Casual Sex? Page #4

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I have no idea

how those thoughts

got into my head.

I have no imagination.

You're horny.

I am not horny.

I hate that word.

I'm extraordinarily horny.

I haven't had sex

since a year ago, April.

Wow. That's an even longer

stretch than me. Why?

Well, I found out my boyfriend

was seeing other women,

and I had to end it.

It was making me

too nervous.

Yeah.

Now when you're with a guy,

you're not just sleeping

with him.

You're sleeping

with everyone

they've had sex with.

And everyone

they've had sex with.

[ Together ]

And everyone

they've had sex with.

Gee, I'm a lot

more experienced

than I thought I was.

[ Giggles ]

What do you miss most

about sex?

[ Sighs ]

I miss falling asleep

with someone's arms around me.

- And the feeling of...

- Orgasm?

[ Chuckles ]

I love orgasms.

[ Groans ]

I'm sick of my Mighty Intruder

vibrator with the flexible shaft

and the textured head.

[ Both Laugh ]

I wish I missed it

as much as you guys do.

What about Gary?

Didn't you guys have some

down and dirty sex? Hmm?

Well, um, one time,

we did it twice in a row.

And the first time

it wasn't too bad.

And the second time,

it took a lot longer.

And... I came so close.

Haven't you ever

had an orgasm?

Oh, yeah, sure.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, not really.

I mean, not with

someone else in the room.

Melissa, you never

told me that before.

Well, it's okay.

I mean, it'll work itself out.

Well, it took me a while

to figure it out too.

It's complicated for women.

But I think

it's-it's best on top.

You know, if you take control

and then, like,

really move around...

till you find

the right spot?

Really?

I like to be

on the bottom.

And I just

move my hips like this.

You can have one

with the guy on top?

- Mm-hmm?

- I hate you.

God,

how do you do that?

Just like this.

What? Wh-What?

- What are you doin'?

A circle?

- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, just

a little circle.

Like a little "O."

- What are you doing here?

- Didn't you schedule

a massage?

You?

The very best.

Ay-yi-yi.

[ Sighs ]

[ Giggles ]

I can't--

Um, I can't help it.

Why don't we try

a real easy exercise?

It might help you

loosen up a little.

Okay.

All right, I want you

to pay attention

to your breathing.

In.

[ Inhaling ]

And out.

[ Exhaling ]

That's good.

Now, try to imagine...

that your body

is very heavy.

That shouldn't be

hard to imagine.

[ Whispers ]

Hey, only positive thoughts.

Okay.

[ Screams, Giggling ]

[ Piano ]

[ Chattering, Laughing ]

[ Stops ]

[ Resumes ]

- Oh, hi.

- Sounds great.

Yeah, thanks.

It's just somethin'

I've been workin' on.

Don't let me interrupt you.

No, no, you're not.

I was stuck anyway.

Do you write a lot of songs?

I used to.

I used to be in a band.

Ever heard of

Bruce Springsteen?

Yeah.

I have a lot

of his records.

[ Laughs ]

No, I really

was a musician,

but I, um-- I gave it up

for a rewarding career

as a health shaper.

Don't you miss it?

You're really talented.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Yeah. Thanks.

I do. I do miss it,

but I can't complain.

I'm gettin' paid

to stay in shape, right?

What about your plans later?

I mean, after your spa career.

I don't know.

There's some things

I'm workin' on.

I'm puttin'

some things together.

I'm workin' on stuff.

There's a lot

of things goin' on.

Right.

See you later.

Get back to work.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Rock ]

[ Chattering, Laughing ]

Hey,

what's goin' on?

[ Grunting ]

How about one

of your special drinks?

I thought you'd never ask.

That's

a pretty dress.

Thank you.

It makes you

look feminine.

Melissa, why don't we dance?

Okay.

Okay?

Jamie, back to work.

I need an aggressive

beverage.

Let's dance.

Here I go

She's a wild card

Won't let go

She's a wild card

[ Continues ]

The way you move,

it's so expressive.

Most women would be

too embarrassed to really

let themselves go like that.

Do you know how

complex you are, Melissa?

Um, I think so.

I feel the need

to understand you,

to know why you are

who you are...

and how you

became that way.

And when.

How about a real drink,

huh?

Oh, I don't know.

You don't know?

Come on. Take a shot, baby.

Get this party rollin'.

Well, just a little.

I don't want to ruin

the effects of my colonic.

Then when I was 13

I got caught plagiarizing

from the World Book...

and my dad ripped my phone

out of the wall.

Then he said I had to return

my American Legion award

in front of the whole school...

because I didn't

deserve it...

because you're supposed

to be honest.

And so I cried the whole night

because I couldn't figure out...

how I was going to

stand in front

of the whole school...

and give back my

American Legion award.

They would think

I was crazy.

The next day at school

my heart was pounding

the whole day--

Oh, I can

tell you later.

[ Sighs ]

Melissa, did you know that women

experience 63% more heightened

neurological sensitivity...

during the arousal phase

than during climax itself?

Really?

I like all the phases.

I should stop.

But you don't want to,

right?

I feel so many things

right now.

This is kind of interesting.

They were really easy

getting on.

[ Applause, Cheering ]

Hello!

I cannot tell you

how excited I am to bring you

an unexpected treat tonight.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud

to present our very own...

Mr. Nick Lawrence.

[ Cheering ]

[ Electric Piano ]

I can really see you

You are really here

And when we touch

You don't disappear

It's nothin'

like I planned

It's all that I'm worth

It's strange and beautiful

It's heaven and earth

And who you really are

And who I really am

Come shinin' through

Shinin' through

[ Continues ]

[ Kissing ]

What's the matter?

[ Grunts ]

We have a problem.

What is it?

[ Sighs ]

I can't. I'm sorry.

Is it me?

No, no, no.

It's not you.

It's me. I'm not

attracted to you.

Oh.

Now, I don't want you to

take this as a rejection...

but rather as an acceptance

between two people whose needs

are profoundly incompatible.

And you're not alone.

I'm going to devote

an entire chapter

to this in my book.

- You want me

to walk you back?

- No, that's okay.

Melissa,

I know you're hurting,

but whatever you do

don't judge those feelings.

They're just feelings.

They're great.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

I really wish you

hadn't seen that.

We gotta find a hero

Somewhere, sometime

We gotta be strong

With love on our mind

Oh, no

Rescue each other

Hold on in the end

To the hand of a stranger

The hand of a friend

- Behind your eyes

- Everything I believed in

[ Background Singers ]

Ohh

I see myself in you

Behind your eyes

Behind your eyes

I found something new

There behind your eyes

Behind your eyes

I found the face

that I never knew

Before

Behind your eyes

[ Cheering, Applause Continue ]

Oh!

[ Vinny Groans ]

- Hey!

- Vinny!

- Hi.

- You're drunk.

It's happy hour.

Could've fooled me.

Oh, you want a shot?

No, I better not.

Okay.

There.

That'll make you

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