Bro, What Happened? Page #6

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Jamie, Jamie.

You two pricks wait here

for one second.

Did you get the stuff?

Yeah, sure.

Not that, you f***,

with the money.

Oh. Yeah, yeah,

sure thing, yeah.

Oh, we're with Jamie, bro.

Pricks.

I'll be right back.

Okay, see you inside.

Okay.

Beef, they're my friends.

Oh, Jamie,

these guys are with you?

I didn't know that.

Of course, they're welcome.

Of course, they're welcome.

You're the best.

Aww. You guys try not to get

your asses kicked, just try.

I thought you knew

we were with Jamie.

Ow!

Jamie.

Hey.

Be sure that door is locked.

If somebody walks in,

the price doubles.

Okay.

Locked.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Ladies and gentlemen...

who am I kidding?

The only people watching

this are frat guys.

All right, let's get it moving,

Seacrest.

You've seen the rest,

now check out the best.

The most insane thing

you've ever seen in your life.

Okay, are you ready,

we're rolling?

Yeah, we're rolling.

All right, perfect.

Bring me a beer.

All right.

Meester.

Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Holy sh*t, I had no idea.

I just thought

you wanted more beer.

Oh, give me a hug,

girl, this is amazing.

Hold on a sec, cowboy,

o hugging till the talent

gets her pants on.

Oh, you know I'm gay, right?

Yeah, I just didn't want you

to get all perioded on.

All right.

Oh, my there's some of

your junk in the cup.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Let's go a two-fer

on the YouTube delights

for tonight.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Come on.

Okay, so let's see who

we can get to drink the menses?

Who the f*** calls it menses?

It's called...

Oh, sh*t.

There he is.

I'm gonna teach this jizz-bucket

to tell people he f***ed me.

What?

Hey, I got you this.

What?

I was playing beer pong

and I won

and I wanted you to drink it.

I wasn't even in the game.

I told you he'd be too chicken

sh*t just to drink one beer.

Show you.

Oh, oh-ho, this shot.

Wet balls in the face.

Yeah, well, you got

that for your stupid video.

Oh, we did.

It so worked.

Oh, my God,

I just cut this girl's hair off.

Nobody's phone?

It's a pretty crazy night, huh?

Yeah, right.

Um, I should probably, like,

go find Cherry

before she shoots somebody

or something crazy like that.

I've known Cherry a long time.

She'll be okay.

You know, I want

to tell you something.

This is like

the coolest night of my life.

No, you're actually

a pretty cool guy

when you're not running around

trying impress everybody.

Or make everybody

think you're a stud.

Oh, my God.

Come here, you have to see this. Okay.

Phew!

Phil, every single time

you don't pick up the phone

that's another year that

you're waiting to have sex.

Are you prepared

to wait that long?

Because it's been

about 20 calls now.

Better call me back,

sweet cheeks.

Ugh!

Please have sex with me.

Um, have you seen us?

Yeah, we wouldn't let you

videotape us making out.

Okay, what about...

what about...

Let me just see one nipple.

Can I suck your elbow

skin with my eyes closed?

It'll feel the same.

Okay, can I feel your foot?

Um, yeah, sure.

Oh!

Oh...

Yo, anybody know

a b*tch named Beth?

Philip, what the f***?

Pick up your phone right now.

I'm so goddamn angry.

Oh!

Jamie.

Don't forget

to pull out there, buddy.

Yeah!

Hey, look out!

Jamie.

Hello, Cheeba.

Jamie.

Cheeba.

Jamie.

Where's Mr. Tom?

I'm right here, Cheeba.

Look what I found

which is a f***ing crossbow.

Mr. Tom, oh, sh*t.

Cal, my friend.

Where's my wife?

She's dead... tired.

She's fine, man.

She was talking about

how much she loves you.

You guys are like

the best couple.

You're a good man.

How are you, Cheeba?

I'm good, man.

I see you still got monkey boy.

I do.

Hi, Cheeba.

You didn't teach him English?

Who has time

to teach English, right?

You got my stuff?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

You got my money?

Yes. I'd like to see

the stuff first.

Eh.

I want to see the money.

Where the f*** am I?

Tom...

Ah!

I'm dead for a minute

and now I'm alive.

Hey, Cheeba,

why you pointing a gun at Tom?

No, bad boy.

Cherry, back off.

I will f***ing kill you.

Yeah, Mr. Cheeba.

Mr. Tom is my friend.

Put it down or else...

Or else what?

Shoot me with a bow and arrow?

It's a compound crossbow.

I got this, Cal.

No, just put down

the crossbow, Cal,

the arrow's just gonna

piss him off even more.

Drop that gun, Cheeba.

Yeah, Miss Cal's one of us.

He's gay?

I almost had sex with him.

Cal is gay? All right, back

up, everybody, right now!

Put it down, Cheeba!

I'm in love with her.

You're in love with me?

Oh, my God, that is

so f***ing sweet, baby.

He's bisexual?

Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up!

Put it down or I will shot you.

I'll sh*t rape your body, dude.

On the count of three.

Ooh, sh*t rape.

One!

I got this, Cal.

I got this.

Two.

No, no, no, nobody

sh*t raping anybody.

Three.

Come on.

Come on, are we good?

Are you kidding me?

Sh*t rape, really?

I know. What the f***...

Get over here.

Oh, God.

I'm glad you didn't shoot me.

I know.

Me too, right?

And f***ing Dean.

Hey, bro.

I left you

at the Statue of Liberty, man.

How did you get down here?

I used a balloon.

Did you? I f***ing love you, b*tch.

F***ing love you too, b*tch.

Hey, are we good?

Yeah, we're good.

This,

it's filled with appletini.

Hey, you guys,

who here wants to be my fan?

You want to go make out sometime? Sure.

Then Cal, you tried to kiss me

and then you passed out.

So I made sure

you weren't bleeding

and then I went home.

I can't believe it.

I'm just so embarrassed.

Oh.

This sh*t is wrong.

You made me drink your period.

Scribble dibble.

No, not scribble dibble, man.

What the f***

is scribble dibble?

Did anyone see my dog?

Oh, no, bro.

It's weird.

And then I went home to google,

to see if there was a way

that you could live

with an arrow in your shoulder

or if we had to put you down.

Well, what did you

find out, doctor?

Well, I found out

that all I have to do

is take it nice

and hard and rip it out.

Ow!

Oh, God.

That smarts.

That was like some American

Indian type sh*t. Oh...

That was like

one with the earth, like...

You f***ing made me

drink your menses.

Seriously, what is

with the all this menses talk?

Is this like a 1950s

paper doll sex ed class?

And, honestly, Beef,

you deserve it.

That's what you get

for telling everybody

that we f***ed.

Okay, so somebody

Scooby-doo me.

Who the hell

fricking juiced us?

It was Cherry.

She said she doesn't

like to be baby-sat.

Listen, guys, we're getting off

point here, all right.

We've figured out everything

except for whether or not

I slept with Polly.

So what... what are you...

what are you worried about?

I don't know how to find out

whether or not

I actually slept

with her, okay.

And I need to figure it out

before my girlfriend,

soon-to-be fianc

gets here.

You couldn't...

Why don't you just ask her?

Uh, uh, I don't know.

That's weird. You

can't just do that, Bob.

You want me to ask her?

No, no, no, thank you, man.

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