Bushwhacked Page #4

to make it work right...

and that they both

have to go in a room...

and they both take their shirts off...

No, no, no! The man doesn't

have to take his shirt off!

Just the woman!

Oh...

Hey!

What have you kids got there?

Give me that!

You guys shouldn't be looking at this!

Spider?

Could you tell us about

the birds and the bees?

I don't think I'm really

the right person to... uh

It says in the manual that, the Scout Leader

is suppose to tell us about that kind of stuff!

Really?

Yea, really!

Yep.

Well, if it says in the manual...

All right...

Hey, let me borrow your dollies, honey.

Ok.

Once upon a time, there was a man

dolly and there was a lady dolly.

And they fell in Love.

Tonight, on EyeWitness America,

Scout's Honor

- the hostage crisis. Day one.

Oh my... my. Our son's a hostage.

Let me tell you something: Whatever he is going through

right now, I'm holding you personally responsible!

Work it, baby! Work

it! Oh, that's good! Oh!

That's it, oh, right there. Oh,

that's good! Hee. Hee. Ha. Ha.

OH! OH! OH! That's it. Whoa! Oh, Yea!

Oh, that's how Daddy likes

it! Hee. Hee. Hee. Hee.

Everybody start your

engines. Aaaa oooh ga!

Then, the man has a cigarette, watches

a little Leno... and goes to sleep.

Any questions?

Hey, guys! Come on. I got one:

OK, what if a blizzard came

in and everybody else died...

Now, you can either starve to death or

you could eat the frozen bodies and live?

- I'd eat the bodies!

- But you'd eat anything!

I'd eat the bodies, I'd

probably eat the bodies...

Not your body, but I might

take a chomp on you...

Hey Spider. You do one.

Me?

Let me see...

Alright.

What would you do if you

were a delivery guy...

Ok...

your down to your last package and you pull

up to the house and it's a huge mansion...

I mean the biggest house you ever saw!

You ring the bell, the door opens,

and there's this sharp

looking guy in a suit.

And he pulls you inside and he says:

Today, is your lucky day!

I got a deal I want to make with you.

I've got six packages coming to

me, over the next three weeks.

If you can deliver them at 10

o'clock sharp, when it is dark,

I will give you 50 dollars a package.

- Sounds weird...

- No, sounds pretty cool!

So you say to the guy:

What's in the package?

He says:
I can't tell.

Because, both of our

lives might be in danger.

This is a good one!

Now, part of you knows, there's

something fishy going on here...

but the other part of you is thinking, this

secret package stuff, might be kind of exciting...

Kind of like a spy, or something!

I mean,... being a delivery

guy, that can get kinda boring!

Anyway, the guy takes a real 50

dollar bill and he slaps in your hand.

And he says to you: Are you in?

Now, what do you do?

Do you take the deal?

It sounds like a set-up.

And illegal.

And the guy sounds

like a total criminal.

- Do you know him at all?

- No.

- Does any one go with you? Are there any witnesses?

- No...

- Is there any way of protecting yourself, so you're not blindly walking into a trap?

- No...

Only a sucker would fall for that...

or a stupid!

Or a moron!

Or an idiot.

Or a sleazeball.

Spider, do another one...

that one was way too easy.

I'm going to hit the hay...

Ok, I'll do one.

Yes!

Can you really hear anything?

The thoughts and prayers

of the entire country...

Ah, religious program.

...remain with Scout Troop 12.

Hey, that... that's us!

Why are they talking

about us on the radio?

...who are being held hostage

by a psychotic murderer!

Spider?

His name's not Spider,

it's "Mad Max Grabelski"!

- It's him.

- Oh, no!

Guys, quiet!

Oh God, we are trapped with a killer!

A psycho killer!

I don't think they

even cover that in here!

Come on, we're Scouts,

Remember? Let's act like it!

We're all going to die!

Let me at him! I'll bust him

up! I'll handle him myself!

Are you crazy? You midget? We're dead.

There're never going to find us up here!

We'll take care of that.

Hurry up, Fish!

"H" is two longs and one short.

No, no. Stop. Stop. Wait!

Two shorts and one long.

Oh, Great, what are we supposed

to do? Cross that letter out?

God bless those little scouts!

What? What do you see? What do you see?

Smoke signals, right by the book.

- Oh, yeah.

- Well, almost.

Well, what do they say?

"Belp", "Belp. "

Ok, here we go.

Some allergy medicine,

some cough syrup,

and some sleeping pills.

Are you sure it's

going to knock him out?

One sip, and he's Sleeping Beauty.

Ok guys, we got a lot

of ground to cover today.

Oh, God, this had better work.

Spider?

Come on, Fishman, you can do it.

- Make sure he drinks the whole thing.

- Don't be scared.

Spider!

Hi, hello there?

Want a drink?

No.

But you're thirsty now. I can see it!

Fishman! I don't want a drink!

What do think, Gordy? Doesn't

Spider look a little... parched?

Yeah.

Give me the canteen.

That is good!

Woo! Thank you!

I feel good!

Sleeping beauty, huh?

Come on guys, keep up!

Everybody now! We come

proud, the Cub Scout Troop!

Ow! Ow!

I... I sprained my ankle!

Come on, Ralph!

Come on, shake it off.

Use the other one.

I think I sprained

mine, too, Mr. Grabelski.

What did you call me?

I called you... Polinski. I had a Dr. Polinski once.

I don't know why you suddenly reminded me of him.

He treated me for cryptorchidism...

... Undescended left testicle.

Funny! I can feel it going

back up there right now.

No.

You called me, Grabelski.

How did you know my name?

Oh, God...

How did you know my name?

I want some answers!

Please don't kill us, Mad Max!

- We caught, Mad Max! He's over here!

Well, what do you know! I'll take six

Ranger Scouts over one Federal man, anyday!

They captured, Grabelski!

I didn't do any thing!

We're not feeling sorry

for you, you're a murderer!

I didn't kill anybody. I'm innocent.

Well done, youths! Ha. Ha!

I'm Agent Palmer, FBI.

I thought there were two of you?

No, uh,.. only me.

All right. All right. All right. You're all

heroes... everyone of you. Very, very, very wonderful.

Ok, over here.

You just wait here for the rescue

team. I will take care of the bad guy.

Come on, Mad Max! Move it! Let's go!

Take care, kids.

Get up!

I can prove I didn't do it!

Just let me get to Devils Peak!

- There's another package of money!

- Save it for some one who cares!

A helicopter! We're saved!

- Where's he going?

- Something's not right...

Uh! What is it with you and the pushing?

I want to speak to your superior!

Is that him?

Mr. Bragdon?

Mr. Bragdon, you're alive!

Hey, he's alive!

Hello Maxwell.

Look, it's over. This guy's an FBI

agent. You got to give yourself up.

So what! So the plan

blew up in your face?

The important thing is,

you have your health.

And... your teeth...

Wait a minute! I thought they

found your teeth in the fire!

Yes, it was a bit inconvenient having them all pulled, but

at $1 million dollars a tooth, I think it was well worth it!

What?

Kill him.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes