Cemetery Man Page #3

get mixed up in the stomach, in the end.

What is it?

That wasn't a cat!

We can't! I'm alive,

and you are dead.

I'm not prejudiced, my love.

I killed her!

Gna!

I killed her!

I killed her.

The first time, when her husband

bit her, she wasn't really dead.

When she woke up, and I

shot her, she was alive.

I killed her.

I killed the only woman I ever loved.

I shot her with my eyes closed,

didn't aim for the head.

That's why she came back.

God, what an idiot!

Now, I'm infected too.

Will I be a Returner when I die?

Who knows if Gnaghi...

No, poor Gnaghi, he'd

never have the guts

to crush my skull with a shovel.

I'm not dead, you idiot!

A bite can't kill you!

Good morning, engineer!

Miss Chiaromondo, I'm not an engineer.

Are you, or are you not

the watchman of the cemetery?

Well, of course I am.

You are therefore an engineer. By the way,

which of these do you think

would be better on my tombstone?

Both.

I like the opinion of

a handsome young man.

Good-bye, engineer.

- Gna!

- Good morning, cutie.

But that's the phone book.

Are you crazy?

That is my favourite reading!

Gnaghi, just because

we've got the new ones

doesn't mean to say we have to throw the

old ones away. These books are classics!

Gnaghi!

Gna!

Stop killing the dead.

They're mine.

If you don't want the

dead coming back to life...

why don't you just kill the living,

shoot them in the head?

Are you listening to me?

- Hello?

- Greetings from the Tomb oft the Town Hall.

- Franco! How are you?

- Bored.

Am I disturbing you?

No, you never disturb me.

Just called to talk about the scandal.

- Gnaghi, the door!

- All that crap.

What did you say?

What the hell was that?

Nothing, I'm...

- ...just working.

- What?

You know, daily grind.

Nothing but the daily grind.

You're telling me! Sometimes,

I feel like shooting myself.

How's everything in your life?

How are dear Mara and Cinzia?

You know, sometimes I wonder

if they really exist, Franco.

I mean, you do have a wife

and a daughter, don't you?

I only ask 'cause... sometimes

I think you've made it all up.

Franco, you do make me laugh!

You'll get out one day.

Buffalora will be

nothing but a bad, bad memory.

Yeah, or maybe not, if

only I could get unstuck...

I feel like a fly on fly paper.

You'll see, Franco...

Mara is going to get tired of you,

and Cinzia will grow up to hate you.

Then you'll be free.

Free to see what the rest

of the world looks like.

What do you think the rest

of the world looks like?

- The rest of the world?

- Uh-uh.

Who knows if the rest of

the world even exists...

Look who it is!

Hey, Dellamorte, come here!

At times, I get ahead of my work.

Work!

Dellamorte!

Dellamorte!

Gnaghi!

Francesco Dellamorte?

Where were you between

In bed.

Any witnesses?

I was talking to my friend Franco

on the telephone and I fell asleep.

Why, what happened?

Some f***ing maniac

killed 7 people in town.

More work.

Well, you got to go to jail,

unless you have an alibi!

Why me?

Because your car was seen driving

around the streets last night, that's why.

That's impossible, no one

can drive that wreck apart from me.

Actually, I don't think it was you.

I think it was your assistant.

Gnaghi can't even roller-skate!

Neither can I, so what?

I want to question him immediately.

God, the weather's gone bad.

Please,

let me talk to him first.

Just tell him to come

right out, will you?

Don't you ever clean that

place? Jesus Christ, it stinks!

# When all is sad, when you're

alone, it feels so bad.

# You wait again for love to start,

to feel the beating of the heart. #

Gnaghi!

Gnaghi, I had a terrible dream last night,

I dreamt I went to town

and killed 7 real people.

Hi, remember me?

Dellamorte, you've

got important visitors!

You'll understand, engineer, after this massacre,

the voters are furious with me.

They've been voting

for you for 15 years.

If I don't find this maniac, Straniero,

there won't be a sixteenth.

What's your daughter got to do with it?

Now that the whole town is in mourning,

I want to show them

that I'm grieving as well.

I'll have some pictures

taken of the body

and put a blow-up on

my election posters.

And underneath, something like:

"if you've had a death in the family,

vote for someone who suffers like you."

What do you think?

Well, you know, it's a thought!

Or:
"Vote

for a man who has lost

all other happiness."

Ready to shoot?

So what do I do? Take

one from the neck down?

Engineer?

What's the meaning of this?

Daddy!

Daddykin!

Did you hear that?

I don't know. It depends...

Daddypie!

Daddypooh!

Valentina!

Pumpkin!

The plot thickens!

Pumpkin, where are you?

Where are you?

Your Daddy's here!

Where are you?

Stop blabbering and come on in!

Coming.

Here I am, little one.

Jesus, it stinks in here!

It's my fault, daddy!

Oh my God, Valentina!

What are you doing on TV?

I'm rotting fast, Daddy!

You, stuttering monster,

you're the one who hurt my little girl!

No, he loves me!

Step aside!

I command you, as your Mayor!

With your consent, I'd

like to marry Gnaghi.

- This horrible thing?

- Gna!

I'm not such a great

catch either, Daddy.

Not as long, dear, as I've

got a breath in my body!

Alright. We'll fix that right away!

Help me, engineer!

I'm not an engineer!

I'm sorry Gnaghi,

she really was beginning to...

go off a bit on that, wasn't she?

He's dead?

He's dead.

Who took a bite out of his neck?

Well, not me or Gnaghi,

Take a mould of our teeth.

You'll see they won't match.

And who did it?

Oh, relax Straniero. This won't be

your first unsolved case, will it?

Hold it!

Oh, come on, Gnaghi...

The world's full of girls like

that, and they've got bodies, too.

By the way,

do you know what my

mother's maiden name was?

You'd never believe it if I told you.

She was called Dellamore.

Dellamore.

That means "love"...

You're not the only person in the

world who's lost a lover, Gnaghi.

Get down!

What do you think? Get down from there!

Forget it, engineer!

Go home!

You're supposed to be

setting a good example,

now will you get back to

your coffin immediately!

You can't stop me,

you owe your job to me.

- Remember?

- Get down or I'll shoot.

You can't.

I'm the Mayor!

Ex!

- Mr. Dellamorte?

- What?

I'm Civardi, the new Mayor.

Why the barbed wire?

Do they climb in at night?

No, they climb out, sometimes.

Would you mind coming down?

You reported an epidemic

which affects the dead.

You claim they come to life

within seven days of burial.

- It says so, right here.

- An M3 report.

- Didnt you fill it out?

- No.

Oh, splendid.

So you'll provide us with a denial.

Just sign here.

Franco must have sent it.

What a nice thought.

Nothing happened.

Nothing ever happens.

If the press got hold

of something like this,

not only would Buffalora

be a laughing stock,

but you'd lose your job.

My personal secretary.

- Mr. Dellamorte.

- A pleasure.

A real pleasure, Mr. Dellamorte.

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