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with your family, sweetie.

I know, I just gotta build

an entire model tonight.

- I'm the leader!

- No, I'm the leader!

Go say hi to Daddy. Go on.

I can't take a whole night of this.

- And I'm not going to.

- Q, R, S, T, U...

Cool.

I can skip chapters.

What a family.

All right, let's get dinner

over with. Next.

Next.

Everyone's done but you, buddy.

Let's go.

Will you stop already?

Oh, boy, Dad's quarter trick.

I can't wait not to see it.

Alone in my basement at last.

Should I do my work

and become partner now? I think so.

Let's get to it.

- Michael?

- Yo.

We don't wanna interrupt.

We're taking off.

Thanks for a great night.

You had a fun time

hanging out with me?

That was... We did good, right?

- Good night, honey.

- Love you.

My schmeckel got bigger now that

I'm older, just so you guys know that.

It couldn't have gotten any smaller.

Yeah, yeah.

It looked like a little Tic Tac.

Yeah, come here,

I'll freshen your breath.

- Bye, you guys.

- Bye, sweetie.

Good night, sweetie.

Great dinner, honey.

See? Was that so bad?

Kidding me? I had fun.

Good for you. Can you watch the gang

for 10 minutes while I clean up?

Can't you? I just...

I got so much stuff to do here.

Oh, you got stuff to do?

I got ghost stories, charades,

the dishes...

...and then I gotta sew the duck's head

back on for Sundance...

...and fix his butthole.

Way to go, champ.

I wish I had time to do all that stuff.

Give me a break, Michael.

You're a big boy.

You set your own priorities.

I'm asking for 10 minutes,

not for, like, a whole day.

You don't have to do that much.

How big a deal is that?

I am so tired of having this argument.

I skipped the whole fight.

Babe?

- I can't sleep.

- You can't?

I feel bad that we keep arguing.

I know. Don't be upset, okay?

- I was a jerk.

- You are a jerk.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

- Yes. That smells good.

- What?

Michael. Stop it.

The sleepover will catch us.

They ain't gonna hear us. Come on.

Okay. Quietly try

and coax me into it.

I gotta get back to work.

Can't we just do it?

No, we can't just do it.

Honey, come on.

I mean, I don't have any new moves

for you. It's the same stuff.

Just think of last time and use that.

I like the old moves. Come on.

All right.

This time you be Sundance,

I'll be the duck.

- Yeah?

- But you gotta massage me first.

Great, I love giving massages.

Massaging away here.

Oh, that feels good.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- We did it?

- Well, you did.

I didn't want the whole thing

to go that fast.

I don't think anybody did.

Yeah. I'll get you next time.

Thanks.

So we good for tomorrow?

What are you talking about?

At dinner.

You said we'd go to lunch tomorrow

and pick out your dad's birthday gift.

Dad's gift is...

- Of course. I said so, so I'll be there.

- Okay.

- Need another massage or anything?

- Oh, go away.

I gotta go work.

Hey, Morty. It's Michael Newman.

Yeah, can I talk to you for a minute?

Hang on for a second,

someone's at my door.

- Hello, Michael.

- Where'd you come from?

You don't wanna know.

- Can we take a walk?

- Sure.

It's simple. You must

have been on autopilot.

Autopilot?

That's what happens to you

when you fast-forward.

- Okay.

- Yeah. I'll show you.

Here.

See? That's you on autopilot.

The lights are on

but nobody's home.

The remote lets your mind

skip around...

...but your body actually stays put

for the boring stuff.

We should go to lunch tomorrow

and pick out your dad's birthday gift.

Sounds good.

So she did tell me.

I'm having conversations

on autopilot, then.

You're not gonna be

the life of the party, but yes.

Everyone goes on autopilot

now and then.

The big difference

is now you've got a nifty remote...

...to help you decide when.

This thing is the best.

By the way, your wife?

Absolutely gorgeous.

- She is, isn't she?

- Perfect face. Tight, rocking body.

You okay?

- Amazing.

- What is?

She fell for a schlub like you.

I'm a schlub?

I don't know about that, pal.

I see a good-looking man right there.

You wanna see what a stud

I used to be? Yeah?

All right, let's take a look

at some of the girls...

...I used to fool around with

before I met Donna.

Is that a man or a woman?

It's a woman.

What is this, Animal Planet?

- Stop.

- Yes.

Sometimes it's better to keep

certain memories just in your head.

So I've learned, Morty.

Good night. Thank you.

Good night, Michael.

I'm getting sick, man.

Fast-forward me till I'm better.

Michael, honey, wake up.

You'll be late for work.

What? It's Monday already?

Are you kidding me?

No more phlegm?

I skipped an entire cold?

Thanks to you, baby! I love you!

No more Tylenol!

I don't remember doing

any work this weekend.

But apparently I did.

- Bad news. There's no hot water.

- What? I gotta take a shower.

Well, you're gonna freeze

your bun-buns off.

It's all good.

Yes! Look at me.

All showered and dressed

and looking sexy.

I like that. L...

Did you smoke crack, Daddy?

Just watch your toons and have

a great day with Mommy today, okay?

Eating cupcakes like your old man.

Right here, baby.

- Dad?

- Yes, sir?

Are you gonna have to work late

again tonight?

- Unfortunately, yes.

- Is there anything we can do to help?

Well, I'm gonna be partner soon, and

I'm gonna need new building designs.

So if you guys have any cool ideas,

draw them up for me.

- Okay.

- Rock 'n' roll.

- I get the paper.

- I got the crayons.

Would you stop talking

and fix the sewer?

You're on it now, yeah. Yeah.

Traffic, traffic, no more traffic.

Wait a sec!

Here we go! Mama!

Yeah! That's what

I'm talking about, baby!

You look a little pale there, pal.

Let me fix that.

Oh, look at you now.

You're all yellow from the scurvy.

Captain.

Don't get the Hulk angry.

You won't like him when he's angry.

Oh, there's Barney.

I love you, you love me

That jogger had giant boobies

Okay. Let's get you that tan

you been searching for.

That's it. That's it.

Check out Julio Iglesias... Pretty.

- Looking good, Mr. Newman.

- Really? Thank you very much, Judy.

- Finish?

- Did I finish? I believe I finished.

- Let's see here. Look at that.

- Very impressive, Michael.

Yeah, the river in the lobby.

This is actually pretty good, man.

Where did you find the time

to get a tan?

- I guess I can do it all, sir.

- You can do it all.

All right, all right, everybody.

It's sexual-harassment-speech day.

Now, anyone can be a victim

of sexual harassment:

Blue collar, white collar,

a woman, a man.

Even the office slut.

Not that I'm mentioning any names...

...Stacy.

Here we go. Sexual harassment

can come in many forms.

You see, what is hilarious to some,

could be offensive to others.

Let me try to give you a real-life

example because I'm sure I've done it.

Like the day I said, "You want

a promotion, break out the lotion."

I was technically engaged

in sexual harassment.

Hilarious sexual harassment,

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