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Bro, What Happened? Page #4
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2014
- 86 min
- 58 Views
I just... I need to know
what happened last night
for sure.
Oh, I get it, dude.
You don't want to
give her the syphilo,
the syphilitis.
No.
Yo, Cal!
Yo, Eskimo.
Uh, yo.
Yo.
Hey, I heard you needed
some help, man.
She's got like
a pornographic memory.
Photographic memory
and there's no such thing.
See, pretty and smart, huh.
Yeah, she is hot.
Hey, have you guys seen a phone? No.
Jesus, what happened
to your shoulder?
Look, don't worry about
my shoulder, George.
Okay, here's the f***ing scoop.
Phil, his girlfriend's coming.
He woke up naked with
no clothes in bed with Polly
f***ing Wallace.
Dude, you need a shot.
How is your dick?
A little bit of itching,
a little burning?
Can I see it?
No.
No, ma'am.
I don't feel comfortable
discussing my penis
with someone I just met.
I told you, bro,
you don't need an expert.
You're already
scratch-a-thon.
Dude, I don't need to scratch.
It's just 'cause you keep
putting that in my head.
Let's just get back to
what happened, all right.
Do you have any idea?
Oh, man, I don't remember much
because I was pretty trashed,
but here's what I remember.
It was me at the door
and wall to wall b*tches,
every single one of them.
I love you, Beef.
Well, a lot of ladies do.
Just go ahead and wait
inside and stand in line
with the rest of them.
I'd wait all night if I had to.
I'm sure you would.
You sexy beast.
Yo, you two can't come in.
Oh.
Sorry, these two ass
monkeys are with me.
Hey, who is that hottie?
Oh, thanks, handsome.
Bye, boys.
But I thought she was...
What?
You thought she was with you?
Well, you know, once,
like, a long time ago.
No, dude, it just means that
you're in my Eskimo network,
you know, two guys
that are banging
the same girl, man.
It's all good.
Yeah, dude.
Whoo!
Glenn.
Glenn.
He tastes like beef jerky.
I do.
Glenn.
What?
Wait, I love you.
I love you.
Okay.
Glenn, come here, man.
Hmm?
Bye.
Who's that?
I don't know who that was.
Oh, man. Well, dude, you
up for a game of assketball?
You know it, brosef.
Hells yeah. Hey, Derek. Yo.
Come watch the door,
man, I'll be back in ten.
Oh, yeah.
P*ssy central.
You're cute.
And you're just the
right amount of drunk.
Hey, Glenn,
give those M&Ms, man.
Hey, I got this for you.
What?
Just drink it.
I bet Meester here
can chug the whole thing
in under 5 seconds.
Don't make me pay him.
Chug it, Beef.
Oh, wow.
Hope you got
that for your stupid movie.
I did.
Oh, my God.
You have such amazing eyes.
My tits are down here, a**hole.
Mother...
Hey, babe, it's me.
So I got the wedding
colors picked out already.
I think I'm gonna pick lavender
and white because,
you know, those are
my favorite colors.
Let me know what you think.
Bye.
Hey, man, what's up, Beef?
Hey, give us
some of that candy, man.
I can't, man, I got to use it
for something.
Use it?
What the f***?
Hey, man, share some
of that candy.
Dude, this isn't
Casablanca babes,
Stop bogartin' the goddamn
candy and pass it out, man.
Hey, you want to get high?
Hell, man, there's a priest
molesting little boys,
hell yeah!
Hey, give them some candy.
Yeah, candy.
You know about stereotypes?
You know how that black guys
only like that white chicks?
What if black guys don't
really like fat white chicks
but they like frozen
Snickers bars,
That sh*t is racist, man.
Hey, man, you're f***ing
racist, mother f***er.
Hey, Jamal, what did
you get on your SATs?
I don't know, man,
barbeque sauce.
Oh, there she is.
F*** you a**hole face.
And I want my abortion
money tonight.
Yeah, a**hole face.
Yo, man, I never
went inside her, man.
I went in her eyes.
She probably didn't see
that coming.
What happened?
Hey, man, who listens
to music in a party, dude?
Hey, man, give me more candy.
I can't, man, I need it
for something, man.
Come on, Glenn,
let's get out of here
and get that little pudwacker.
Thanks for the weed, guys.
All right stereotypical
white dude.
Hold on, man, hold on, hold on.
All jokes aside, man,
where the f*** is our bong?
Oh, sh*t,
where is our bong, man?
It disappeared.
Do you guys want
to buy this bong for $50?
Oh, yeah, yeah,
we'll buy it, ma'am.
Awesome.
I got $60 right here.
Good.
Thank you.
Can I get my change please?
I don't do change.
I'm so sorry.
It's just like our old one.
Oh, my God, Tiffany.
My name is not Tiffany.
It's Cherry, you b*tch.
Oh!
Look at your face.
Die, dog, die.
I think it's broken.
Hey, Phil, it's me again.
So I was thinking
we should go out
to a really
nice restaurant tomorrow
and I think
it'll be really cool
if you propose to me again
in front of everyone.
Doesn't that sound awesome?
Okay, call me back, babe.
that I should get my penis
reduction sooner,
rather than later.
Yeah.
What's your name?
Pilar.
Pilar, I'm Cal.
Hi.
Guess what?
out of these wet clothes.
You know what,
I bet your dad was a thief
because he stole
the stars in the skies
and put them in your eyes.
My daddy was shot
from a jewelry store,
you a**hole.
What the...
Is everyone okay up there?
Yeah, but you shot a dog.
Oh, it's not my first.
Is it still alive?
Yeah, it's still moving.
How about now?
Yeah, that did it, it's dead.
Just put the bottle down, man.
Hey, why don't we go do a tarot
reading. I'll charge you, but...
Do you know how degrading
it is to come to a party
where you're hired as a clown
and find your ex girlfriend
here with someone?
You cheated
on me multiple times
with the moms
from your birthday party gigs.
You back off, man.
Oh, my God.
My hero.
I am gonna take such
good care of you. Rawr!
Now somebody get that
clown the hell out of here.
So that was weird.
I thought it was
pretty cool what he did.
Well, I mean, I totally
could have kicked that
clown's ass, but, you know,
Phil had the sitch
under control.
Mm.
waiting for me upstairs,
let's go.
Oh, hell yeah.
I really want
to screw that guy.
Me too.
Okay, well,
your lifeline is very short,
but there's nothing I can
really do about that, all right?
Do you have
any other questions?
Um, what about my love life?
Your love life?
Okay.
Well, I hate to tell you this,
but your boyfriend
is f***ing everybody.
Everybody, he fucks
everything with vagina.
I know.
It's terrible.
Are you kidding me?
He's supposed to be
at bible study.
Bible study? No.
He is not at bible study.
No, no. You know what
I would do if I were you?
I would find the ugliest,
most repulsive
looking person at this party
and screw him.
Thank you.
I will.
Is this marijuana
you're smoking?
Is this marijuana, you're...
yes.
Why?
I'm not comfortable with you
Okay, come here.
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