Casting Couch Page #10

- DID I GET IT?

- NO.

- HEY, BRO.

THANKS FOR COMING.

- NO PROB.

WHAT'S UP, LADIES?

LET'S GET SNAPPY.

- SO WHILE THIS

BELLAGIO CHARACTER

STARTED THE POSTER SHOOT,

I GET THESE BAD BOYS READY:

RELEASE FORMS.

WE GOT TO HAVE THEM SIGNED

IF WE EVER WAN TO RELEASE THIS DOCUMENTARY.

- YEAH, I MEAN,

GETTING THESE SIGNATURES

IS A LITTLE SKETCHY, BUT--

BUT--

[sighs]

I GOT NOTHING.

[camera shutter clicking]

- I'M SO MUCH COOLER

THAN YOUR BOYFRIEND

[laughter]

[girls giggling]

[funky rock music]

- HOW'D YOU GET JORDAN HERE?

- I TOLD HER

WE RECAST CHELSEA.

SHE'S GONNA BE

PLAYING LOLA INSTEAD.

- AND SHE BOUGHT IT?

- SHE'S HERE, ISN'T SHE?

- GOOD POINT.

BUT SO IS CHELSEA.

- YOU THINK THEY KNOW

ABOUT EACH OTHER?

[laughter]

- I'M GONNA GUESS YES.

- DOESN'T MATTER

WHO'S PLAYING WHO RIGHT NOW.

JUST KEEP REMINDING JORDAN

THAT SHE'S

THE HOTTEST CHARACTER.

- YEAH.

SHE LIKES THAT SH*T.

- I THINK JORDAN LIKES

THE POWER IN SPITE.

SPITE'S A COOL WORD.

- DALLAS IS SO

FREAKING BEAUTIFUL.

THIS WAS A GREAT IDEA, MAN.

- YEAH.

AND SUMMER BASICALLY

ALREADY WANTS:

TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND.

- YOU KNOW, SHE'D PROBABLY SLEEP

WITH ANYONE:

WHO COULD ADVANCE HER CAREER.

- NO WAY, MAN.

SHE'S WAY INTO ME.

- SURE.

DUDE, WHY ARE YOU

WEARING SUNGLASSES INSIDE?

- I'M A MOVIE STAR NOW.

NEED TO START DRESSING THE PART.

- RIGHT.

- HEY, BUDDY.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT?

- [sighs]

LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY.

- NO, YOU'RE NOT.

- YES.

YES, I AM.

- JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

- LOOK, ROSS, I NEVER MEAN TO UPSET YOU IN ANY WAY.

IT'S JUST THAT I ACTUALLY

HAVE FEELINGS FOR THIS GIRL.

- SERIOUSLY?

- DUDE, YOU KNOW ME

BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE HERE.

I'VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY

ABOUT ANYONE BEFORE.

- YEAH, WELL, GOOD TIMING.

- ROSS.

- I'M SO MUCH COOLER

THAN YOUR GIRLFRIEND

[laughter]

- UH, HEY, KATIE.

WHAT YOU DOING?

- STARING OUT THE WINDOW.

- YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT.

[chuckles]

ARE YOU OKAY?

- RYAN JUST DUMPED ME.

- WHAT?

WHAT?

I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

- HE DID IT OVER THE PHONE.

- WHAT, WHO DOES THAT?

- RYAN, APPARENTLY.

- YEAH, APPARENTLY.

- YOU KNOW, IT'S PROBABLY

FOR THE BEST, THOUGH.

I MEAN, HE'S BEEN A REAL STICK

IN THE MUD LATELY.

A LITTLE STICK.

LITTLE STICK.

- YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT.

- THANK YOU.

- AND I'M HERE FOR YOU

IF YOU NEED A SHOULDER

TO CRY ON.

OR SOMEONE TO BUY YOU A DRINK.

- THANK YOU.

BUT YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY,

I'M NOT ALL THAT SAD.

- REALLY?

- YEAH, REALLY.

BUT I COULD USE SOMEONE

TO GET A DRINK WITH.

[cash register dings]

- YOU CAN HAVE ALEX.

- WHAT?

- IF SHE LIKES YOU TOO,

GO FOR IT.

- [breathing heavily]

I REALLY THINK SHE DOES, MAN.

LIKE, WE HAVE BEEN TEXTING

NONSTOP SINCE THE PARTY.

- GOOD.

I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.

- OH, BROSKI!

I'M GONNA NEED A HUG.

- LATER?

- NOW.

- LATER.

- NOW.

- LATER.

- NOW.

- LATER!

- OKAY.

- I NEED TO SEE SEX.

[loud rock music]

I NEED MORE SEX:

IN YOUR FACES.

NICE. NICE.

BEAUTIFUL.

THAT'S IT.

COME ON.

OOH, YEAH.

MORE SEX IN THE EYES.

OH, YEAH.

YEAH.

MM.

[laughs]

GOOD.

NOW IN THE LIPS.

SHOW ME SEX LIPS.

SEX LIPS.

OH, YEAH.

OH, NICE.

OH, YEAH.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

BEAUTIFUL.

LOVE IT.

LOVE IT, GIRLS.

AND I'M OUT OF BATTERIES.

GOT TO TAKE TEN,

HIT THE LOO,

AND CHANGE MY BATTS.

CIAO, LADIES.

- I WISH I WAS BRITISH.

- OKAY, EVERYONE,

TAKE TEN,

AND DON'T FORGE TO SIGN THE RELEASE FORM

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY.

- GIVE ME THAT THING.

- YES, MA'AM.

- DID YOU TYPE THIS UP YOURSELF?

- I DID.

WHY?

- WELL, IT LOOKS

PRETTY PROFESSIONAL.

- YOU WOULD EXPEC ANYTHING LESS?

- I MEAN, THESE MOVIES

USUALLY OPERATE:

ON A MUCH CRAPPIER LEVEL.

- WELL, THERE'S NOTHING CRAPPY

ALLOWED ON MY SETS.

- OH, REALLY?

- YEAH.

THAT'S JUST HOW I ROLL.

HOW I ROLL?

REALLY?

THAT COULDN'T HAVE SOUNDED COOL

COMING FROM A JEW LIKE ME.

HEY.

NOT TO MIX BUSINESS

WITH PLEASURE,

BUT WHEN ALL THIS

IS OVER AND DONE,

WOULD YOU LET ME BUY YOU DINNER?

- UM, SURE.

AS LONG AS IT'S NO SOMEWHERE CRAPPY.

- SHE ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF

DAY AND NIGHT.

- SO WHERE DO I SIGN?

- OH, RIGHT THERE.

YOU KNOW, SUMMER,

JUSTIN'S JUST A COPRODUCER

ON THIS FILM.

I'M THE REAL PRODUCER.

- OH, YEAH?

- YEAH.

WE SHOULD TOTALLY, LIKE,

HANG OUT SOMETIME

AND TALK ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER,

MAYBE SOME FUTURE PROJECTS.

- I WOULD LOVE THAT.

- THAT'D BE GREAT.

POOR JUSTIN.

SOMEONE HAD TO PROVE HIM WRONG.

- HERE'S MY NUMBER

RIGHT NEXT TO THE "CALL ME."

- THANKS.

- HEY, SUMMER, LOOKING GREAT.

- THANKS.

- TOLD YOU.

- TOLD ME WHAT?

- SHE JUST WANTS

TO ADVANCE HER CAREER, MAN.

"CALL ME."

- THAT'S AWESOME.

- HOW IS THAT AWESOME?

- 'CAUSE IT MEANS SHE'S EASY.

THE WAY TO HER HEAR IS THROUGH HER CAREER?

I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

- IS HE GOING FOR HER HEAR

OR HER VAGINA?

JUST LOOKING OUT, BRO.

- PROGRESS IN MOTION.

[train whistle toots]

[steam hissing]

[deep percussive music]

NORMALLY A TABLE READ

IS AT THE BEGINNING OF A MOVIE,

BUT WHEN YOU'RE MAKING

A DOCUMENTARY:

ABOUT A MOVIE:

WITH A NONEXISTENT SCREENPLAY,

IT'S AT THE END,

SUCH AS THIS CASE.

- DUDE, WHAT THE F***

ARE YOU WEARING?

- MOVIE STAR STUFF.

YOU LIKE IT?

- NO.

- OH, BUT IT'S OKAY

WHEN YOU WEAR IT?

- YEAH, AT, LIKE, A RED CARPE OR PREMIER,

NOT A TABLE READ.

AND WHEN I WEAR THAT SH*T,

I MAKE IT LOOK GOOD.

- WHATEVER.

I FEEL COOL.

- HEY, WHATEVER TICKLES

YOUR TINY PICKLE, MAN.

SO THIS IS YOUR PLACE, BEN?

- YES, SIR.

- COOL.

AND WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE?

[deep percussive music]

- I HIRED SOME MORE FAKE PEOPLE.

I'M GOING FOR THEATRICS.

- I GUESS I'M THE ART DIRECTOR.

- HAIR AND MAKEUP.

- SOMEONE SAID THE DIRECTOR

NEEDED AN ASSISTANT.

- OKAY, AND THAT GUY?

- I'M WHAT YOU CALL

A SECOND SHOOTER.

I GOT HERE IN NO TIME

AND AT THE RIGHT PRICE.

I'M RILEY SACKS, THE FASTES SECOND SHOOTER IN THE WEST.

[imitates gunshot]

CALL RILEY SACKS

ANY TIME, ANY WAY,

AND HE'LL BE THERE

WITH A CAMERA:

FASTER THAN YOU:

CAN SAY TUMBLEWEED.

DON'T BE A JACK.

CALL RILEY SACKS,

THE FASTEST SECOND SHOOTER

IN THE WEST.

VERY FAIR PRICES,

PREMIUM QUALITY.

DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE

FOR PRODUCT PLACEMENT.

- I TOLD HIM TO FOCUS

MAINLY ON MY CLOSE-UPS.

ding!

- [laughing]

- HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

- ROSS JUST FELL

COMING UP THE STAIRS.

- YEAH, I BE YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED I

IF I FELL FLAT ON MY FACE, TOO,

WOULDN'T YOU?

- YEAH.

- UH-HUH?

- [laughs]

- THOSE TWO

WERE MAKING ME SICK

THE WHOLE DRIVE HERE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GE THIS SH*T OVER WITH.

WHAT'S THE PLAN?

- THERE REALLY ISN'T A PLAN.

WELL, KATIE IS GONNA

HAND OUT THE SCRIPTS.

- BUT I THOUGH THERE WASN'T A SCRIPT.

- IT'S FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT,

RIGHT?

- RIGHT.

GOOD DOCUMENTARIES

REQUIRE GOOD DRAMA.

- ALL RIGHT, WELL, I HAVE HAD I

WITH THIS LITTLE GAME

OF A PROJECT.

- DUDE, WHAT IS UP YOUR ASS?

- NOTHING, OBVIOUSLY.

- OH, I GET IT.

GROSS.

- YOU'RE JUST PISSED

BECAUSE TRENT QUIT.

- OH, I'M OVER THAT.

NOW I JUST WANT TO GET BACK ON

WITH MY LIFE.

- THE CAST WILL BE HERE

IN A FEW MINUTES.

- WAIT A MINUTE, GUYS.

DOES ANYONE REALIZE

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote