ChickLit Page #4
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2016
- 96 min
- 47 Views
a student.
The glorious frisson
of danger from all fronts.
It's the school gym
in the dead of night.
It would not only have me fired,
but probably arrested.
Picture it, the whisper
of forbidden passion.
The clamor of racing heartbeats,
- the roar of...
- David, how many of these books have you read?
I'm so sorry.
Isn't it making her
a student a bit iffy?
Yeah, yeah.
What if she's a journalist
sent to interview
the headmaster?
Who becomes his sex slave.
Oh, brilliant, Marcus,
you're a natural.
Gentlemen, shall we do this?
- Well, I'm... I'm still...
- Of course, you are.
But just think,
where will we play dominoes
if they close this place?
Come on.
All right, but T. Think we
should all do our own thing
rather than try
and be too unified.
From what I've read, there
won't be a problem of style.
Indeed not.
But there are rules
to be obeyed.
He must have a tragic past,
thus legitimizing
his present behavior.
She must use
a pet phrase ad nauseam.
Something like, "oh, wow,"
to reflect a constant
quivering excitement.
And we must continually marvel at
their ability to mate at will,
like a couple
of frenzied rabbits.
And in purely practical
terms, no e-mails.
Only hard copies.
[Moans]
Sorry.
Or memory sticks.
Nobody must know about this.
Thank you.
Now, Marcus, is my book ready?
Yes, it is.
- What are you doing?
- Bag.
Red, please.
There you are.
- Ah.
- Would you like a crisp potato?
Oh, no, thanks.
I don't want...
- Have a crisp.
- I don't want to.
Have a crisp.
Hello, Andrew.
Just that one.
Sold a dickens on ebay.
[Murmurs]
[Answering machine] Mr. rose, this
is Matilda, from Bonar and law.
Confirming your meeting
with miss law this Thursday.
You won't be late, will you?
[Woman]
Who is it?
David rose.
Ah, David rose. I have an
appointment with Peggy law.
Oh, dear.
I'll see if she's ready.
[Woman]
What?
Mr. rose to see you.
[Woman] Well, send him in.
I haven't got all day.
Sh e has, actually.
Good luck.
Well, sit down, Mr. rose.
I can give you five minutes.
[David] That's all I
need, miss law.
I'm only seeing you because
my colleague tells me
that you interviewed him once on
some horrid little provincial rag.
And were nice to him,
which he's not used to.
He's very interesting.
No, he's not,
but he has his uses.
Now, what have you written?
I'm not the author.
I'm acting on behalf
of a young lady I know,
- who's very shy.
- Why?
Well, the content
of the book is,
shall we say,
a little contentious.
Politics, personal, or porn?
Porn, mummy, porn to be precise.
Is this girl a mummy?
No, but she's writing
for a market of mummies.
It's really quite
a big demographic.
Mmm, I know all about
how big it is.
What I don't know is why
women demean themselves
by reading such tripe.
I'm not sure I do, to be honest.
But, I said I'd help her,
and I thought Bonar and law
would be a good place to start,
if you get my meaning.
Generally it's only the yanks
who makes fools of themselves
with the "boner" joke.
Yes, sorry.
Anyway, would you be prepared
to read the book?
- What's the title?
- "Love let her."
- Love letter?
- No, "love let her"... allowed her.
Oh, dear, god.
A witty title.
Absolutely.
I meant that sarcastically.
All right, I'll read it. Leave
your details with Matilda,
and maybe you'll hear
from us in due course.
Any idea when?
A little nugget
of advice, Mr. rose.
In the literary, indeed, the
entire entertainment business,
the answer to a question
like that is no.
Communication of any kind
is frowned upon.
Answering emails is considered
a sign of weakness.
Indeed, the default position on any
kind of commitment whatsoever,
is some other time.
You know, you're a very
lucky fellow,
because statistically
the chances of your getting
a text on your way to see me
canceling this meeting,
was about 70%.
- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.
Now, you don't live
in London, do you?
Quite a lot of people don't,
as it happens.
Silly me, of course they don't.
It must be very nice for you.
It is.
Where have you been?
- The show's about to start.
- Sorry, love, I got held up.
Well, did you meet your chum?
Chum? Oh, yes, yes,
he was on great form.
Good old, Robbie.
Exactly.
- What a legend.
- Thank you so much.
We're left alone.
All alone.
We have to start over.
Begin life all over again.
- We have to live.
- [Music playing]
We have to live.
We have to live, live, live,
live, live, live, live.
- We have to work.
- We have to live...
Live, live, live.
We have to work,
- we have to work. Work, work, work, work...
- Live, live, live, live...
- We have to die.
- Live, live, live, live...
- We have to die.
- Work, work, work...
- We have to die...
- Live, live, live...
- Live, live, live...
- Die, die, die...
Ta-ra-ra boom-De-ay,
ta-ra-ra boom-De-ay.
Ta-ra-ra boom-De-ay,
ta-ra-ra boom-De-ay...
- We have to know.
- Ta-ra-ra boom-De-ay...
- We have to know.
- Ta-ra-ra boom-De-ay...
- We have to know, know, know...
- Ta-ra-ra boom-De-ay...
- Know, know, know, know...
- Ta-ra-ra boom-De-ay...
- Know, know, know, know, know!
- Ta-ra-ra boom-De-ay.
[Scattered applause]
Well, that really doesn't
take the biscuit.
My talented baby sister.
Yes, very good.
Well, done, Sarah.
- Oh, well done.
- Did you like the concept?
Very original.
Very, um... I particularly
liked "Chebutykin"
in the wheelchair.
That was a very good...
Wasn't she marvelous?
- Yes.
- And so were you.
Oh, stop it.
Thank you.
What can I get you
to drink, Sarah?
A beer, please.
He didn't like it, did he?
Well, I think he was
rather intrigued.
- And you?
- Yes, and I was, too.
Although, I have to be honest.
I'm not sure about Natasha
being transsexual.
And I seem to recall
there were children
in the original one.
Well, Chekhov refers
to lots of unseen characters.
We decided if you
don't see them,
- they don't exist.
- Oh, right.
Here you are. All very
novel and interesting.
So, I take it
you're not being paid.
- We're on a profit share.
- Oh, so you're not being paid.
Shh.
Well, possibly.
But you know what, David,
I would sooner be doing
something worthwhile than...
Well, than earning millions
writing sh*t like this.
I'm with you there.
Now don't you start, Zoe.
It's bad enough having evelyn
waugh here moaning at me.
I do have other interests,
you know.
I've come to your show,
haven't I?
Of course.
- And I really appreciate it.
- Mmm.
The ladyboy Natasha
was a crap idea.
It wasn't very good.
[Jen]
They all worked very hard.
[David]
Too hard in the first act.
I could have done without
seeing Natasha's bits
- in such graphic detail.
- Yes.
Zoe did explain to me
about the tranny thing,
but it did rather
go over my head.
When the dress
went over her/his head,
- they could have kept his pants on.
- Yes.
And then "tie me up
and tenderize me"?
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