Camera Store Page #3

---

Oh, Ray won't let you

anywhere near his register.

Guards it like fort Knox.

I, however, may be

able to help you out.

But...

He won't let me near it, either.

Oh, he himself has said it...

And it's frightening,

to his credit.

Oh, you gorgeous, buxom thing,

you.

Woman

welcome, valley shoppers...

To the green

at green meadows mall.

It's now 10:
00 A.M.

enjoy your shopping day.

Dave? Ha-hey!

You're never gonna get it.

Oh, well, guess. Why can't you

guess? It's just a...

Penny... Wednesday.

Penny Wednesday...

From Grossinger's?

The phone book... yeah,

you're right here on page 113.

Hold on a sec.

You off your meds?

It's nothing, Dave, just some

creep smitten with my beauty.

Receptionist

Mr. Nakimura's office.

Ah, yes, hi, good morning.

Mr. Nakimura, please?

You said call if I ever

made it down.

Well, I'm down.

Receptionist

may I ask who's calling?

Yes, this is Ray Lapine.

Just for the day.

Unless I can find

some place to stay.

Receptionist

we have your information.

Oh, you have it. Excellent.

I didn't call for money.

I just... thought we had a love

connection, that's all.

Is there another time

today that I could call back?

Receptionist maybe

try him in an hour and a half.

Okay, that's fine. 90 minutes.

Can we commit to that?

Receptionist

you'll just have to try him.

Merry Christmas.

Yes, merry chr...

Tonight? You got a wife,

don't you, Dave?

You swore up and down you

didn't...

And I am just stupid enough.

I'm not so stupid,

I don't know I'm dumb, okay?

Hey. Employment booth.

Second level.

Tell Lorraine that

Ray Lapine sent you.

Yeah... and why would

Ray Lapine do that?

Whatever it is, he's not

gonna let it go.

That's Ray, you see,

he's like the Irish.

He loves his misery.

Talking of misery,

are you married?

No, of course you're not,

of course, you're not.

You're a living example of that

proposition which states...

Not all men are fools,

some are bachelors.

Ba-boom.

So, you're married?

Oh, five times.

Yep. Five times married and

five beautiful wives.

Now once, on my honeymoon

with Lorna.

Lorna, French Canadian,

god, was she hot.

We were a couple.

I mounted her like a stallion.

This was not lovemaking in a

convention sense, Pete.

This was more like some

sort of nature film.

Hey. What's going on

down there?

Something new... there's always

something new.

Yeah.

You want to get laid and I know

you do... where do you go, eh?

Bars? Parties? Night clubs?

Wrong!

Wrong.

Launderettes.

There are women there, Pete.

I Grant you, most of them

are married...

But there are bona fide women

there nonetheless.

And did you know the incidents

of venereal disease...

Transmission in launderettes

is low.

Really?

Extremely low.

And I am speaking

from experience here.

Yeah.

And you know the best thing?

No pretension... no hard to get.

It's just eye contact besides

the industrial dryers...

And two minutes later, you're

doing it on top of the Maytag.

And do you know how

they look afterwards?

How?

Grateful. And why?

And this is the best part...

No pretension.

I thought that was

the best part.

Nah.

You're a very literal soul,

aren't you.

Oh! As I live and breathe,

here is the man.

How are you, Tony?

How are things?

52 bucks, pinky. And I want it

by Monday, no more bullshit.

And you shall have it.

Any news about the checks?

They're not here yet.

B-but... why not?

Paramus, Pearl river,

white plains.

Ah, but not in Nanuet.

They weren't ready yet.

No.

I expect they will be

by tonight, yeah?

Well, happy Christmas to you

and yours.

Monday.

Drunk ass motherf***er.

Who are you, Wayne Newton?

Felix Potemkin, mall manager.

Yeah.

I have a friend.

No names, at the moment,

because we're just supposing...

Two perfect strangers talking

for an instant in eternity...

Neither wanting

anything from the other.

Is this a long story?

Perhaps I can be helpful

with your employment situation.

Following which you

might join me for lunch...

At my private table

in the Macy's tea room?

Are you a spaz or what?

Maybe I'm that candy-colored

clown, maybe not.

I'll think about it.

Okay.

Come in. May I help you?

Mr. Lapine...

What are you doing?

Quality control...

Checking the exposure.

Grain... paper quality.

Well, aren't those private?

Let me ask you a question.

What do you think?

Oh, god.

Yeah, do you think

she's having fun?

I don't think she's

a Wharton girl.

Maybe Julliard. Oh yeah...

Flautist.

You recognize the guy

in that thing?

Maybe from the club?

That's Dr. Lobell.

He's a gynecologist.

Appears he is.

I don't think that's his wife.

Uh, no, I don't think so.

Oh-o.

But that is.

Mrs. Lobell...

Well, hi there, Pete.

What are you doing here?

I'm just working for a paycheck.

Young Peter and I were

just discussing you.

Oh?

Actually I was defending you

and the doctor.

I was defending your choice...

Of taking your business

to Yorktown camera.

I mean, here at bibideaux...

All we can do is offer

25 years of unflagging service.

Yorktown is cheaper.

And certainly I don't mean

that in a tawdry way.

I really have to run.

But let me just finish...

Because I was very surprised by

some of the photos...

That Peter here has

just come across.

Interesting tidbit

about our young Peter.

He likes going through

the photographs.

Quality control, he calls it.

I can't quite explain how

it happened...

But it seems as though we've

come across some photographs...

Of your husband's.

Oh, i... I doubt they're

my husband's.

Ah, how is the good doctor,

by the way?

I thought you knew.

What's that?

They have... they found

a brain tumor.

Um, how long ago?

About a month.

They've done everything

that they can, so...

Mr. Lapine...

I'm so sorry.

These are not your husband's

photos...

At all, Mrs. Lobell.

See, Peter, no,

the last name is Lapell.

I'm... I am terribly sorry.

Big mistake.

Please do tell your husband

for me and from everyone here...

I will.

She didn't let me

finish my sentence.

Hey!

I'm sorry.

I'm okay, just gonna stink

for a while.

How... how did you fall in?

Fall? I climbed in,

looking for breakfast.

Not for me, Dorko.

Wow... look at him go.

Her.

And she's hungry.

Vegetarian... just like

her mama.

Poor thing, ain't had

a bite since Kingston.

You want to buy her?

She could use a good home.

Me? Bad luck. Everybody around

me always croaks.

Oh.

You could trade me that watch.

That looks like something

captain James t. Kirk...

Of the USS enterprise

would wear.

Who gave it to you?

Your girlfriend?

My mother.

I should get back.

Oh yeah.

For sure, me, too.

It's freezin' out here.

Would you be a gentleman and

walk me the nice way around?

Wait up. Hold my bunny while I

put on my work uniform?

Hi.

Wow.

Um, I think she's okay.

Cool. I don't want to sell

her anyways.

She and me are going to Paris.

She and I.

She and I are going to Paris.

That's what I said.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes