Christmas in July Page #4

have the afternoon off...

...while we get your office ready?

I'd certainly appreciate it, Mr. Baxter.

Can she come along too?

- Why of course she can.

And a little bird tells me what kind of store

you're going to be visiting first.

A little jewellery store, I'll wager, eh?

I guess you're not far wrong.

But first I think I'll go to Maxford House

and pick up that cheque.

Oh, yes. We'd almost forgotten about that,

hadn't we?

Almost but not quite.

What was your Maxford House

slogan again?

'It isn't the bunk, it's the coffee.'

No, no.'It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk. '

Isn't that marvelous?

'If you don't sleep at night it isn't the, uh...'

Yes, but, 'It's bred in the bean.'

That's the one for my money.

- Functional.

Precisely.

- Well, Mr. Baxter, I thank you.

I don't know what to say.

Thank you, Mr. Jenkins.

It'll be a pleasure working with you.

Thank you, Mr. Waterbury,

and thank you, Mr. Babcock,

and thank you, Miss Pettypass and...

And how.

Well, goodbye.

- Goodbye.

Bye.

- Goodbye.

A big future.

- (Man) Immense.

I've had my eye on him for some time.

- (Man) Huh?

Look, kid...

- What?

Can I talk to you? It's important.

Can you tell me tomorrow? I've got to go

to the Maxford House and get my cheque.

That's what I want to talk about.

Harry and Dick and I... Well...

Well, what?

- It's like this. You see, we...

...(Baxter) Oh, MacDonald.

- Yes, sir?

Was that 'It's bred in the bean,'

or just plain 'Bred in the bean'?

'It's.' Just 'Bred in the bean' might

sound like bread, like bread and butter.

Naturally. I don't know why I didn't realize.

- Is that all, sir?

Yes. Have a nice time and

don't spend all your money in one place.

Thank you, sir. Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

Great mind.

Did you wish to speak to me, Darcy?

Who, me? Oh, no, sir.

I was just watching them go out.

Well, it's been quite an exciting day,

hasn't it?

(Laughs)

Yeah, and it ain't even over yet.

I said, 'You can stay here

till Hoboken freezes over.'

I should have fired all of them.

- I was mortified.

The biggest moment in commercial annals

muffed by a gang of horse whistlers...

...who wouldn't know a slogan

from a poke in the eye with a stick.

I thought I'd die of embarrassment.

- I wish they'd died of lockjaw.

What good are these contests, anyway?

They disrupt the entire organization,

they make you millions of enemies,

and all they prove

is that you're making too much money,

since you can afford

to toss it to some saphead...

...who probably never had...

...a cup of your coffee

but lives on goats' milk.

Have they reached a verdict yet?

- I don't know or care.

If they hold off until our next broadcast...

No, no.

That would be the intelligent thing to do.

That would be useful to the company

that clothes and feeds them...

...and sends their children to college

so they can be dumbbells like their parents.

(Buzzer)...

What do you want?

- (Woman) The contest winner is here....

The contest winner?

- Yes, sir.

How do you like that? First they bottle up

the biggest scoop of the year,

then when they get good and ready they...

All right, send him in.

You can go in now.

- Thanks.

I guess I'd better wait here.

- Come on in.

No, maybe you had better wait here.

We're a little excited.

You would be. Congratulations.

- Thanks. I mean, for him.

For both of us.

Well...

Of all the confounded...

- (Knocking)

Come in.

How do you do? I suppose I have the honor

of addressing Dr. Maxford, I presume?

Right. And this is Don Hartman,

my announcer.

Well, Mr. Hartman,

it certainly is a pleasure to meet you.

I've enjoyed your personality on the air.

Congratulations to you.

- Thank you.

Here's the telegram,

Mr. Maxford... Dr. Maxford.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yes.'Great pleasure in informing you...

$25,000.

'Kindly call and pick up your cheque.'

Bildocker has a great sense of the dramatic.

You aren't by any chance a coffee drinker,

are you?

Yes, I certainly am.

- That's surprising.

Do you, by any chance, drink my coffee?

No, sir, you see, I...

- Yes, that sounds more natural.

But I could easily change.

- That won't be necessary.

I wouldn't want anybody to think

I had any base commercial motives.

I just give money away

because I can't sleep at night.

I have a guilty conscience.

- That's my slogan. The one I won with.

I guess you know all about that.

- A guilty conscience, eh?

I can see that my money is well spent.

That's a great slogan.

No, sir.'If you can't sleep at night,

it isn't the coffee, it's the bunk.'

I beg your pardon?

- It's a pun.

It certainly is. It's great.

- Thank you.

I can hardly wait to give you my money.

Bring me that contest cheque.

I don't know if you've ever had

anything like this happen to you,

but to be poor and unknown one minute

and on top of the world the next,

that's a feeling nobody can take from me.

Well, I...

- To know I won this contest...

...because I thought up the best slogan

means more to me that anything on earth.

I'll tell you why.

- If you...

I used to think maybe I had good ideas

and was gonna get somewhere,

but now I know it, and that's what I want

to thank you for, more than the money.

Did you want the $25,000 one?

- That's right.

When they choose a winner?

- They didn't bother to inform me.

James MacDonald. Is that Mac or Mc?

It's Mac, sir.

My, uh... My grandmother was Scottish.

Mine was Lithuanian.

Here you are, young man.

It is customary under these circumstances

to have photographers present,

a couple of reporters and even newsreels

and broadcasting machinery.

But since we do everything here

on a very high, non-commercial plain,

I merely take pleasure in giving you

this small cheque, Mr. MacDonald.

That's all there is to it.

- Thank you, Dr. Maxford.

I don't know how I can find words...

- Never mind about them.

Just goodbye and good luck.

Oh, boy.

Now get me Bildocker.

- (Man) Yes, sir.

Oh, gee.

She's a little bit excited.

- Yes.

He's as cool as ice.

Well, goodbye.

- Goodbye.

Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

Goodbye.

(Buzzer)...

Yes?

- (Man) Mr. Bildocker isn't in his office.

Well, why not? Where is he?

Down in the lobby playing marble games?

Find him and tell him...

Never mind. I'll tell him myself.

'It isn't the coffee, it's the bunk'.

(Betty) Oh, isn't it beautiful, Jimmy?

Holy smoke, I should say it is.

- This is a trifle on the large side.

Now, here is a stone

of more practical dimensions.

Fiery little devil, isn't it?

Does the magnifying glass go with it?

It's up to you.

I was only trying to be helpful, that's all.

It's immaterial to me

how big a ring you... look at.

Now how about... Just a minute.

Fresh guy.

What do you think of this, for instance?

How much is it?

- $12,000.

I wouldn't care to spend that much.

- You wouldn't?

No. But I could if I felt like it.

- You could?

Oh. Well, that puts everything

on an entirely different basis.

Let me see.

- I'm in love with this one.

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