Chaos Theory Page #4

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Uh, four or five days.

Now, for the fun part.

- Bye, sweetie. See you later.

- Bye.

Uh, what's he doing here?

Picking Jesse up.

You're letting him see Jesse?

He's still her father.

Oh. Look at that.

Big kiss, please. Okay. Ah.

Daddy, when are you coming home?

Hopefully in a few days, sweetie.

How's Mommy? Did she get

any of the messages I left?

She called you a moral slob.

Well, you know Mommy.

Sometimes she gets upset

for no good reason at all.

- Like cleaning my room?

- Exactly.

She gets awfully mad

when I don't clean my room.

It's just like cleaning your room.

So we're both slobs.

I guess so. Yeah.

- Does that make me a bigamist too?

- Oh.

Mommy.

What the hell is that?

I'm calling him Abigail.

Unbelievable. He's dressed you

as a princess, and bought you vermin.

He's the best daddy ever!

Please.

As far as your question of paternity goes,

Mr. Allen...

...the tests prove 100 percent,

without a fraction of doubt...

...that it is not your child.

Yes! Proof! Proof.

Yes, well, I checked the results twice.

There's no question about it.

You saved my life here.

I'm just really excited.

I was expecting some kind of completely

ambiguous statistic here...

...so this is, ahh.

Uh, no, it's actually quite simple.

You have an extra X-chromosome.

- No joke?

- Yeah.

What is that?

Well, it's a condition called

Klinefelter's Syndrome.

Don't worry, it's harmless. Most men

don't even know they have it...

...except for one of its manifestations.

In what? What manifestation?

Sterility.

- Excuse me?

- You've been sterile since birth.

I don't understand. Uh...

It is impossible for you to have children.

Uh...

You got the wrong guy, doc, because

I have a little girl at home, and that...

I'm sorry.

Okay, something's wrong here.

I'm gonna sit down and just...

Um, you have the wrong label,

or wrong test.

I mean, this is a hospital.

These things happen here all the time.

l... I'm sorry to drop this on you.

I know this isn't easy to accept.

Hey.

Come on, I'm a father. I have a little girl.

A 7-year-old girl. Jesse.

Unlike humans, chromosomes can't betray,

deceive, or willfully lie.

The truth is all they state.

Um...

But, Jesse. I have a... A little girl.

I will, of course, take another sample,

but I've run the test twice.

I'm afraid, Mr. Allen,

there's been no mistake.

It's all been a lie, hasn't it?

- You tell me.

- I know.

Oh, yeah? Well, I know, too!

Hi, Daddy.

Go to your room, sweetie.

Daddy and I need to talk, okay?

Uh, excuse me?

I'm willing to bet ten bucks

that you're naked under those clothes.

Why don't you join me for a drink?

Hey, buddy?

I think you're sitting in my seat.

I wanna sit next to the pretty girl here,

hmm?

Hey, pinhead, I'm talking to you.

You're in my seat.

You work the ferry?

Yeah, so? Move your ass.

If you'd let me on,

I wouldn't have been late.

I wouldn't have been so mad at Susan.

I wouldn't have been so stupid.

I wouldn't know the things

that I know today.

Do I know you or something?

What time is it now?

What?

What time is it now?

- Screw you.

- What time is it?

You want a piece of me, a**hole?

Let's take it outside.

That felt good.

Thank you for doing that.

- What is your name?

- Tracy.

We're gonna be late again. Get your bag,

sweetie. I'll be in the car, okay?

- Can I help you?

- Does Frank live here?

He's not home.

I'm his wife.

Oh. Hi. I'm Nancy.

I wanted to thank him.

For what?

All his help.

Is that Frank's baby?

Oh, no.

Frank, it's me. Why won't you call

me back? We need to talk. Please?

Call me.

Flat out on the floor. Then he

gets so scared he takes off on his Harley...

Shh!

- Uh, ahem.

- What's going on?

- Um...

Um...

Let's, um, talk outside.

Yeah.

There are some rumors about Frank.

Crazy stuff.

Tom has a cousin who said his best friend

was at the River Shore Bar...

...when your husband got into a fight

and shredded this big bruiser.

- Frank?

- Yes. And he bought a bitchen Harley.

No, that's not Frank. That's just

not possible. Somebody's confused.

No. John's son works at the shop.

Frank bought a Harley. A red one.

- A red Harley?

- Yes.

Without me?

Frank?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'll leave a note.

- I need to talk to you.

- Oh, yeah?

I found this in his hotel room.

I'm worried.

It's very succinct.

I met the mother.

She says it's not Frank's baby.

Well, that's great.

You can take Frank back.

There was still a woman in his hotel room.

Come on, give the boy a break.

I mean, we all have urges.

- You never look at the pool boy?

- We don't own a pool.

You don't need a pool for a pool boy.

It's different.

I never thought of Frank as duplicitous.

- It's not Frank-ish.

- No, it's not.

It's not really his style.

Buddy, stop it. I'm not this wanton

creature you got floating around...

...in your sleazy little brain.

- Really?

I've had three men my whole life, okay?

And this isn't about me, and it's damn sure

not about you. It's about Frank.

Hey, come on.

You know I'll do anything for Frank.

Then find him and make sure

he doesn't do anything dumb.

Hey. It's open.

Hey.

- Hey.

- Are you trying to kill yourself?

Well, obviously,

but I think it's gonna take a little while.

Ha, ha. Good,

because I bring happy news.

Susan will take you back.

A little begging may be required.

What I do is send red roses

every day for a week.

By day five of the big red, she'll forgive

you three hookers and a missed birthday.

I'm not going back.

- I had a pretty major revelation, Buddy.

- What?

All the decisions I've made in my life

have been wrong.

- Everybody feels that way, come on.

- No, it's true.

I've always been so goddamn careful

about every choice that I've made...

...and what the hell has it gotten me?

Nothing.

So, instead I look around here...

...and I write lists of everything

that I really wanna do...

...and then I just randomly pick

between them. It's beautiful.

Frank, did you hear me?

Susan will take you back.

What are you doing?

- There's no choice to be made.

- Exactly. This is what I'm talking about.

Whim. Chance.

I've decided to never decide

another thing again.

Hockey.

And so it is.

Frank, maybe I didn't

make myself perfectly clear.

I really think she'll take you back.

Hey, she loves you, you know?

And you obviously can't live without her.

That's not true.

I'm walking on sunshine out here, man.

When you look at me, you look at

a creature of freedom. A man released.

Any chance this "creature of freedom"

is really a monster of depression?

No.

Look, what you need, and I say this

as your best friend, is a vacation.

A bit of sun, a bit of relaxation,

and a huge chunk of Prozac.

- I like that.

- Yeah?

I like that idea. Watch this.

Okay.

"Prozac."

"Streak ice." Ooh.

- And "become Slayers fan."

- What are you doing?

I'm gonna pick one.

I'm gonna abide by the choice.

- You know what that makes me?

- A flake?

- Free.

- That's bullshit.

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