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if you ask me.

Now, there is also

homosexual harassment.

Now, this is like when

one dude comes up to another...

...and says something cheeky.

- This will be good.

Proceed.

I don't know about you Americans...

...but to me there is no doubt...

...lchiro is the greatest of all time.

Yeah, he's incredible.

You gotta admit,

you can always count on Matsui.

Oh, Matsui.

Well, if you guys love Ichiro and

Matsui so much, let's order them both.

I'll eat anything.

- Excuse us for a moment.

- Absolutely, Mr. Watsuhita.

See you guys in a bit.

Ichiro and Matsui are baseball players.

You just insulted their national heroes.

I'm going to the bathroom

to slit my wrists.

I'll be here.

These morons are so boring.

They make me wanna

chop my own dick off.

That hotel design?

I'd like to rip it up.

Egghead watched a bad documentary

on Asian architecture.

Who needs a stupid river

in the lobby?

Let's build more rooms

and maximize profits.

Eat as fast as you can.

Then we can get out of here...

...and do Jell-O shots at America's

greatest cultural achievement:

T.G.I. Friday's.

T.G.I. Friday's!

- All right, Michael, save us.

- I'm all over it, baby.

Before we order, I was looking

at our proposal. You know what?

After getting to know you a little bit,

I realize this is not what you're about.

In fact, let's just throw it out, all right?

Start from scratch.

The river in the lobby idea,

what an egghead move.

Let's just keep the plans simple, forget

all the niceties, maximize our revenue.

That's what it's all about anyways,

the profits.

But do me a favour. Just give us

your account and your trust.

That way we can get the hell out

of this dump, go to T.G.I. Friday's...

...do some Jell-O shots

till this guy pukes up a lung.

F***, yeah.

That's what I'm talking about.

Yes, yes!

The king is home! Hello, hello!

How can you goons sleep

when you know I got you presents?

- You did?

- What is it?

What is it? Well, if you bring

your tushies downstairs, we'll find out.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

Honey, get your sweet little buns

downstairs too. Come on, come on!

Come and get them.

- Awesome! No way!

- Yeah, yeah.

- It must have cost a million dollars!

- That's chump change now.

You guys deserve the best...

...and that's what you're gonna get

from now on, okay?

What's all this?

Look who's here.

You guys wanna ride these bikes?

- Yeah!

- Let's take them outside!

Wake the O'Doyles,

let them see what you got.

These are the coolest bikes

in the whole town.

Kevin O'Doyle's gonna sh*t himself.

- Don't think I forgot my beautiful wife.

- Oh, my gosh.

It's not a bike or a cowboy hat,

but you're gonna like this, I hope.

- Oh, Michael, it's beautiful.

- I heard you talking to my mother.

- I love it!

- You look good, baby.

I got myself a celebratory cigar too.

Why not?

What are we celebrating?

"What are we celebrating?"

We're healthy, we got a great family...

...l'm Ammer's newest partner...

Oh, my God, you're kidding!

Honey, congratulations!

I knew it! I knew you'd be psyched!

I love it! I love you!

I single-handedly landed

the Watsuhita account.

That's incredible.

I knew it was gonna be a great day.

- I heard our song on the radio.

- We have a song?

Honey. The song that was playing

during our first kiss.

Come on. You're kidding me, right?

I know our song. Our song. Of course

I know our song. Our song is...

What the hell was that song?

I remember this place.

And... Oh, my God.

Wolverine's goofy cousin.

But look at you. Wow.

You are out of his league, aren't you?

Oh, yeah, the notes.

Smooth, buddy.

Oh, look at her.

What's gonna happen?

You got an answer to that?

Okay. Seal the deal, pal.

All she's thinking about is,

"I am not kissing that beard.

Absolutely not,

that's gonna hurt me."

Wait a minute.

Yeah, Newman. Get it.

Yeah.

Donna!

Donna. Oh, my God.

I'm so horny now.

Oh, God, I'm not.

Get me out of here.

"Linger" by The Cranberries

was playing during our first juicy kiss.

And, my God, you looked beautiful

in that pink sweater you were wearing.

Honey, you remember

what I was wearing?

Of course. I remember

what Janine was wearing.

She scared the sh*t out of me then.

I love you.

I love you too, honey.

Hi, Mr. Newman.

Right this way, Michael.

Hey, my new star. Congratulations.

Sit down, big guy.

All right.

I am a little tired.

The family was up late

last night celebrating.

You really knocked one out of the park

last night, didn't you?

Hey, you were great too.

All you gotta do is draw up

the construction plans.

If Watsuhita commits

to the bulk of the funds...

...l'm looking at my new partner.

I thought I was already your partner.

Whoa, cowboy.

I said, " Land the Watsuhita account,

you'll get promoted."

- I didn't mean right this second.

- But I already told my wife, sir.

I spent money I don't have.

To do these documents

is gonna take me months.

Then you better get started.

Wow, I just got a big headache!

- Was I hit by a train or something?

- I didn't see anything.

I forgot to tell you. I hung out

with your friend Janine this weekend.

I hope she's doing your brother

right now, you big-headed buffoon.

No, no, no. You got more.

Yeah.

Anyway, the sooner

you get back to work...

...the sooner you'll be partnerized.

- I taste sh*t.

- You do?

Stacy! Did you put sh*t in my lunch?

I'm gonna get going now, sir.

Stacy!

Have you considered

the consequences...

...of the thing

you're thinking about doing?

Yeah. What are you saying,

I shouldn't do it?

It's your life. What you do with

the remote is your decision, Michael.

I know, so, I mean,

we're talking a couple of months here.

I fast-forward through it,

what am I gonna miss?

Thirty arguments and a haircut?

Remember the leprechaun?

The one from the cereal ad.

"They're magically delicious."

That guy?

He's always chasing the pot of gold

at the end of the rainbow.

But when he gets there

at the end of the day...

...it's just corn flakes.

- Michael.

- Yes.

- You don't understand the metaphor?

- I won't do it, all right.

- Dad?

- Yeah.

- We have some designs for you.

- It's not a good time, man.

Maybe they'll help you

finish quicker.

All right. You want me to look at it?

Let me see.

The ceiling's too high,

the hallway's too narrow...

...stairway placement

makes no sense at all.

- What the hell's this room made of?

- Pizza.

Well, it's stupid. Next.

What is yours made of?

- Pickles.

- Oh, don't be a baby.

Michael, have you lost your mind?

He's 7 years old.

If he wants a playroom made of pizza,

then why not?

Maybe he's gotta grow up sometime

and get the hell off Fantasy Island.

Hey, pizza boy.

Life ain't about being creative.

It's about kissing ass, playing it safe,

making your boss a lot of money...

...in hopes one day he might throw you

a stinking bone. All right?

Yes, sir.

Ammer didn't make you partner,

did he?

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

But we'll get through this, okay?

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