Bruno Page #3

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Is he in heaven?

And if so, is he in the VIP section there?

He says he's in a place

with green trees and flowers.

Can I ask him if he has any advice for me?

He says there's some sort of thing that you

will set up, like a foundation or something,

where there will be other people involved

that will benefit.

Okay, that's a great idea, 'cause if I do that,

then I'll definitely become world famous.

Absolutely.

There's something that he could do

that could make me incredibly happy.

-Can I kiss him now?

-Of course.

Well, good luck with your life.

Thanks to Milli,

ich could now see clearly

despite having an eyeful of Schpunken.

Charity was a great way to become famous.

Also, Brno just needed to find

the hottest world tragedy to fix.

I want a charity that doesn't involve

too much effort,

but is gonna really make a difference,

you know, really put me into the A-list.

Is there something that you, like,

that you believe in?

Well, I'm really into issues.

Yeah. Global warming's only getting worse.

-So...

-Great.

Now, I think that would be...

That's something to get involved now,

so, we can just help ease the...

Like, after us, in order to help for our future.

In order for everyone... It's just

a beneficial thing to be involved with now.

I'm really into doing something

maybe for Africa.

-Okay.

-Is that still cool or...

Saving some kind of extinct animal.

What's going extinct right now?

-I don't know, like elephants or something.

-And then make bracelets?

That's so bad. Never mind.

I was gonna say make bracelets out of a...

Make bracelets out of the extinct animal?

That's not gonna really work though,

because you need the...

You can't take from the extinct animal.

What's the coolest type of charity

to get into at the moment?

Save Dafar?

-Save what?

-Save Dafar.

-Save Dafar, yeah.

-Angelina Jolie.

Is that in, like, Iraqi or something like that?

Yeah, that's in the... It's in... Yeah.

Yeah.

Is there anywhere in the world

that no celebrity has tried to fix?

Darfur is the big one now.

-Yeah, no, it is.

-What's the new one? What's Dar-five?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Ich was going to become famous

by solving a world problem.

But which one?

Clooney's got Darfur.

Sting's got the Amazon,

and Bono's got AIDS.

Luckily, there was still one shithole

left to fix,

the Middle-earth.

Mein Plan was to get both sides to sign

a peace deal in front of the world's press,

making Brno ber famous.

Hi, I love your hat. It's great.

Hey, great. Is that Marc Jacobs?

Lutz! Lutz! Start the car!

Lutz!

Why are you so anti-hummus?

I mean, isn't pita bread the real enemy?

You're confusing Hamas

with hummus, I believe.

-Hummus has nothing to do with Hamas.

-Do you think

there is a relation

between Hamas and hummus?

So was the founder of Hamas a chef?

He had created the food

and then got lots of followers.

Hummus has nothing to do with Hamas.

It's a food. Okay? We eat it. They eat it.

It's vegetarian. It's healthy. It's beans.

Well, do you both agree on that?

We both agree that hummus is very healthy.

So we're making progress.

Let's try and get a solution, right?

'Cause I'm not gonna be here forever.

Will you, the Palestinians,

agree to give the pyramids back

to the Israelis?

This is in Egypt. Not in Palestine.

I don't care where you put them.

Give them back.

This is about gaining something

for your own people

whether you believe it,

whether you were convinced to do that.

-But in any case...

-All right, okay. Take it easy, girlfriend.

-All right.

-Civil rights...

If I did not get these queens

to sign a peace deal soon,

I would not become famous.

So I decided to think outside

the Geschwindigkeitsbegrenzung.

I've written a song that I think

is gonna help us make peace.

In fact, I know it will.

I've written a song

that I hope is gonna bring you two together

It's time for this war to end

Jews and Hindus, you be friends

This is the Middle East

Creating love is my mission

Don't kill each other

Shoot a Christian

Ich bin Brno, dove of peace

Ich bin Brno, dove of peace

Ich bin Brno, dove of peace

Yeah, a bit more than that.

Ich was out of options.

My song hadn't worked, und I didn't have

enough ecstasy for everyone.

Ich was ready to give up

when I suddenly remembered something

that the Jude had said.

In the last few years,

people were kidnapped,

and then they would

broadcast it to the whole world.

-To the whole world?

-Yeah.

So what, the whole world gets to see

-these hostage videos?

-Of course. Of course.

Ich would become famous

by getting kidnapped.

I am going to say something

that is gonna get you so angry

that if you've got a gun on you,

you're gonna pull it out

-and shoot me in the head. Are you ready?

-Yeah.

Your hair is sun damaged.

I'll be honest with you. I want to be famous.

And I want the best guys in the business

to kidnap me. Al-Qaeda is so 2001.

I don't like.

Can I give you guys a word of advice?

Lose the beards, because your King Osama

looks like a kind of dirty wizard

or a homeless Santa.

Get out. Get out now.

Ich was encouraged

to leave the Middle East.

Ich was encouraged

to leave the Middle East.

But Brno had a new plan.

It involved stopping off in Africa

on the way home for a little bit of shopping.

Mein little afrikanischer

Freund was going to get me

on the cover of every magazine.

Also, ich hired a top photographer

und held a casting for

the hottest baby photo shoot ever.

We're gonna do like this religious theme

where my baby is gonna be

on a crucifix playing Jesus

even though my baby's black.

So it's pretty cool, no?

That's cool.

It's kind of like that Madonna video.

Yeah, it's really edgy.

You know, we're turning it on its head.

Why not? Come on. Whatever.

So. We're looking for 2 thieves

to be on the crucifixes next to my baby.

Would you be ready for your baby

to be strung up on a crucifix next to mine?

Fine. Yeah, I don't mind her

being up on a crucifix.

Sure.

Is your baby comfortable with bees,

wasps and hornets?

George is comfortable with everything.

He's fine.

Is he comfortable with dead

or dying animals?

Yes.

Great.

Amateur science?

What do you mean by that?

You know, some untrained people

conducting scientific experiments.

-Should be fine.

-You know,

her mixing the pots of acid and that type...

-Okay.

-And so it's a yes.

-Yes.

-Great.

Is she okay with

extremely rapid acceleration?

Yes.

-Okay.

-Yes.

Does she always have to be in a car seat,

or can she just, like, freestyle it?

Yeah. You can freestyle it,

put her in a car seat. Whatever.

If it looks better without the car seat...

Of course. Of course.

So what? You're travelling fast.

You're not gonna kill it.

Of course. Of course.

Is your baby fine

with antiquated heavy machinery?

Yeah, she's fine. She's been around that.

Would she be fine to operate them?

-Yes.

-Great.

Is your baby fine with lit phosphorus?

Yes.

Excellent. Does he like it?

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