Buddy Solitaire Page #6

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I'M SORRY,

IT WAS A DUMB IDEA.

WE'RE GOOD WITH

DARK AND COMPELLING?

NAMASTE.

I THINK WE MIGHT BE

ABLE TO GET THERE EARLY,

GET SOME GOOD SEATS.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

ANYBODY HAVE ANY JOKES

THEY WANT TO WORKSHOP?

I DON'T HAVE A LO OF TIME TODAY.

WHOA, WHAT'S

THE RUSH, DUDE?

GOT SOMEPLACE TO BE?

-WE HEARD YOU HAVE A SHOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHA YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

AH, DON'T BE SHY, DUDE.

WE KNOW ABOU THE JUBILEE.

THE A**HOLE

IS FAMOUS NOW.

VANESSA TOLD US:

ALL ABOUT IT.

THAT WAS NICE OF HER.

WE WANT TO COME:

SEE YOU, MAN.

NO, NO, SORRY.

I DON'T THINK SO.

YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE

A STAR IN CHINA.

GREAT. WHY DON'T YOU

KEEP THAT JACKIE CHAN DREAM

TO YOURSELF, OKAY?

OH, THE FUNNY GUY AFWAID TO

PERFORM FOR HIS FWIENDS?

COME ON, LET US

COME SEE YOU, MAN.

LOOK, GUYS,

I TOLD YOU NO.

-WE'RE GONNA SEE YOU.

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

'CAUSE I DON' WANT YOU TO COME.

'CAUSE IT'S

NOT APPROPRIATE.

YOU'RE STUDENTS.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA COME SEE--

YOU KNOW WHAT, NO.

IT'S A VIOLATION OF

HOW WE SHOULD INTERAC AS TEACHERS--

YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

REALLY SHORT CLASS

TODAY, OKAY?

WHAT'S WITH THE STICK

UP HIS ASS?

IT'S JUST STAGE FRIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WE WILL GO SEE HIM.

IT'S DECIDED.

WAIT, I'M NOT DECIDED.

OKAY, I'M DECIDED.

I'VE DECIDED

YOU'RE NOT GOING.

LET ME GO TALK TO HIM.

BUDDY? HEY.

HEY.

-YEAH. I GOT A LO ON MY MIND.

WELL, LISTEN.

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP

YESTERDAY.

I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

THE ASSIGNMENT,

"WHO AM I?"

TYSON'S HOMEWORK.

YOU WANT TO DO THAT NOW.

HEY, I GOT A 4.0

AT CSUN, MAN.

HIGHEST-SCORING OFFICER

IN PHOENIX BATTALION.

NOT FOR DANCING.

NO, I'VE COME UP

WITH A THESIS, MAN.

I JUST NEED:

AN EXAMPLE FROM YOU.

-YEAH.

I'M A COMEDIAN, MAN.

THAT'S ALL.

THERE IS AN ASIAN WOMAN THERE

WHO IS COVERED IN CUTS.

HEY. JUST GOTTA TAKE A QUICK

SHOWER BEFORE THE SHOW--

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

-IT'S NOTHING.

-THAT'S YOU TALKING

ABOUT MY GROUP.

BABY, IT'S JUS SOME JOKES.

IS THIS THE STUFF

YOU'RE GONNA DO A THE JUBILEE?

YOU'RE EXPLOITING THEM.

YOU'RE EXPLOITING THEM.

YOU SAID YOU LIKED THEM.

HONEY, I DO LIKE THEM.

LOOK, THIS IS JUS SOME BULLSHIT.

YOU CAN'T-- YOU CAN' HURT THEM LIKE THIS.

THEY CAN'T TAKE IT.

THEY TRUST YOU!

THEY SHOULD TRUST ME.

I CAN BELIE--

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

-I HAVE TO CALL TYSON.

-NO, YOU DON'T.

NO, YOU DON'T.

STOP!

HONEY, NO, NO.

LET GO.

-WHAT THE F***

DO YOU CARE?

-LET GO.

LET GO.

THEY'RE NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

THEY'RE NOT GOOD

FOR THE BABY, OKAY?

ARE YOU STILL:

GONNA DO THOSE JOKES?

I DON'T KNOW.

BUDDY.

NAMASTE.

HEY.

WHAT'S THE ORDER?

DON'T YOU WANT TO

CHECK OUT THE CATERING?

WE GOT GLUTEN-FREE NUTMEG

FROM GANDHI'S TANDOORI.

ISN'T ALL NUTMEG

GLUTEN:

IT'S GANDHI'S NUTMEG.

HEY, LOOK, CAN YOU JUS TELL ME WHEN I GO UP?

I GOT FOUR BOOKERS

OUT HERE FOR YOU, BUDDY.

-YEAH.

YES. I'LL BE

IN THE GREEN ROOM.

GO GET 'EM.

HEY. DON'T SUCK

TONIGHT, OKAY?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR

BUDDY SOLITAIRE!

TOO FANBOY?

NO, I CAN'T WAI TO SEE HIS FACE.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

I RECENTLY TOOK A JOB

AT A PSYCHOLOGICAL

COUNSELING CENTER.

I TEACH STAND-UP

TO THE INSANE.

EVERYTHING OKAY?

I LEFT MY MEDICATION

AT HOME.

WHEN WERE YOU:

SUPPOSED TO TAKE IT?

ABOUT AN HOUR AGO?

I'LL BE FINE, GUYS.

GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME.

THERE IS A CRAZY

ASIAN WOMAN:

WHO IS COVERED IN CUTS.

IT LOOKS LIKE SHE

GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH

100 KNIFE-WIELDING MIDGETS

AND LOST.

BUT THE ABSOLUTE

BEST GUY THERE:

IS A SCHIZOPHRENIC

BLACK GUY WHO USED

TO WORK AT VONS.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND

HOW HARD THAT IS?

MY 15-YEAR-OLD COUSIN

IS A GENERAL MANAGER

AT VONS.

I HAVE SEEN A BABY

RUN THE REGISTER

AT VONS.

IT IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE

TO GET FIRED FROM VONS,

BUT THEY HAD TO,

BECAUSE WHEN THIS GUY HAS

A SCHIZOPHRENIC BREAK,

HE SHAKES AND:

THEN PISSES HIMSELF.

OH!

-YEAH. YEAH.

HE IS LIKE A HUMAN

POLAROID PICTURE WITH

A VERY WEAK BLADDER.

-YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE.

-GET THE F*** OFF ME.

IT'S NOT WHA IT LOOKED LIKE.

YEAH, THEN WHA THE HELL WAS IT?

-LET ME TALK TO BUGG.

-F*** OFF!

-NO, IT'S OKAY.

-NO, NO, NO, NO.

-DON'T MAKE FUN

OF ME NO MORE.

DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME.

DON'T TOUCH ME!

DON'T TOUCH ME!

-LEAVE HIM ALONE!

-GET THE F*** OFF ME.

HIT ME AGAIN.

YOU'RE F***ING CRAZIER

THAN THE REST OF US.

WHAT, "UNKNOWN SOLDIER."

YOU SAVING IT FOR

YOUR GODDAMN FIANCEE?

GOT SOMETHING ELSE

TO SAY:

SAY SOMETHING ELSE,

FUNNY MAN.

YES, MISS JACKSON,

YES.

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.

WE'LL WAIT FOR YOUR

LAWYER'S CALL.

THANK YOU.

BYE.

HOW IS HE?

BUGG'S HAD A SEIZURE.

DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?

THE SHOW?

YEAH.

HI, UH,

HAVE YOU SEEN VANESSA?

NO, SHE HASN' BEEN HERE ALL DAY.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

WHAT THE HELL:

ARE YOU DOING HERE?

JUST HERE:

TO SEE VANESSA...

AND BUGG.

ARE THEY AROUND?

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

YOU THINK EVERYTHING

REVOLVES AROUND YOU.

DON'T YOU?

GET THE HELL:

OUTTA HERE.

IS THERE ANYTHING

I NEED TO PREPARE?

YEAH, I-- YES,

I WILL BE THERE ON MONDAY.

YES, OKAY, THANK YOU.

HEY. I'VE BEEN

LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

WE SHOULD TALK.

I DON'T THINK THERE'S

ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT.

HONEY...

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.

I'M GONNA GO STAY ON

MY OWN FOR A FEW DAYS.

CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT'S

HAPPENING ON MONDAY?

I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.

FOR WHAT?

VANESSA...?

"TACO TRUCK" ISN'T STAYING

WITH YOU TONIGHT?

-NO.

-I KNEW I WOULDN'T LAST.

REMEMBER, EVERYBODY'S GONNA

TURN AWAY FROM YOUR SORRY ASS,

BUT HANNA DARLING

WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

YOU TOLD ME:

THAT ALREADY.

WHY DO YOU HATE ME, MOM?

DON'T SAY THAT.

I LOVE YOU.

YOU GONNA STAY:

WITH ME TONIGHT?

-YEAH.

-HMM.

HI, MOM, HI, DAD.

STOP FILMING, YOU LITTLE SH*T.

HANNA, LET HIM PLAY

WITH THE CAMERA.

FORGET ABOU THE LITTLE RUNT.

HANNA DARLING:

WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

YO, BUDDY.

THE F***?

BUDDY!

DUDE!

JUST EXERCISING, MAN.

THE F*** IS THE MATTER

WITH YOU, MAN?

LOOK, I KNOW

IT'S MESSED UP

THAT YOU GOT FIRED

FROM THE COUNSELING CENTER,

BUT YOU GOT WHA YOU WANTED, DIDN'T YOU?

STEPHAN'S

REPRESENTING YOU.

RIGHT.

YOU WANT ME TO CALL

A DOCTOR, OR A SHRINK?

VANESSA WAS GONNA HAVE

A BABY WITH ME.

"WAS"?

YOU NEED TO GET BACK

TO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

HONESTLY...

YOU WERE THE HAPPIES WHEN YOU WERE TEACHING

THOSE STUDENTS.

TOLD YOU NOT TO:

COME BACK HERE.

I REALLY WANT TO

TALK TO BUGG.

"BEING NICE TO BUDDY"

IS NOT HIGH ON MY AGENDA.

LOOK, I JUST WANT TO

APOLOGIZE TO HIM, OKAY?

-THAT'S ALL.

-WHATEVERS.

WANT ME TO STALK YOU

FOREVER? I CAN.

I CAN SET UP:

AN OFFICE IN HERE.

IN THIS LITTLE MUNCHKIN

OFFICE RIGHT UNDER HERE, HUH?

WHEN THE PHONE'S FOR ME,

JUST LET ME KNOW.

PLEASE, GO.

I GET IT.

I'M PERSONA NON GRATA

AROUND HERE.

NOT ANY BETTER:

AT BASKETBALL, HUH?

YOU KNOW, THEY HAD TO

UP MY MEDICATION.

I'M SORRY.

THEY DOUBLED IT.

I HATE TAKING THAT STUFF.

MAKES ME THROW UP.

I SHOULD GO.

"POLAROID PICTURE"?

I TRUSTED YOU.

-I TRUSTED YOU!

-I KNOW.

YOU TREATED ME JUST LIKE

THE REST OF 'EM, MAN.

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