Casual Sex? Page #7

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a lift to the bus station?

I've had it

with this place, really.

I promise

I won't hit on you.

I won't even breathe.

Oh--

Come on.

Okay, okay. Hurry up.

Thanks.

I appreciate this.

Really.

Oh, man.

No problem.

So, why are you leaving?

I was havin' too much fun

for one person.

I tell ya somethin'.

I give up on this whole

relationship thing.

I mean, I was bombin' out

so bad at that place.

I would've shaved

between my eyebrows

if I thought it would help.

Tell me somethin'.

How do you do it?

Do what?

This whole man-woman

relationship thing.

I mean,

how do you do it?

Like-- Like when you're

with your friends, you know,

and, uh, you can just talk

and do whatever you do.

Someone you're

comfortable with, you know?

Only like, you know--

like on a romantic level.

[ Stacy Narrating ]

Okay, when I first met Vinny,

I thought this guy

is a living argument

for birth control.

But as I get

to know him better,

I realize he's just like

the rest of us-- a mess.

- [ Tires Screech ]

- [ Engine Stops ]

[ Sighs ]

So I dropped Vinny off

at the bus station...

[ Mouthing Words ]

and rushed home

to face Nick.

I'd rehearsed every word

I was gonna say... out loud.

I'd covered all the angles.

There was no way he could

talk me out of it.

[ Nick ]

Stace?

Nick.

Hey!

I went shopping.

Boy, these are

gonna last forever.

And wait till you see

the stuff I got for you

to make us breakfast.

Waffles.

Great stuff, huh?

And I got this big thing

of butter. Look at it.

Nick! Nick.

This isn't working.

Why?

You don't like waffles?

I-- It's--

It's not--

It's not that.

It's that we don't--

don't have any syrup.

[ Laughs ]

Ahh.

You know, it's like

I was meant to come here.

I mean, everything--

It feels, man--

It feels so right.

Really?

Yeah.

I feel so inspired.

You know, last night

when you were working,

I started

on this new song.

Oh, guess what

it's called.

"Stacy."

Wow.

[ Laughs ]

It's got this really

great bass line in it.

Now, just listen to this.

Um--

[ Humming Bass Line ]

[ Continues ]

Nick, that's great,

but--

Mm-hmm.

Okay, wait.

[ Continues ]

Stacy

- Nick--

- Oh, Stacy

Okay. Anyway,

that's all I got so far.

Really, I like it.

Uh-- [ Clears Throat ]

But, uh, look, uh--

This is kinda

difficult to say,

but I, uh--

I kinda have a problem.

Well, is it about money?

Aw, honey, don't worry.

I can get some dumb job

until somethin' else happens.

I am feelin' so confident.

Really.

It's not about the money.

It's about us

living together.

Well, you wanna get

a bigger place?

No, it's not the size

of the apartment, Nick.

Well, what--

what is it?

Look, I know that I c--

convinced you to come here,

and I know I kinda

helped you quit your job,

but it's about

our relationship.

Nick.

Yeah.

It's not gonna work.

Well,

I thought we had something

pretty special here.

It's not your fault.

It's me.

I'll end up taking care

of you, and I'll forget

all about myself.

Oh, you don't have

to take care of me.

Christ.

Nick, I will.

You don't know me.

I-I'm that way with men.

I-I-- I just lose myself.

I disappear.

You know,

but you heard them when

I was singin', didn't ya?

They loved me.

It's gonna be

the same way here in L.A.

I can't do it

this time, Nick.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

That's okay.

But let me tell you,

you're making a big mistake,

'cause I am gonna make it.

Good.

I'm gonna be huge.

I'm gonna be bigger

than huge.

I'm gonna be on the cover

of Rolling Stone magaz--

No, forget that.

I'm gonna be on the cover

of Time magaz-- No!

Forget that.

I--

I am gonna have...

more fans than Elvis!

Good.

Yeah!

And I won't even be dead.

Think about it.

[ Exhales ]

[ Stacy Narrating ]

Well, Nick packed up

his Heftys,

and I haven't heard

from him since.

After Nick, I kind of

took a break from guys

for a while... again.

You got me.

I know.

But I was

hoping for something

a little more romantic.

Oh.

Tell 'em

about the letter.

You think?

Yeah, tell 'em.

Okay.

"Dear Stacy,

I hope you don't mind me

writing to you,

but the only other letter

I ever wrote was to

the editor of Flex magazine,

and that was just to say

how much I enjoyed this

particular article called--"

[ Vinny's Voice ]

"'Hammer Those Glutes Till Your

Butt's Like A Bowling Ball.'

So it wasn't

exactly personal.

So, why do I now

take pen in hand

to write to you?

Okay, it's like this.

Ever since

I got home from Oasis,

things are different.

Like, all of a sudden,

I don't feel like

hangin' out every night.

I don't feel like

hittin' on women.

I don't even feel

like drinkin' milk

out of the carton.

I feel--

[ Inhales ]

I don't know.

Serious.

Like I'm in the midst

of some heavy changes.

I've forced myself to take

a closer look at the Vin Man.

You know, open 'im up,

pull 'im out,

dissect 'im like a frog.

And I've decided

to go after...

a more sharply tailored,

finely pleated,

subtly striped look.

[ Grunting ]

And I've discovered

I have a creative side

to my personality.

[ Humming ]

Hey!

[ Loud Sizzling ]

Anyway,

since most of my friends

saw the Vin Man...

as a larger-than-life,

legendary figure,

[ Hooting, Shouting ]

many are having difficulties

relating to me at this time.

But since you didn't

know me for very long,

I figured it might be easier

for you to understand.

Besides, you're one of

the few people I know who could

possibly appreciate all this."

"Respectfully,

your friend,

Vincent Falcone."

What can I say?

Life is bizarre.

Are you sure you have

to go so early?

Yeah, we still have another

bottle of champagne.

Oh, well, I'm kinda tired.

Besides, you two

should be alone.

Here.

Mwah!

Good night, you.

Bye-bye.

Thanks.

Happy New Year.

Okay, thanks.

Bye.

[ Speakers:

"Auld Lang Syne" ]

[ Door Shuts ]

Hey.

Need a lift?

[ Chuckles ]

Vinny.

What are you

doing here?

I was just drivin'

around the neighborhood.

Last night I--

Look, it's like this.

It's Christmas Day.

I'm sittin' around

my house, right? I'm all alone.

So, uh,

I hop in the limo.

Twenty-four hours later,

I wind up in Chicago.

And I say to myself,

"Vincent,

where the hell

are you goin'?"

That's when it hits me.

I'm comin' to see you.

You drove all that way

just to see me?

Hey, only four days and,

what, 18 speeding tickets?

But it's okay.

I got my own

business now. Here.

I got four of 'em.

Four stretch limos.

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh, yeah.

Fully loaded.

The works.

Hey. But, look, I--

You know, I realize

I didn't call or nothin',

so, uh, if you got

some plans, you know--

Uh, well, I was gonna--

[ Sighs ]

I-I have nothin' to do.

I'm just going home.

Maybe we could

do somethin'.

I don't know.

Maybe go play

some miniature golf.

You like golf?

Vinny.

It's late.

Yeah, I know.

All right.

That's all right, you know.

I mean, hey, you know,

I felt like takin' a drive

anyway, you know, uh--

I mean,

it's New Year's Eve,

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