Casting Couch Page #8

THE PROJECT,

LENDS A MORE COLORFUL ILLUSION.

- HI.

- HEY, GIRLS.

WELCOME.

AS THE GIRLS ARRIVED,

I HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA

THAT WE SHOULD GREET THEM ALL

INDIVIDUALLY.

[upbeat punk music]

- AND I HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA

TO GET THEM TO LIKE

THE FACEBOOK PAGE.

[jazz beat]

- LET'S GET THIS SH*T GOING.

- I'D LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ALL

TO THE BLOODY SLUMBER PARTY

CAST AND KICKOFF PARTY.

[cheers and applause]

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU FOR THAT.

I'M JUSTIN.

I'M PRODUCING.

- COPRODUCING.

- WELL, IF WE'RE

GETTING TECHNICAL,

I'M A COPRODUCER.

I'LL ALSO BE PLAYING GEORGE.

- IF WE'RE REALLY

GETTING TECHNICAL,

YOU'RE JUST A DOUCHE BAG.

- LADIES, I'D LIKE

TO INTRODUCE YOU HERE TO BEN.

HE'S THE HEAD PRODUCER.

- HI.

- PARKER, THE DIRECTOR.

ROSS AND AUSTIN, THE WRITERS.

- HI.

- YO.

- AND I'M SURE YOU'RE FAMILIAR

WITH CHASE LOCKWOOD.

HE'S GONNA BE PLAYING

BRAD THE BOYFRIEND.

- I'VE SEEN, LIKE,

ALL OF HIS MOVIES,

AND I'M KIND OF A BIG FAN.

[mouthing words]

- AND THIS IS JOHNSON,

THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER.

- HELLO, LADIES.

WELCOME TO THE CAST,

AND WELCOME TO MI CASA.

HAVE A DRINK OR SEVEN,

BUT ENJOY YOURSELVES.

- I WANT TO BE JOHNSON

WHEN I GROW UP.

- AS YOU MAY

OR MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED,

NEWT HERE:

IS OUR CINEMATOGRAPHER.

WE'VE ALREADY STARTED ROLLING

TO CAPTURE SOME GREA BEHIND-THE-SCENES FOOTAGE,

HAVE SOME GREAT BONUS FEATURES

FOR THE DVD.

- THAT WAS ALL ME,

THAT IDEA, THAT SPEECH.

- SO DON'T BE SHY,

ENJOY THE CAMERA,

AND FEEL FREE:

TO INTRODUCE YOURSELVES.

- HI, I'M ALEX.

I'M PLAYING THE SWEE GIRL NEXT DOOR.

- I'M KIMMY.

[laughs]

- WELL, I DO LIVE NEXT DOOR

TO SOMEONE.

- I'M SUMMER.

I'M PLAYING JENNY.

[giggles]

AND I'M THE LEAD, RIGHT?

- I'M ABBY, THE SLUTTY ONE.

- HELLO, I'M DALLAS MITCHELL.

I'M PLAYING BROOKE,

THE INFAMOUS SCREAM QUEEN

AND THE LAST ONE TO SURVIVE.

- TYPECAST.

[laughs]

- I'M LOLA--

I MEAN, CHELSEA.

I'LL BE PLAYING LOLA.

- YES, THE LUNGS

OF A BANSHEE.

- THE SLUMBER PARTY

IS AT MY HOUSE,

BECAUSE I'M THE RICH,

SPOILED ONE.

- TRENT.

PLAYING BLAINE.

- IT'S MY FIRST LEAD ROLE.

- YEAH, I KNOW.

I GOT TO KISS A DUDE.

- SUPER STOKED.

[giggles]

- YEAH.

AGAIN.

- WHAT'S GOING ON, FELLAS?

THIS AIN'T NO GYMNASIUM.

WE'RE NOT HOLDING

NO SIXTH GRADE DANCE.

- IT'S A TANK WITHOUT A POOL

AND WE BREAKING ALL THE RULES

WALKING BY THE POOL

WITH A BOTTLE FULL OF HONEY

LOOKING FOR SOME TAIL

- HE'S RIGHT.

- LET ME GET UP

ON A HIGH HORSE FOR A MINUTE

I KNOW I'D BE THE BEST THING

- UH-OH.

GAME ON.

- HEY, DALLAS,

CAN I SHOW YOU SOMETHING?

- UM, SURE.

- HELLO, LADIES.

- HEY.

- HI AGAIN.

- GLAD YOU BOTH COULD MAKE IT.

- SO FUN, RIGHT?

- YEAH.

[laughter]

- UH-OH.

WE'VE BEEN SPOTTED.

- SHE LOOKS A LITTLE NUTS.

- NOT AS CRAZY

AS THAT KIMMY CHICK, THOUGH.

- I SEE A HOT CHICK

WALKING QUICKLY MY WAY

- YEAH, I GUESS.

- OH, HERE SHE COMES.

KILL IT, STUD.

- WHAT'S UP?

- I'VE GOT TO BE

TOTALLY HONEST WITH YOU.

I AM REALLY, REALLY EXCITED

TO BE WORKING WITH YOU.

- SWEET.

- AND I WAN TO SEE YOU NAKED

- HEY, GUYS.

- HEY, LITTLE MAN.

YOU DID WELL.

- HUH?

- I THINK SUMMER HERE

IS JUST PERFEC FOR THE LEAD.

- OH.

- AW, YOU'RE SO SWEET.

- I TOTALLY AGREE.

SHE'S GOT THE LOOKS

AND THE TALENT.

- THAT'S WHAT MY DADDY SAYS.

- PERFECT.

- HOW LONG DO WE

HAVE TO STAY HERE?

- OH, SHUT UP.

- HEY, PERSONAL ASSISTANT,

WILL YOU GO GET TREN

AND BRING HIM OVER HERE

FOR ME, PLEASE?

- NO, I'M GOOD.

- FINE.

KATIE, WILL YOU DO IT?

- UM, OKAY.

I WAS GONNA GO:

GET A DRINK ANYWAYS.

- NO, UH--

- YOU KNOW, YOU WOULD LOOK

SO MUCH BETTER:

WITHOUT THIS HAT.

- UGH.

PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME.

[funky music]

- HEY, NEWT?

SO THIS IS WHERE

THE KICKOFF PARTY IS?

- UH, YEAH.

- IS THAT THING ON?

- UH, BE RIGHT BACK.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,

JORDAN'S HERE?

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN?

I'M IN THE ZONE.

- WHAT THE F***

IS JORDAN DOING HERE?

- SHE BOUGHT IT?

- BOUGHT WHAT?

- I TOLD HER

WE CAST HER IN THE MOVIE.

WE WROTE A PART IN FOR HER.

- WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT?

- HEY, TO GET HER HERE.

YOU WANT TO GET HER BACK,

MAKE HER JEALOUS.

- SHE CAN'T BE IN THE MOVIE!

- UH, GUYS, THERE IS--

both:
SHUT UP, NEWT!

- IT'S A GOOD THING

I'M NOT SUICIDAL.

- DUDE, YOU COULD BANG

HALF THE CHICKS HERE,

ESPECIALLY THAT CHELSEA CHICK.

YOU WANT TO MAKE JORDAN JEALOUS?

I'LL HELP YOU.

- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

- I DON'T KNOW.

I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING, A PLAN.

NOW, GO.

HEY, JORDAN.

HOW YOU DOING?

- SO WHAT'S UP?

WHAT'S MY PART?

- YOU KNOW, THE CRAZY HOT ONE.

- WHAT'S THE STORY?

- PSYCHOPATH KILLER

SLAUGHTERING HOT GIRLS.

- YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE

THAN ONE HOT GIRL?

IT'S JUST A THING

MY AGENT SAYS,

A BUG HE'S PUT INTO MY HEAD.

IT'S ALWAYS IMPORTAN TO BE THE HOTTEST.

HELPS YOU BUILD A FAN BASE.

AND YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT, LIKE,

IT'S KIND OF LIKE

WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING

AT ALL THE PRESENTS

UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE.

THEY'RE ALL PRETTY AND EXCITING,

BUT THERE'S ALWAYS

THAT ONE SPECIAL PRESENT,

THE ONE WITH THE BIGGEST BOW.

JUST CAN'T TAKE YOUR EYES

OFF OF IT.

I'M THAT F***ING PRESENT.

AND WHERE'S THE SCRIPT?

- YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD TALK

TO ROSS AND AUSTIN ABOUT THAT.

THEY'RE THE WRITERS.

THEY PROBABLY HAVE A COPY

IN THEIR CAR OR SOMETHING.

SEE YA.

- THIS BENCH IS SO CUTE.

- YEAH, I THOUGHT SO, RIGHT?

THIS PLACE IS COOL.

JOHNSON'S GOT STYLE.

- THAT HE DOES.

- SO YOU WANT TO SEE THE WEBSITE

I'M BUILDING FOR THE MOVIE?

- YOU'RE BUILDING THE WEBSITE?

- WELL, I AM THE PRODUCER.

- I MEAN, YEAH, BUT NO ALL PRODUCERS ARE TECH-SAVVY.

- I USED TO WORK IN MARKETING,

SO THIS IS JUST FUN FOR ME.

- THAT'S SO COOL.

- YEAH.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

DO YOU DO ANYTHING

BESIDES ACT?

- YEAH, I'M

AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER.

- [chuckles]

OF COURSE YOU ARE.

- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

- 'CAUSE THAT'S JUST PERFECT.

- WHAT IS?

- YOU ARE.

I MEAN, THE JOB IS FOR YOU.

CHILDREN--

- [chuckling]

- F***.

WAIT, NOW YOU'RE LAUGHING.

- PROBABLY BLUSHING TOO.

[laughs]

- YOU REALLY NEED TO PU MORE MEAT ON THESE BONES.

- OH, DUDE, YOU ARE KILLING ME.

- WHAT?

I'M JUST SAYING.

DON'T YOU THINK HE'S TOO SKINNY?

- I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

I REALLY DON'T--

- I'M VERY UNCOMFORTABLE

RIGHT NOW.

- THERE'S A LOT OF ME

IN THIS BUSINESS.

MAYBE YOU'RE JUST NO CUT OUT FOR IT.

- WHAT BUSINESS?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THIS IS A JOKE.

- HEY.

- NO, F*** IT.

I'M OUT OF HERE.

- AND THAT IS WHEN ROSS

PISSED HIMSELF.

- SHUT UP, MAN.

I WAS INCREDIBLY WASTED.

I DON'T USUALLY GET LIKE THAT.

- HEY, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN

CRAZY STORIES.

- YEAH?

- OF COURSE.

- I THINK IT'S TIME

FOR YOU TO TELL ONE, THEN.

- YEAH, TELL US.

WHAT'S THE CRAZIEST THING

YOU'VE EVER DONE?

- WELL, THIS ONE TIME,

AT CHEERLEADING CAMP--

- HEY, BABE.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

- KATIE, I NEED YOU NOW.

- UH, JUST A LITTLE LONGER?

- NO, I'M GOING.

YOU CAN STAY IF YOU WANT.

I DON'T CARE.

- PRETTY PLEASE?

- OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

- WHATEVER.

- WHAT'S UP WITH PETER

THE PARTY POOPER?

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