Chris Tucker Live Page #4

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Michael changed my name.

I didn't even say nothing.

He started calling me

"Christmas" and sh*t.

First, I didn't know

who he was talking about.

I didn't know who he was talking to.

He was like, "Hey, Christmas."

"Who's Michael talking to?"

Michael, "I'm talking to you, Chris.

I'm talking to you.

Your name sounds like Christmas.

It's beautiful, Chris.

Reminds me of Christmas.

Christmas trees,

presents,

fireplaces...

It's beautiful, Chris.

You should keep it, Chris."

He convinced me.

I'm like, "Do sound kind of good.

Christmas Tucker.

Okay, Christmas Tucker.

Sounds pretty good.

We'll keep it for a little while."

Went up to Neverland.

Michael had it cold. Michael had it cold.

But Neverland was really, like, Neverland.

You go there,

Michael had big golden gates.

You go through the gates,

the music come on, everybody's...

[vocalizing]

I'm like, "God damn!

This really is Neverland.

I don't never, ever wanna leave. Sh*t."

It be fly, too. Michael had us

ride on a little train to the house.

"This is some sh*t, right here.

Michael got a train in his house."

We get to the house.

Man, Michael be sitting there,

cold-blooded, like Michael Corleone.

He'd be sitting in the living room.

His people get your bags.

You ain't gotta worry about that.

Michael be saying,

"How are you? How are you doing?"

We'd be sitting there talking, all of a

sudden something magical would happen.

Like, two giraffes

just walk by the window.

Like, "What the f*** was that?

Michael, was that two giraffes

just walked by the window?"

"No, it was three.

It was three giraffes, Chris.

It was three."

"Michael, that was fly as hell!"

"I know, I know. That's why I bought 'em.

That's why I bought 'em."

"There ain't no more animals

free like that is there, man?"

"Couple of elephants, one lion.

We can't find that lion."

"What? What? What the f***?"

"It won't bite you, Chris."

"It won't bite you, Michael.

That lion don't know me.

Better find that damn lion."

Michael was cool, man.

We'd hang out with Michael.

Michael liked rap.

He liked that 50 Cent song, "In Da Club."

He liked the beat,

so he'd be jamming to the beat.

We'd be riding in the car,

Michael'd just be jamming to the beat.

He'd be like...

[beatboxing]

Michael'd be getting down.

He'd just play it back...

[continues beatboxing]

All of a sudden, you know...

It's cool till he starts

singing the words.

That's when it sound crazy.

He's like,

You see me in the club

With a bottle full of bub...

"Michael, Michael, no! Michael, no!

Don't sing the words."

"Chris, I love that song, Chris.

I love that beat. I love it, Chris.

That is a cold-blooded beat.

I love that beat.

Of course I wouldn't go in the club

with a bottle full of bub, Chris.

I wouldn't do that.

But I love that song, Chris."

-"That didn't sound right, Mike."

-"I know, but I love it."

He liked Rick Ross, too. He loved--

Sometimes he'd be...

Just going around places... [grunts]

He'd be doing a song going... [grunts]

I'd be like,

"What the hell was that?"

I said, "Michael, was that you?"

"No, no."

-"Did you hear that?"

-"I didn't hear nothing.

I don't know what that was.

I thought you did it.

I don't know who did it."

One time, I caught him.

He's all... [grunts]

I said, "Michael, I saw you.

I knew it was you!"

"I'm sorry, Chris, I love Rick Ross.

I love him.

I love Maybach Music.

I love... They're so cool.

He's so crazy.

[grunts] I love that.

He's so free.

I wanna do that on my album.

-[grunts]

-[audience laughing]

He's so crazy.

So silly. [grunts]

Crazy guy."

I said, "Michael!"

One time I did something

real cool with Michael, though.

I went over Barry Gibb's house

from the Bee Gees.

You know Barry Gibb.

I was like, "Damn, this is fly."

We was watching the Oscars at

Barry Gibb's house of the Bee Gees.

And we were sitting there

and all and hanging out and stuff.

And I said, "God damn, I'm sitting here

with Barry Gibb and Michael Jackson."

And all of a sudden

both of 'em start singing.

They were singing

"How Deep is Your Love."

I said, "God damn!

This is Michael Jackson and

Barry Gibb singing right in front of me.

Ain't nobody gonna believe this sh*t."

There was just me and a dog looking.

The dog even seemed surprised.

[mimics dog] "God damn, this sh*t is fly!

Sh*t, what is this?"

-I said, "Do you see this sh*t?"

-"Yeah, I see the sh*t.

Michael Jackson, Barry Gibb, sure."

So they start singing.

Michael starts singing first.

Man, I never heard him

sing live before. He was like...

How deep is your love?

How deep is your love?

I really need to know

'Cause we're living

in a world of fools

Breaking us down

And we all should let it be

And the world should be...

And then Barry came in.

I believe in you

[singing gibberish]

And then I got caught up and came in.

Come to you on a summer breeze

And you know

I can stay and you know it

And Michael's like,

"Chris, no. Chris, no."

[audience laughing and applauding]

"Chris!

Chris... No, Chris.

What are you doing, Chris?

Barry, I'm sorry, Barry.

Chris!"

I said, "Michael, I'm sorry,

I got caught up."

"No, Chris, no. Stick with the jokes.

Chris, no. What are you doing?"

I said, "Sorry, Mike,

I got caught up, man.

-It sounds so good."

-"No, Chris, no!

You said you wouldn't say nothing, Chris.

Barry, I'm sorry.

Chris, what's wrong with you? No.

I'm sorry, Barry. I'm sorry.

Chris, what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Michael, it was just

sounding so good, I thought I--"

"No, Chris, no.

Chris, go to the car,

Chris, go to the car."

"Michael, man, I won't say nothing else."

"I know you won't

say anything else, Chris.

Go. Beat it, Chris.

Beat it, Chris."

"Mike, I'm sorry, man. I--"

"Chris, go, go,

I told you not to--

You always want to be starting something.

Go, just go. Go.

I don't wanna hear it, Chris."

[giggles]

Michael the man, man.

Michael performed live, man,

Michael was incredible, man.

Michael'd do some...

Michael'll go out there and do...

[vocalizes]

He'd be talking to your girl,

you don't even say nothing.

You don't even say nothing.

You'd be like,

"You take her, Mike. Go! Go take her.

I got to come with you though, Mike."

[giggles]

Michael be coming to sing, going,

Lookin' out across the night sky

The city winks a sleepless eye

Get you alone

Shake my window

It's such an amusing sight

When we say why, why

Tell 'em that it's human nature

Why, why does he do me that way?

-Give yourselves a round of applause.

-[audience applauding]

Ooh, yeah

Thank y'all for supporting

and coming out here.

Y'all got to stop messaging me

about this Friday stuff.

God damn, y'all.

Thank you for supporting me in the movie.

Everybody want to see me

do another Friday.

I go through the airport, and the security

people just stop me just to ask me that.

"Oh, I got to do a check here.

Hey, man, you gonna do another Friday?

Turn around, man.

Turn around. Come on, man.

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