Caddyshack II Page #5

There's gonna be phone calls, maybe

some mail. Talkin' mucho dlnero here.

And probably some American money, too.

A little chunky.

I don't care what it costs. I want it.

Mm-hm. Tough lie.

Jack, if I sell it, half the people

I grew up with won't speak to me again.

They don't speak to you now.

That's a very good point.

I'm gonna have to bank it

off the Chagall.

I topped it.

I topped it. Got a good bounce.

- It's in.

- Do we have a deal or not?

- Hm?

- Huh?

- Why not?

- Now you're talkin'.

Do you have a twin sister?

Well, gentlemen, I think we've seen

the last of Mr Jack Hartounian.

I guess he learned a little something

about who calls the shots in this city.

Wake up!

Now I know what they do with the bodies

once the medical students are finished.

You have incredible nerve, Hartounian.

What makes you think

you can walk into a private club,

- and stroll around as if you own it?

- Cos I do own it.

You must be Chandler.

What are you up to?

- Where did you get these?

- Ty Webb.

Ty Webb.

I don't know what sleazy deal you made

or what do you intend to do here,

but our members

will never stand for this.

- Most of them can't stand anyway.

- Listen, Chandler.

You know what the most important problem

with the world is?

Privilege. People like you who somehow

think you're better than everybody else.

Here is a city full of poor people,

poor people who've suffered.

Suffered and struggled in the factories

and the slaughterhouses. For what?

So that people like you

should live in a mansion on the hill?

Chandler, let me tell you something.

There's gonna be a lot of new faces

in this club.

I'm gonna see to it. I'm gonna open

Bushwood Club to the general public.

And I'm gonna make sure that everyone...

has a taste... of the good life.

Don't you just love this guy?

Don't start thinking

you've won anything!

This isn't over yet.

See you at the reopening.

Hope you like pickled herring.

Yeah, come on back any time

and we'll play a few holes.

- Chandler, I want to go home.

- See here, Cynthia,

the last thing we want to do

is let him think he's winning.

But he is winning.

Well, it's no different, is it?

Perhaps it won't be so bad after all.

- Gimme that!

- This is outrageous.

I don't want to talk about it,

let's just play.

Hey, boys, you made it, huh?

What do you think? Isn't it great?

It's great, isn't it?

I suppose this is someone's idea

of having a good time.

What?

Perhaps you can turn the music down,

you idiot.

Oh, yeah, right.

What do you say I join you

for a little small ball?

Here, have a pull off of that

if you want.

You've got a driver and a putter.

How can you play with two clubs?

How many do you need?

I can't believe I'm playin' golf, huh?

Golf. Golf.

Sounds like you got something

stuck in your throat.

Oh, he really got a hold of that.

That one's in the upper deck.

Oh, that one's gone.

Where's my beer?

You know the problem with golf?

It's a game for wusses.

There's no damn contact.

You know what I mean?

Wait, wait, wait.

I got an idea. I got an idea, look.

Let's play one on one.

I'll defend the hole

and you try to score.

You got helmets, you got pads,

you got your clubs flying around.

Throw in a little stiff body checking.

Boom, you got yourself a game.

- What do you say?

- Good God.

Well, it was just an idea.

Ho! Where were you?

I've been looking for you all day.

I can tell.

Quite an impressive search party.

Ha!

Oh, Cynthia. I didn't even see you here.

- How are you? How you doin'?

- Do you mind? You're blocking my sun.

Your sun? Your sun?

I'm doing you a favour.

You lay around here your face

will look like an alligator bag.

You're gonna be wearing luggage tags

for earrings.

Really!

I hope you brought your wooden shoes.

It looks good, don't it, huh?

Don't it look great?

Yeah, we had a hell of a time

trying to find all these giant tulips.

You got to knock it

right through that little door.

It's hard as hell.

All right!

I'm on my game today.

Give it a try.

Hey, Kate!

He seems absolutely thrilled

with the joke he's made out of our club.

Miffy, I hardly think Kate wants to hear

our unvarnished opinion on the subject.

You don't have

to varnish it for me, Todd.

I stopped apologising for my dad

a long time ago.

I admire that, Kate.

Hey.

That's a pretty girl over there, huh?

Yes, it is.

You'd like to get her alone in the dark?

As long as I've got your permission.

What's yourjob here? Yourjob here is

as a lifeguard. That's why I hired you.

I didn't hire you to watch my daughter.

- The lives. Lives. You got that?

- Guarding lives.

Every life around this pool

is your responsibility.

- Yes, sir.

- Repeat after me.

- Every... single...

- Every single life...

- You're too fast.

- Every single life...

around this pool is your responsibility.

- My responsibility.

- Every life!

- It is my responsibility.

- Every single life.

Except that son of a b*tch there.

Girls, now you'll see some sliding.

Get that bastard.

Kate! Miffy!

Watch this.

Look out below.

Yeah!

Oh, hot, hot!

Hot! Hot!

He's such a show-off.

Oh! Oh, boy!

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! That's hot! Ow!

Oh, that's... Ow, my ass!

That's it. Take him off!

Shoot!

Come on, shoot! Come on! Come on, shoot!

Shoot! Come on!

- Will you please move?

- Huh?

Oh. Sorry. Go ahead.

Come on, you got it!

He steals the puck.

He's got it off the ice!

Easy! Easy! Easy!

He shoots! He scores!

This is some damn sport,

eh, boys?

- I think I've had enough for today.

- Let's go another 18. What do you say?

Chandler Young?

Yes.

Our mutual friend

told me to meet you here.

Captain Tom Everett, United States

Marine Corps, Company A, retired.

I was expecting someone with a vehicle,

but not this.

Well, think about it,

your objective is to surveil a target

operating in the construction business.

What could be better suited to this sort

of covert recon than a barf wagon?

- Order something.

- I'm really not that hungry.

Typical.

Might I remind you that sacrifice is

the key to the survival of your country?

Or in this case, your country club.

All right,

then give me a cheese sandwich.

Don't have it.

I'll have a tuna on wholewheat.

Don't have it.

No.

I think you'll be ordering number six.

Fiesta burrito with chilli and eggs.

Just exactly what is

your military background?

Oh, I had 15 years in.

Covert stuff mainly.

Recon, LRRPs, special ops.

Yeah. Most of the details

of my assignments are still classified.

I can't go into it without compromising

elements of our foreign policy.

But it was mainly demolition work

of an inter-personal nature.

Then there was that damn

bureaucratic snafu in the Nam.

I ended up in a VA mental facility.

Typical.

So typical.

I can then assume our friend

will be discouraged from involvement

with Bushwood Country Club?

Are we talking... discouraged...

with extreme prejudice?

I'm afraid we already tried

extreme prejudice. Didn't work.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes