Casual Sex? Page #6

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All right, sure. No problem.

Thanks, sport.

Nick.

I can't believe it.

Stacy would

never get married

without telling me.

Let's go see

what's going on.

Why didn't she tell me?

Hi, Chopper.

Hey, there she is--

my favorite tenant.

Hi, Gus.

This is Nick.

Oh. Yeah.

Nice to meet ya.

Nick.

Hey, you can put those bags

out by the dumper.

Okay, buddy?

[ Giggles ]

Come on.

Oh, wow!

This is beautiful.

My God.

This is beautiful.

Stacy!

Where are you?

I'm in your apartment.

Where the hell are you?

I'm here.

Why are you there?

Well,

you were in trouble.

So I came to help,

and I dragged Nick

back with me. This is nuts!

Didn't you guys run off

to get married?

No. Like

I'd almost marry someone

I met two seconds ago.

I mean, I know him enough

to know I wanna know him better,

but that's not the point.

The point is,

your note scared me!

I'm-- I'm really sorry

I got you all worried.

All right.

At least I know you're okay.

Stacy, I hope things work out

between you and Nick.

Yeah, thanks.

Look, I gotta go.

Are you sure you're okay?

Are you sure you don't

want me to come back there?

I-I-I'm fine.

I gotta go.

All right. Bye.

[ Sighs ]

Guess I'm not

going anywhere.

I don't get it.

I'm hot, tight,

vastly entertaining.

I thought

that's what women want.

I know the feeling, pal.

What do you say we go

into the gift shop...

and get you a nice,

free Oasis T-shirt?

How's that sound?

You know, I used to have it

all figured out.

It's like women changed

when I had my back turned.

Yeah, it's rough.

You know,

I read something.

Where is it?

Here it is.

Here you go.

"The Pretend You're Sensitive

Handbook."

Nice save, hon.

Yeah.

I can't believe

how much stuff I got.

But I want you to know...

I'm not gonna take up

any of your closet space.

What I'd like to do--

Hon--

What I'd like to do is

stick everything over here

in the corner...

and then get one of those

cardboard drawer things,

you know.

You don't have to do that.

I-I can make room.

- You're so easy to live with.

- Yeah.

[ Chuckles ]

So here.

Here's my contribution

to the apartment.

Oh.

Well,

I guess I'll just go put

these away right now.

That's great.

Think I got another one

in here too, hon.

[ Panting ]

Help.

Jamie, you know,

you've done everything

a human could possibly do

this week to make me happy.

Not everything.

Well,

I--

Yeah, I know.

But, uh, you--

Just, like--

I feel like I-- You--

Uh--

It just wouldn't

feel right for me

to get romantic with you.

Why not?

Well, um, you're not

the usual kind of guy

that I'm attracted to.

Oh. No?

I mean, you're

really attractive, but--

but, um--

I mean, I thought maybe

we should just stick

to being friends.

[ Scatting ]

Hey, Stace!

You wanna cruise up and down

Sunset Boulevard?

You can show me

where all the stars

hang out, hon.

Oh, Nick, you won't believe

what just happened.

I called into work.

There's a big emergency.

They need me. I gotta go.

Really?

Yeah. Oven problems

or something.

Oh.

But I'll be back

just as soon as I can,

and I'll call you, okay?

You just stay here

and have a good time, okay?

Okay. Hey,

and I love it here, hon.

Oh.

[ Door Opens ]

You think it's too late

to use the stereo?

[ Door Closes ]

[ Door Opens ]

I need a small car that's

really easy to handle.

You'll be fine.

Just take your time

and don't be intimidated

by it, okay?

Okay. Thanks, Keith.

[ Engine Starts, Revs ]

[ Tires Squealing ]

[ Crying ]

Ah.

[ Kissing ]

[ Exhales,

Sniffles ]

Wow. Do I look

any different?

Gosh, I'm

so good in bed.

Jamie.

What?

I never thought

it would happen to me.

You're a genius.

I'm a genius.

I bet I could

even do it again.

Maybe we should wait

a few minutes.

[ Chuckles ]

Okay.

Okay.

[ Tires Screech ]

[ Door Closes ]

Can I have the key

to Room 34, please?

Stacy, so nice to see you.

Uh, do you have

a few minutes?

I mean, it occurred to me.

I don't even know

where you work.

Where I work?

Yeah, your career plans,

your dreams,

your aspirations.

I really wanna hear

all about them.

What I want?

I don't even know.

Ask me what

anyone else wants.

Give me three seconds,

I'll figure out

your whole entire life.

Would you...

maybe wanna share

something with me...

about your

childhood perhaps?

Vinny, what the hell

are you talking about?

I'm in a big rush.

Look, I have to go talk

to Melissa.

'Cause if I don't figure out

something about my life soon,

I'm gonna crack.

I respect

your strength, Stacy,

and I think you've got

a lot of potential.

- Mmm.

- [ Door Opens ]

Stacy.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

I should have knocked.

I-I didn't even think.

I'm sorry. Good-bye.

Stacy, what are you

doing here?

Oh, I didn't mean

to barge in on you guys.

Something's the matter.

Why are you here?

I don't know.

He's in my apartment.

Who?

There's sneakers all over

the living room,

and soon there's

gonna be cardboard drawers.

But who?

He thinks I'm a huge doll,

and the worst part

is he's so nice.

- Who's he?

- Nick.

Stacy, congratulations.

I hear you're married.

- I'm not married!

- Oops.

- I'm not married.

- Stacy, come in here.

Hi, Jamie.

Hi.

We're just gonna talk

for a second.

I'd leave, but I'm naked.

That's okay.

We'll just go in here.

Why is Nick

suddenly living with you?

'Cause I thought

I was in love with him.

Uh-huh?

[ Exhales ]

I think it was the sex.

I was celibate

for so long,

I started

to feel like a can

of kitchen cleanser.

You know, sterile

and gritty and abrasive.

And when we made love--

I don't know.

I felt like

a human again.

An mammal with breasts.

[ Sighs ]

And also he's

very talented. He's--

Stop.

Not the talented thing.

Okay.

I know. You're right.

He's the same guy again.

So, what are you

gonna do?

Well, I guess maybe

we could stay together...

until Nick gets settled

in L.A., and then when he--

Stacy.

End it.

Go back to L.A.

and just do it.

Sh*t.

You're right.

I am, aren't I?

I'm gonna do it.

It's a test of my--

my new maturity.

[ Whispering ]

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, Jamie's in there.

I know.

Can you believe it?

[ Whispering ]

[ Gasps ]

Oh!

Oh! Did he have one too?

[ Shower Running ]

[ Frankie Singing ]

[ Screams ]

It didn't work!

What? What? What?

It didn't work!

What?

The book. The book.

Don't get mad.

I'm not mad.

Look, a guy like me

cannot pretend.

Do you understand

I'm from Jersey?

It's like-- I know

this guy, Joey, right?

He-- He's in jail now.

He kills three people

with a knife.

But he didn't fake it.

He did it!

Look-- Look, Frankie.

I-I gotta get out of here.

I gotta get back to my roots,

put my head together,

do some thinkin'.

Hey, I'm sorry. I tried.

Oh, you--

you've been beautiful.

You're special.

I relate to you.

[ Door Closes ]

Good-bye.

[ Tires Screeching ]

Think she'll do it?

I hope so.

Hey, Stacy! Stacy!

Yo, Stace,

would you give me

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