Carnal Knowledge Page #6

A year ago, it was 12.

It's up to 15 now.

Pretty soon,

it's gonna be 24.

What are you trying

to do, scare me?

- I need a life!

- Get a job!

I don't want a job.

I want you.

I'm taken, by me!

Get out of the house!

Do something useful,

God damn it!

You wouldn't let me work

when I wanted to.

That was a year ago.

You throw a tantrum

every time you call

and I'm not home.

Look, sister,

I'm out there in the jungle

eight hours a day!

You wouldn't even

let me canvass for Kennedy.

You want a job?

I got a job for you!

Fix up this pigsty!

You get a pretty

goddamn good salary

for testing out

this bed all day!

You want

an extra $50 a week?

Try vacuuming!

You want an extra 100?

Make this goddamn bed!

Try opening some

goddamn windows!

That's why you can't

stand up in here!

The goddamn place

smells like a coffin!

Oh... Bobbie.

You don't need me.

Why do you let yourself in

for this kind of abuse?

Walk out.

Leave me.

Please leave me.

God's sake, I'd almost

marry you if you'd leave me.

You call that abuse?

You don't know

what I'm used to.

With all

your carrying on,

to me you're a gift.

So what's it gonna be?

You sure know how

to screw things up.

So where does that

leave us?

Are you giving me

an ultimatum?

Is this an ultimatum?

Answer me,

you ball-busting,

castrating,

son-of-a-c*nt b*tch!

Is this an ultimatum

or not?!

Because if it is,

I'm gonna tell you

what you can do

with your ultimatum!

I'm gonna tell you

what you can do with it!

You can make

this goddamn bed!

That's what

you can do with it!

Goddamn clean

these filthy sheets!

That's what

you can do with it!

( door buzzer sounding )

She's not ready.

We're a little early.

You're looking

good, Cindy.

I do my best.

Will Bobbie be long?

Uh, no.

Hey, uh...

do we have to

go to this party?

How about it, Cindy?

Where's

the powder room?

Uh, right there.

I'm going.

You do what you want.

Man, she's

really something.

I'm so bored,

I'm going out of my mind.

Bored? With that?

You must be kidding.

You have to go

to this party?

Stick around.

- No, it's better that I go.

- ( door opens, closes )

Hey, I just

did my hair.

I've got this

at home.

How's your

tennis game,

Jonathan?

We'll have to have

a rematch.

Anytime.

( music playing )

Is she always

that way?

You know women.

Boy, is she

competitive.

She is very

competitive,

but I find that

attractive.

You know her problem?

She wants balls.

She's all right.

I'm not criticizing.

I wish she were

more feminine.

She is a little

masculine.

I just wish she wouldn't

always demand her own way.

She's got a great

body on her.

I have to treat her

like a child,

give her everything

she wants.

I wouldn't mind

giving her something.

You got Bobbie.

I should only

have it that good.

Ohh... Bobbie.

Bobbie,

are you kidding?

I've never seen

a body like that.

She could do with

a little more of

what Cindy's got.

She's so goddamn

passive.

Yeah, I wouldn't

mind Cindy just

lying still once.

She's so busy handing out

instructions in bed.

It's like

close-order drill.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind

a little of that,

as long as she doesn't

forget who's boss.

Hey, uh...

you wouldn't want

to swap sometime,

would you?

Are you serious?

What do you say?

Might liven

things up a bit.

( both laughing )

She can miss one party.

Leave her to me.

What about Bobbie?

She's so mad at me,

she'll jump

all over you

just for revenge.

Hey, you like

that, huh?

Seriously?

She's in the bedroom.

If you're quiet,

you can do it

and she won't

even know.

- ( both laughing )

- You bastard.

Give me a minute.

( music playing )

Tell Sandy

it's time to leave.

I hope you dance better

than you play tennis.

Sandy won't mind.

What's Sandy got

to do with it?

You're his girl.

He said it would

be okay.

( music stops )

What did Sandy say?

( sighing )

That you and me, uh...

you know.

That was his idea.

You had nothing

to do with it?

A little.

A little

or a lot?

This much.

I'm surprised it took you

this long to get around to it.

Sandy and I have

a party to go to.

Sandy's busy.

You wanna come around

sometime by yourself,

that's one thing.

I've been expecting that.

But you tell Sandy

that if he lays

one hand

on that tub of lard

in there,

not to come home.

So you call me.

Jesus!

Sandy:

She's semicomatose.

Better send a resuscitation

unit and an airway.

Be ready to give her

an IV on admission.

It's on...

Tell him we'll put her

in intensive care.

Bastard.

( gasping )

Very slick.

Very clever!

Well, it's not going

to work, Bobbie!

( music playing )

Jonathan:

That's Bonnie,

my first love.

She lived

upstairs from us.

We started

exposing ourselves

to each other at 10.

We got caught on the roof

one day by my mother

who washed my mouth

out with soap.

I never

got the connection.

Here's Emily,

my first steady.

Until she moved

off the block at 11,

I never laid

a hand on her.

Um, Mildred,

I think,

this one's name was.

She followed

me around at school.

The fellas

kidded me about her.

I warned her

if she didn't stop,

I'd beat her up.

She picked up her skirt,

dropped her drawers

and shoved her ass at me.

So I got my first

sight of ass at 12.

Marcia, 13 1/2

or thereabouts,

I kissed her one night

at a spin-the-bottle party.

This one's Rosalie.

Rosalie looked just

like Elizabeth Taylor

in "National Velvet."

I had a crush on Rosalie

from 14 to 15

and I never went near her.

In those days,

we had illusions.

Here's Charlotte.

Not much on looks,

but great tits for 15.

That's Lenny Hartman's

sister.

My first French kiss,

16 years old.

Here's Gloria,

the best-built

girl at Evander Childs.

I took her to

the Bronx Zoo once

and on the bus,

copped a cheap feel.

Here's Gwen.

I went with her

for a year

trying to get her

to put out,

but she thought

I was too nice

and was saving me

for marriage.

Every guy at Evander

must have gotten into

her pants except me.

Here's my first--

no, that one was a mistake.

Here's Eileen,

my very first f***.

She was a modern

dancer at Swarthmore.

Great body on her.

What a waste-- frigid.

Here's Nancy. Sweet kid.

She went into biology.

Very frigid.

Here's Bobbie!

My wife.

The fastest

tits in the West

and king of

the ball-busters.

She conned

me into marrying her

and now she's killing me

with alimony.

Don't know how

this one get in here?

This is my

little girl, Wendy.

"Princess," I call her.

Isn't she a dreamboat?

Here's a real c*nt.

I forget her name.

A Nazi.

I banged her in Berlin.

Here's something

I went with

for a couple of months.

First time I banged her

was on a yacht race

to Nassau.

This slob I went with

for a year

until I got so sick

of her ball-busting,

I couldn't

get it up anymore.

I can't remember her name.

This was

my Jap in the sack.

I heard that Oriental

girls were different.

Not in America,

they're not.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes