Bunny and the Bull Page #3

Hey, dude. Hey, dude.

Hey, dude. Hey, dude.

What?

for the big race. Got a dead cert.

I've had too many of your dead certs.

I've won on horses, I've won on crabs.

What more do you want?

Just nip down the bookies.

It'll only take you 5 minutes.

Unless you can't leave the house.

I can.

Go on, then. I bet you.

All right.

Hey, dude.

You weren't gonna leave me

out there, were you?

Yeah, yeah.

I love what you've done with the place,

by the way.

Little tip for you.

I think what you need is more boxes

filled with random old sh*t.

It's important to stay organised.

I take it you're not entertaining much.

Not that women don't love boxes.

I mean, what is all this sh*t?

Stamps, rubber bands...

drinking straws '95-'96.

Yeah, that was a vintage year

for the old straw.

Please, Bunny, just leave them.

- Captain Crab. Bingo!

- Put it back!

Please don't be a vegetarian option.

It's not food.

Maps.

I remember these.

jaunty tune

Jesus!

I've just worked out

that if all these bets come in,

I'm gonna win...

3.4 billion.

Are you f***ing my face?

I am not f***ing your face.

Obviously they're all long shots,

but I am feeling lucky today.

I think you will win.

Yeah? Why's that?

Because yesterday a gypsy sold me

afoot of a rabbit.

She said it will bring luck to me

and all my friends.

Maybe you will win 1 billion.

- Primo!

- Primo!

A rabbit's foot.

Yeah. They are very lucky.

Not for the rabbit.

What?

- Let it go, dude.

- I said, not for the rabbit.

On account of the rabbit

being killed and dismembered.

No, lucky for me.

I don't know about the rabbit.

Maybe he is OK.

Maybe he is happy.

A happy hoppy.

- Dude...

- Just rabbits, or would any animal do -

a dog, kangaroo, a cat...

Cat?

What are you, a silly bottom?

Cats are very unlucky.

In Spain, if you step on a cat,

you have to spit on him

or it's very bad luck.

What? I did that yesterday.

What'll happen?

- You will die.

- Die?

We've gotta turn around.

I'm not turning around

so you can spit on a cat.

- I'm gonna die.

- No-one's going to die.

Don't worry, I have the San Cristbal.

What?

If you believe in St. Christopher,

you will not die. It's stronger than a cat.

Thank God.

No.

My f***ing God.

Where is my St. Christopher?

- Have you stolen him?

- Have you stolen her St. Christopher?

- I haven't taken anything.

- Pull over.

We have to find it! We need to find it.

I don't know if you are really aware

what is happening here.

If we don't find my St. Christopher,

we're going to die!

- You have to pull over! Pull over, buddy!

- Stop the car!

Stop this!

The only thing that's going to cause

an accident is you two larking around!

Sit down and shut up!

I am not pulling over!

- Why are you pulling over, dude?

- Need some petrol.

Bit embarrassing...

after your little speech.

A quiet word, dude.

Why are you f***ing this up?

F***ing what up?

So she's got a few lucky charms.

So what?

Come on, man.

You finally meet someone you stand

a chance with and what do you do?

You crawl straight into the Friend Zone

like a scaredy little guinea pig.

Listen. I'm not interested. OK?

Even if I did like her, which I don't,

I'm having a year off sex.

So just back off. OK?

All right.

Won't say another word.

All I'm saying is, we don't want

another Melanie on our hands.

I'm not you, Bunny.

I don't have to f*** something

every 5 minutes, like a dog with a bone.

OK. Jesus.

I'm sorry.

He has gone.

I am not going to drive, very unlucky.

It's all right.

We don't need a St. Christopher.

St. Stephen will drive.

He's very safe.

Come on in.

You've got a lovely big bear.

- Yes, I'm beating her tomorrow.

- What for?

For being a bad bear.

Really?

No, you bloody idiot.

To get the dust off her.

Come through. You 3 are upstairs.

I don't know who's doing what with whom,

so I've given you 3 singles.

- Night, dude.

- Night-night.

- Night.

- Night.

- Good night, baby.

- Night.

Snowing outside

In the garden here now

A thousand years will pass

But still I won't know...

Just a minute.

Hey, dude.

Hi.

Are you after Eloisa?

No, no. No, I just...

wondered if you needed

any laundry done?

Laundry?

Yeah. Good idea.

Hang on.

There she is.

Great.

Well, I'll just go and put a load on.

Listen, dude.

You haven't got a johnny, have you?

What for?

"What for?"

Right. Yes.

Yeah, I think me and Eloisa

are about to...

get it together.

Great. Good.

Yep. Well, I do, yes, as a matter of fact.

Great. Cheers, buddy.

You haven't got any more,

have you?

Sure.

Thanks, man.

I don't wanna take the piss here,

but...

- Why don't you just take the lot?

- Great.

That's brilliant.

What have you got

all these for, dude?

Well, I just thought

if you were bored...

you might want to have a...

water fight.

All right. Come here.

That does me good.

- Night, dude.

- Night-night.

Hey. Maybe we could have

that water fight tomorrow, yeah?

- Great.

- Yeah.

If there's any johnnies left!

There should be. There should be.

Hi, Melanie. Hi, Neil.

Sorry, Neil, I know I said

I wouldn't call again, but is Melanie...

Well, send her my... best.

Dude.

Dude, wake up.

What?

Got you a present. Come with me.

Come along, then, bear.

It's time for your beating.

Who are you?

You gotta love the bear.

She's all yours, buddy.

Sign of our friendship.

But you stole it, Bunny.

It's fine. People take sh*t from hotels

all the time. Lighten up.

Come on, dude. Put your foot down.

The limit's 50.

Everyone knows you can

get away with 10 per cent.

Is true.

You're right.

Let's all just do what we want.

F***.

I'm so sorry.

This is what happens

when you don't have a St. Christopher.

I know. I'm sorry, really.

I just lost control.

You were going so slowly.

I know.

I think maybe I'm a little bit drunk.

Drunk?

- You're drinking and driving?

- No.

I mean, I had a few last night,

but I'm sure I slept it off.

- Drinking alone, dude?

- How sure?

- I'm pretty sure.

- "Pretty sure"?

Yes.

Pretty sure is not good enough,

not for the police.

- My God. I'm going to prison.

- You're not going to prison.

I'm going to prison. I'll be raped.

- No-one's going to be raped.

- This is Switzerland!

- These people are Nazis.

- They're not. They were neutral.

Their neutrality was a charade.

Their banks are full of Jewish gold.

He's right. He's f***ed.

All right, so we might have

a slight situation here.

Listen. Bunny, will you please tell them

that you were driving?

- No way, dude.

- Why not?

- I'm hammered.

- So you're drinking alone?

- Hey, I'm not driving.

- What are we going to do?

- Listen, darling...

- Are you f***ing my face?

- No, I'm...

- You are f***ing my face!

Well, maybe slightly,

but we're in a bit of a pickle here.

OK.

So I was driving on ice, I skid,

and I hit a tree.

Exactly. Could happen to anyone.

- Thank you so much.

- OK, OK, OK.

But you'd better get

out of here right now.

A woman alone they can believe,

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