanks God.
So you see, dude,
it's out of my hands, bro.
Hey, hey, hey, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.
Yeah, these two limp d*cks
are my friends.
They're cool, right.
Sh*t, fellas, why didn't you
say you're with her?
I told you
we're with Jamie, bro.
Dude, who the f*** is Jamie?
Oh.
You two try not to get
your asses kicked.
Cherry, come with me.
Bye, boys.
But, Cherry, I need
to be watching you.
You got 1000 bucks to make me wait? No.
Then see you inside, suckers.
Yo, you two aren't
going anywhere.
No freshman, boys.
Hey, King Kong cock.
What about that girl?
Dude, the lady show
their titties, man.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hong Kong.
Dude, a clown?
Dude, it's a party.
Who doesn't like clowns?
Dude, the world's
most interesting man, really?
Dude,
that's the school principal.
Dean.
I don't give a sh*t
what his name is.
Whoa, step back.
Get the f*** back.
Dude, you let those guys in?
Dude, that's the
gay mafia, dude.
The gay f***ing mafia.
Oh, you got that stuff?
Oh, damn, oh, dude,
I got something for you.
Yeah?
Te-tee.
Oh, shizites.
Well, I'll tell you
what, you're in,
but your boyfriend
stays outside.
What?
Come on, dude.
Yeah.
Dude, Eskimo brothers.
Oh, dude, you guys
had sex with Jamie?
Yeah, dude, that's makes
us Eskimo brothers.
You know, guys that had sex
with the same girl, dude.
Eskimo brothers are even
tighter than frat bros, man.
You're good.
Oh, Eskimo.
Get in, man, get in.
Oh, oh, oh.
Dude, dude, you didn't tell me
you had sex with Jamie.
Oh, I didn't, bro.
But you just told everyone
that you did.
Yeah, it's called
saving your ass.
Right, but no one's gonna
think that you actually
had sex with Jamie.
Oh, you mean,
people are gonna think
I've had more sex
than I've actually have.
But, dude, now these people
that you slept with
her and, you know,
she might find out and feel...
Dude, talk to me
after you've actually finger
banged a girl, right?
We're at the
best party of the year
and I've only got
two things to do.
One, take care of Cherry.
Two, make sure we get laid.
Oh, my God,
I see titties. Later.
Here, let me fill that for you.
What?
Unbelievable.
Um...
It's okay, I don't bite.
Hi, I'm Phil.
Loosen up, Phil.
Sorry.
Oh, God,
A nervous freshman
who probably doesn't know
anybody here.
Yeah, actually.
Let me be the first
to officially welcome you
Well, thank you.
You know, I...
I didn't really think
there'd be anyone
so cool to talk to.
Hey, do either one of you want
for really cheap?
Either one of you,
white elephant tusk.
No, nothing?
White elephant tusk.
Hey, would you maybe,
I don't know,
want to head into the kitchen
and talk for a little bit?
Bro, what are you still
doing here?
It's like boob fest
3000 out there
and I lost Cherry.
If I don't find her, I'm
gonna get sh*t on and raped.
Sh*t raped, man.
Dude, I'm kind of right
in the middle of talking
to Polly here.
Dude, I need you now.
Okay, 5 minutes,
in the kitchen?
I'll be waiting.
Dude, that was Polly
f***ing Wallace.
I'm not saying that just
to emphasize a point.
Her nickname is f***ing.
Polly f***ing Wallace, bro.
You're getting laid tonight.
Well, what are you
talking about, man?
I'm not trying
to get laid here.
That's what you think, dude.
She's a sure thing. Watch.
Bro, dude,
I just have one question.
Who here
is in my Eskimo network?
Who's had sex
with Polly Wallace?
Yeah, I did.
Absolutely.
Dude,
even the Dean's rocked it.
You're getting laid.
Dude, seriously,
all we're doing is talking.
No way, bro, she's cock crazy.
She gonna get you drunk
and ride you like a rodeo,
brother.
Whoo!
Now we go to go find Cherry.
Uh, but before
that I am going to stick
my penis in that
Phil, Cal, what's up, guys?
Hey, what's up, Hensen?
F*** off, Hensen.
We can't be seen with you here.
You're a funny guy.
See you later.
Dude, that was for the best.
F***ing Hensen is a loser, bro.
When chicks see him
they get dry.
Now come on, go f***ing
drain your nuts.
Dude, for the last time,
I'm not gonna f*** Polly.
You need to f*** Polly Wallace.
Go do some talking
with your dick,
don't be a fag.
What did you say?
Yeah, what did you say?
Yeah, what did you say?
Uh, I was just talking
to my buddy Phil here,
ot you ga... guys.
You think it's okay to say fag?
You better not have been
talking to me.
Look, he didn't mean
anything by it.
What exactly did he mean?
Yeah, what did he mean?
It's just a term of endearment.
Like when black people
call each other the "N" word
And just what "N" word
would that be?
Oh, yes, say it.
I think he's saying
that they're gay.
Yes.
We're gay.
We're gay, gay, gay, gay.
You're gay, honey?
You don't look gay.
I've been gay since '98.
Yeah, trust me, he's gay.
He's, like... like
my girlfriend and I'm the,
you know, like, the
boyfriend. Tweet-tweet.
Really?
Uh-huh.
Then kiss him.
What? Well, yeah, kiss him, kiss him.
Yeah, do that.
What?
F***, no way.
Look, we... we don't do
that in public, you know.
I just had garlic, man.
Yeah.
Kiss him!
Kiss him!
Okay, yeah.
Oh, isn't that sweet?
Works for me.
Oh!
I told you faggots,
you made a cute couple.
I love homosexuals.
Dude, that was
really scary, man.
You put your tongue
in my mouth, dude.
Dude, what the hell
was I supposed to do?
It was the gay mafia.
It had to look realistic.
You'll clean my life out.
Hey.
Hey.
I've been waiting for you.
You okay?
Yeah, no, I'm fine.
It's just I think
I pounded that last drink
a little bit too quickly.
something in me right now, actually.
Oh, my God. I would love to get
a little something in me, too.
You know what sounds
really, really good?
Um, what's that?
Bacon.
I love bacon.
After that everything
pretty much went black.
I mean, that's all
I really remember.
Yeah, that's mostly right,
but I remember it
more like this.
No, dude, I'm gonna
stop you right there
'cause that is not
how sh*t went down.
Fine. Dude, I remember
as much as you remember.
I mean, someone slipped
something in our drinks
or some sh*t.
Well, dude, we got
to figure it out, all right,
because Beth's gonna be
here any minute
and I need to know if I slept
with Polly or not.
We know what happened, dude.
You laid the lumber.
I don't think so, man.
We got dosed, man.
I don't even know
where Cherry is.
from getting sh*t raped
and murdered by Mr. Tom.
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"Bro, What Happened?" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bro,_what_happened_4711>.
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