Camp Dread Page #3

amends for the past.

I apologize.

- Oh, you wanna pity f*** me.

- No, John, you f***ed me.

And you f***ed Rachel.

You had to go to

the press with your

on set safety issues.

- You had kids

getting hypothermia,

for Christ sake!

Unsafe cables in the water,

two props almost killed,

- You cost us all a

fourth film and my career

after two lawsuits drove

me to f***ing bankruptcy

and the studio blacklisted

me, you son of a b*tch.

- It's all in the past.

- And now you got

these messed up kids,

- They're not kids, John.

(keyboard clacking)

Are you in or not?

- Well, Julian.

I'll tell you to your face,

cause that's how a man does it,

I'm out.

I'll work conventions

until I die before I work

with you again.

Last word.

- I would tell you

to go f*** yourself

but you just did, last word.

- John!

- I'm done, Rachel.

- Are you really leaving?

John?

- What?

- Why did you come here?

- Cause I got a free

first class ticket to one

of my favorite

places in the world.

And you know what?

I'm really glad I

got to be here again.

And because I had just

the slightest hope

that just maybe,

after all these years,

things had changed a little bit.

But they haven't.

- Things have

changed, I've changed,

I am really here

to help these kids.

- What as a counselor?

Please, Rachel, I've

seen your luggage,

you got like four wardrobe

changes a day in there,

you're already primpin'

for all the cameras.

We all know why you're here.

- You know what, John?

F*** you.

- Get out while you can, Rach.

(ominous music)

- So I know this has been

one hell of a surprise

for all of you, but Jerry's

departure will not affect you,

we made an exception.

However, if any of

you should pull that,

the money is forfeited.

- I have so many questions!

- Rachel, you were in

all three films, right?

- Yeah but check it out,

look, in the second one,

in the third,

- Well, actually, I

was killed in part two

and I had a flashback

in part three,

but you know what, let's,

let's really get to

know each other, guys,

now is a good time,

before I actually tell you

how the TV show works.

- But you were the killer?

- Not in part two, John

Hill was the killer,

he drove me insane.

Since having all that fun

in the 80's, I went back

to school and I became

a therapist and,

- [Novak] Well,

that's real smart.

(laughing)

- Guys, seriously, settle now.

You good?

And while this is an

experiment for television,

I'm really here

to help you guys,

to deal with all of those

issues that brought you here.

I wanna help you, okay?

- Now hold on, here's the

that thing I don't get.

We're all 21, over 21, how

can they force us to be here?

- They can if your parents

have you by the balls.

- Katie MacFarland,

you were caught having

sex in your parents bed,

the problem is your dad

he's a federal pro-life judge

and you aborted the result

of your sex romp rebellion?

And then posted it on Facebook?

Nice going.

- You may not be a tranny

but you got some balls.

- F*** you.

- Christian Novak, possible

homicide involvement?

Christian.

Mom and dad high

profile realtors,

so I guess you added

to their housing slum.

Sarah Varaway, Sarah?

Sarah you brought your

girlfriend to your parents

Christmas turned

coming out party

after you both got a

drunk and made a little

merry under the Christmas tree.

In front of their very

important and I assume

very conservative friends?

And Matt Johnson.

Even when you're

bad, you're good.

- Thank you.

- Perfect score in

military test, ASVAB?

Refused to go into

the Marines even when

General Daddy

pulled some strings

to get you in as an officer.

And um,

your brother was killed

in Afghanistan 2002.

I'm sorry.

So we know Jerry is gone,

he did some bad sh*t,

he lost a lot of money.

Vincent Santone.

- Present.

- Videotaped your

step mother cheating

on your Wall Street father

and posted her banging

some guy on a website, I

take it you're very good

with a camera?

- Yeah, check out

revengeex-wives.com

and you tell me.

- You know, isn't this,

this is private information.

- You didn't read

the fine print?

Anything goes on the show.

Calvin Thompson,

Calvin lost your leg,

lost your girlfriend and a

shot at playing pro ball.

- F***in' A! What the f***?

- Ming Lloraltevan.

Sex with two underage girls.

- Now hold on, I was

19 and they were 17.

I ain't no pedophile.

How you know this sh*t anyways?

- Melissa Childs.

- What the f***, man?

- I don't, I don't have

anything on you, Melissa.

- Hey, pictures worth

a thousand words.

- And Andrienne Forez.

- Stop.

- Nervous breakdown last year,

I'm sorry, committed to

Byberry Mental Facility

after attacking,

- Shut up!

- Here you go Mr. Hill.

- Aha, did Betty make it?

- Just the way you like it.

- Nice.

You know Myrna, I don't know how

you've done it all these years,

runnin' the general store,

waitin' tables over at Penny's.

- Yeah that's why

I look like sh*t.

- It's good to see you again.

- You too.

- Sorry it took me

20 years to get back

but you have not aged a bit.

- Kinda like this town, huh?

You know, somewhere out

there's a motel room

with a painting of

this town as it ages

and I don't wanna see it.

- Take good care of yourself.

- Yeah, you too.

(foreboding music)

- [Voiceover] Yeah?

- Hey.

- [Voiceover] Hey,

you okay up there?

- Yeah, guess who's comin' home?

- [Voiceover] Julian changed?

- Yeah, same old a**hole.

No, he hasn't changed a bit.

That's alright.

- [Voiceover] Are you

flying first class?

- No, I'm not flying first

class, but I'll see you soon.

Love you.

- [Voiceover] Love you too.

- Bye.

(choking)

(scary music)

- The premise of

the show is simple,

I mean you need to

be the only survivor.

- [Matty] And what,

exactly, does that mean?

- [Rachel] It means that

you guys are the victims

and somewhere out

there is a killer.

It's just like the

Summer Camp movies.

- [Sarah] But you

were the killer.

- [Vinny] Wait, wait, there's

a killer running around?

- [Rachel] Exactly,

you have to stay alive

and when someone is

killed they're gonna place

a black cloth on the cabin door

and that's just drama

for the TV audience,

- [Melissa] I love it.

- [Matty] How do we get killed?

- [Rachel] Well, you

could get simply touched

on the shoulder or stabbed

with a foam machete,

or shot with a paintball,

all kinds of ways,

but believe me, you'll

know it when they get you.

So, while avoiding

elimination you guys

have to get the camp

ready for it's reopening.

(all groaning)

Hey, come one guys, this

is for a million dollars.

You guys will do your

tasks and your chores

and the challenges and

you are safe when you do

the challenges, that's when

you gain your immunity.

- [Vinny] When do

we get to sleep?

- [Novak] You'll sleep

when you're dead, b*tch.

- Oh sh*t, oh man,

this is like that show,

you know that girl

wants her watermelon

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