Carrie Pilby Page #6

---

then?

We do seem to be, yeah.

Wanna be

your man, girl

Wanna be

your man, girl...

Mmm-hmm.

( chuckles )

Every time

that I leave

I'm chasing

the wind...

It's a great bookcase.

Yup.

That's where we keep

all the books.

...taking ahold

Brings me back

Brings me back

to you

Wanna be

your man, girl

Wow, where did you even learn

how to kiss like that?

Harvard.

Damn, I don't think

M.I.T. had that course.

- You're doing okay.

- Okay.

Wanna be your man

Oh, love

I wanna be

your man

Your man

Your man

Oh, do you...

( laughs )

Is this--

is this your first time

unbuttoning a girl's shirt?

No, but it's my first time

unbuttoning a man's shirt

from this angle.

I'm actually wearing

a guy's shirt?

I believe so, yeah.

- How can you tell?

- The buttons.

Buttons on the left

for a woman,

buttons on the right

for men.

Look.

- Oh... my God,

- Watch this.

how did I not

know this?

( chuckles )

See?

You can't see,

but I had my eyes closed

for second.

( laughs )

- Um--

- What?

- What's the matter?

- Is that her?

Yes, it is.

She's watching us.

No, no she isn't.

It's just a photo.

It's just a photo.

Stand by me

And we're perfect

Just like you...

Wait, stop.

She spelled "too" wrong.

You make me

so happy...

Uh--

Yeah...

Yeah,

she's a terrible speller.

Let's--

why don't we

just close our eyes

and just try to relax?

Okay?

Oh-- I--

I feel dizzy.

Okay.

I knew we shouldn't have tried

to do this at my place.

All the photos and stuff

are a real mood killer.

You know what else

is a mood killer?

Having a fiance.

Get-- my--

( mumbles )

How are you going

to say vows,

sacred vows

in front of everyone you know,

that you will honor and love

and cherish this woman,

forsaking all others,

when you clearly

don't respect her,

which is the foundation

of all of those things?

You're not going

to leave her, are you?

I--

I really like you.

I really think

we could be good together.

You deserve

to be stimulated by someone

who's on equal footing

with you, and so do I.

Then end this facade

of an engagement.

I will!

I mean, you know,

I might.

I just met you!

Not for me!

For you, for her!

Look, I thought

that you wanted this.

Just because

you want something,

doesn't make it right.

Oh, Jesus, Pollyanna.

This is real life.

Real life

is complicated.

Don't be such a child.

Professor Harrison:

I think this has been

my best semester ever,

Carrie.

Me too.

Oh, I forgot,

I have something for you.

Oh, yeah?

Mmm-hmm.

It's um--

it's more of a loan

than a gift.

I thought

you might like to read

the first edition version.

But, I need it back

because it's really special

to me.

How sweet, thank you.

I promise I'll take

good care of it.

You make me happy,

you know that?

You make me happy too.

Um...

You know

what would really,

really make me happy?

What's that?

If you could say

this one thing for me...

What thing?

( whispering )

I can't say that.

Why not?

Come on,

you're such a quick learner.

And it's just

one little thing.

You only have

to say it once.

You can--

I mean, you can start slow.

It won't sound right.

It won't sound like me.

Sure it will.

Just say it.

What do you want?

I...

I can't.

It's too embarrassing.

Are you serious?

Why can't you

just do what I ask?

Because I don't want to.

And frankly,

I find it a bit demeaning.

It's not demeaning,

it's fun.

Not for me, it isn't.

You know what?

I tried.

But if you can't just do

this one thing for me, then--

Then what?

Jesus, David,

why are you acting like

such psycho about this?

Don't be such

a child, Carrie.

I'll call you a cab.

( phone rings )

( clatters )

Sh*t!

No!

No, no, no, no.

( exclaims )

Katherine!

Ugh!

I'm sorry!

( whimpers )

I don't understand.

I need you

to take him back.

We can't accept returns.

He's all alone.

I can't do that to him.

And you're the one

that told me

that fish were social.

I already

killed his friend,

I don't wanna kill him

too.

You killed who?

Katherine.

It was an accident.

Did you eat her?

What? No.

What?

Lots of people

eat goldfish on dares.

That is insane.

Please, take him back.

But don't let anyone

eat him.

I told you.

No refunds or returns.

I don't want

my money back.

Just have a heart,

it's Christmas Eve.

Oh...

Store policy.

Hey, hey,

what are you doing?

Be free!

Make friends!

Have a life.

You can't do that.

Take him back.

I don't know

which one is which.

( chuckles )

I'm calling my manager.

Merry Christmas,

Spencer.

( shouts )

( screams )

( knocking on window )

( knocking continues )

Is everything okay?

What?

I heard screaming.

Oh, no!

That was the television.

Oh, okay.

Has your roommate

put you outside again?

Yeah,

but if you don't want me to,

- I could--

- Oh, no, that's fine.

You go ahead.

I'll be here...

obviously.

Hey, hey, hey.

Do you want

to go for a walk?

I mean,

it is Christmas Eve.

Normal people

don't like to spend it alone.

How would you know

what normal people do?

That's just what I'm told.

Don't you have to practice

blowing indeterminate sounds

out of a large piece

of wood?

I could do with a break.

So, do you live alone?

- I do.

- Lucky girl.

My roommate

Ted is insane.

- Really?

- He barely says a word.

And when he does speak,

it's invariably to lie.

It's actually incredible.

I've never met anyone

like him.

How long

have you lived there?

A few months.

I was roughing it,

living in a basement

down in South Jersey

for a while,

just waiting

till I got a job

so I could move

to the city.

I didn't want

to come here

and be owing money

to friends,

or having to live

with four annoying roommates.

- You know?

- Now you just have

one annoying roommate?

( chuckles )

That's a victory

from where I'm standing.

And you actually

have a job

playing the didgeridoo?

There can't be

too many of them

- going around.

- Well, I don't

just play the didgeridoo.

Oh, what else

do you play?

Just some

other instruments.

Like what?

You really want to know?

Otherwise

I wouldn't be asking.

Okay, let's see...

Flute, clarinet,

trumpet, trombone, tuba,

saxophone, guitar, piano,

drums, bassoon,

harmonica,

and the triangle.

I'm actually pretty killer

on the triangle.

And the didgeridoo.

I'm still learning that one,

but yeah.

Did you study music

in college?

Yeah, at Berklee.

Do you like music?

I'd be a weird person

if I didn't like music.

I used to listen

to old records

at my grandmother's

when I was a kid.

I was actually

quite odd

when I was younger,

you know.

Impossible.

( bell dinging )

Who's

your favorite musician?

John Coltrane

at the moment.

Nice.

You heard of him?

He's kind of famous.

You'd be surprised

by how many people

have never said that.

Knowledge

is kind of my thing.

Oh, yeah?

So, were you

one of those head-down

academic types

in high school?

You could say that, yeah.

And I'll bet

you were in every

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes