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Bro, What Happened? Page #5
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2014
- 86 min
- 58 Views
Closer.
Say please.
Please.
All right, why don't
we all move on
to the Ouija board?
Okay?
This is not
what I was expecting.
Oh! Ooh.
Rusty coke pipes,
that means it's time to switch
to heroin everybody.
Take over.
I'm gonna go find a bathroom.
Jamie, hi.
Hello, Jamie.
So Cherry's got you guys
playing with the dark hearts,
huh?
We're gonna Ouija.
Actually I have a question.
Um, will I have sex
with Elaine?
Yes, I will.
You did that, totally.
No, no, that wasn't me.
Um, here let me try again.
Will I have sex with Marilyn?
Yes, I will.
You did that.
No, I swear it wasn't me.
Will I have sex with Jamie?
No.
Will I have a threesome
with Elaine and Marilyn?
Yes, I will.
Wow.
Oh, my God, I think
You guys know that
you have to do, no matter
you have to do it.
It's like a thing, like a law.
It's true.
Oh, my God, really?
Yeah.
I guess we have to do it then.
Sounds like
we should get a room.
Mm.
Let's go.
All right, I'm gonna
find us a room.
Sex, sex, sex, sex,
sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
Do you know,
he is the only one
whom he gets to play.
Well, I'll show him.
Yes!
Oh, I can't believe
this is actually happening.
No, it sure is, Peter!
It's Cal.
Ow.
Oh!
This isn't working.
Move over.
Yes.
Get up you fat phone!
I can pull your pants off.
Oh, sh*t.
Red alert! Red alert!
Oh, sh*t. I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Let me get a condom and a
towel, we'll try over again.
Oh, f***.
Please give me a condom.
There's a drunk chick in there.
I'm going to testify
that she was sober.
Dude, I don't use condoms, man.
Go, go check the bathroom.
Okay, okay.
Uh, I will find us
a room, let's go.
Oh, this so works.
Hold on.
Oh, bro.
Ladies, hold on.
Dude.
Hey, what the f***? I
was taking a sh*t, man.
Come on.
Who shits with the door open?
Okay, ladies, hold on, hold on.
Oh, my God I swear
I will find us a room.
I will.
Please I need you you in there
like f***ing stat.
Oh, wait.
Come on, get in here.
What?
Where?
What?
Oh, dude, thanks for
sharing, man. Sharing?
Don't you know
who the f*** this is?
This is Mr. Tom's wife.
Oh, f***, dude.
I don't want anything to do
with this sh*t, man.
It's too late, bro.
I'm supposed to be
watching her.
Mr. Tom's gonna be
here any minute.
If she dies, I die
and then bonus,
I get sh*t raped.
Oh, f*** you, dude.
You keep this b*tch alive.
If I see Mr. Tom
I'll distract him.
Fake ass Eskimo brother.
F***.
Oh, man.
Goddamn it.
Mr. B is on move.
What?
Later with that.
Oh, my God, you're Mr. Belding
from Saved by the Bell.
Well, actually
my name is Dennis Haskins
but I did play
Mr. Belding.
Yeah, I know, I know.
You're like my hero.
I got this.
I need some advice.
Okay, shoot.
All right.
and inside the bathroom
is a drug dealer's wife.
Mr. Tom's wife
is in there.
She may have overdosed
and she may be dead.
What do I do?
You got a beeper?
No.
Rotary dial phone?
No.
VCR, VHS,
maybe a floppy disk,
eight track.
Zack phone, pencil, paper clip.
Help me out here.
No, this isn't the '90s, bro.
I don't have any of that stuff.
Well, looks like
you're in quite a predicament
and I'm not gonna be
able to help you.
But, you know what though?
I suggest
that you drink this really fast
and then pass out.
Yeah.
Uh.
Thanks, Mr. Belding...
I mean, Dennis.
And...
that's all I remember.
Dude,
Mr. Belding was not there.
No, Mr. Belding,
no Zack Morris,
o Jessy Spano, bro.
Dude, that's all
I remember, man,
except waking up
next to this angel.
You know,
I prefer Tinkerbell, baby.
All right, guys, listen.
Me, Polly, no memory.
Girlfriend coming to town.
Can we please
just stay on track?
Hey-ho,
pick up your phone
Oh.
Dude, Brah Man.
What's up, dude?
Hey, dude, I'm here
with Cal and Phil, man.
You remember Mexican Jonah Hill
and Neil Patrick Harris?
No, dude, he looks like
walking HIV, dude.
I was thinking, man...
Man, he's either in the movie
Philadelphia
or we need to go
you know.
Yeah, dude, you remember me,
right, Brah Man.
I'm the one you
kept calling Chia Pet.
Wait, no, you're the one that
looks like a gigantic frijole
with an afro bro, right?
Well, that's me.
Holy f***ing sh*t.
Oh, man, I totally
remember those guys, man.
We were at the party,
dude and it's like...
it was a complete tit fest,
dude, and we were getting high...
And these extreme
astrophysical effects
can lead to short
bursts of fusion
and that's my first lesson
in fusion science.
Oh, my God.
You are the smartest man ever.
Thank you.
And the sexiest.
Yeah, I am.
Hey, you're my greatest
customer ever. I never do this.
But here's a rebate check
for $20,000
and I also want to give you
these beautiful ladies.
Oh, my God.
Brah Man, you're the coolest man
in our solar system.
Yeah, Brah Man,
you're beautiful inside and out.
I sure am.
Yes, um,
that's all I remember, man.
Dude, that is not
how anything happened.
Are you f***ing kidding me?
This guy probably
can't even drive straight.
F*** you, man,
I'm not an idiot.
I'm Asian, dude.
I'm smarter than you, man.
F*** you and your f***ing
lumber cut Beatle's haircut.
Hey, man, f*** you, you walking
I know Yakuza, bro.
Oh, sh*t.
Mother f***er, f***.
Talk to me like that...
Well, it sounds like
you're f***ed.
Or at least
you were last night.
Get thee to a healer
before the burning starts, man.
Jamie.
Meester, cute outfit.
Oh, scribble dibble.
You guys see a video camera?
I can't find it.
No, I haven't seen it
but have you seen a phone
by chance?
You sh*t stains, I told you
to stay out of trouble.
One party and you need
your momma to come here
and wipe your asses?
Me-me-me!
Jamie, just please
tell us what happened.
Okay.
I'll tell you what happened.
First your daddy
forgot to pull out.
Then he dropped
in your f***ing head
a couple of times.
And then he forgot to teach you
how to man up and drink a beer.
And now I have to come here
and clean up this entire mess.
So Phil's girlfriend
will leave everyone
on campus the f*** alone.
Oh, Beth, is she here?
Apparently, she's already
torn up the entire dorms
looking for you.
Now I'm f***ed.
F***ed.
What's the problem?
Well, according
to Beef over there,
Phil stuck his dick
Beef?
Beef?
Needledick the bug f***er
was completely f***ing
trash last night.
Hey, so were you.
I was with Meester all night
and we were only half trashed.
So together we can totally
piece together the real deal.
It's true.
So, Helen Keller.
Need a braille book?
What the f*** happened?
Yeah!
This is how sh*t went down.
I showed up at the party
looking insanely gorgeous.
I mean, seriously amazing.
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"Bro, What Happened?" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bro,_what_happened_4711>.
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