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I promise.

Jeez! Man, that's all we ever do

is get through it.

When is it gonna end?

Pretty sweet, eh?

Two queen beds, full kitchen,

steam shower...

...and satellite TV

with surround sound.

Why are you always trying to hurt me?

One day I'm gonna hurt you back.

Michael Newman,

I didn't know you smoked cigars.

And now's the time.

No, Kathy, this isn't mine.

I took it out of Kevin's hands.

Yeah, he was smoking like a chimney.

No, I wasn't!

I think I smell marijuana in it.

Kevin O'Doyle, you get your ass

in this house right now!

I hate you.

Are you deaf? Move it!

I don't wanna have to ask you again!

Dope is for dopes, buddy!

Get your ass in this house!

We don't have

any other choice, guys.

- No fair! I don't wanna return my bike!

- We have to, honey.

- But Daddy gave them to us!

- Because he loves you.

Unfortunately, there was

a mix-up at Daddy's work.

We need to bring

the bikes back for now.

But I already told Kevin O'Doyle

I got a new bike.

Well, we can paint my old bike

and make it look new.

That's a girl's bike.

All the kids will make fun of me.

No!

I wanna keep my bike!

I can't take this anymore.

Fast-forward me to my promotion.

So here's to Michael Newman...

...the greatest partner

I could ever dream of.

Hear, hear!

Thank you. Thank you, guys.

My family thanks you.

I'm gonna do the best I can

and I won't let you down, I promise.

Yeah!

- Congratulations, Mr. Newman.

- This is great. Thank you.

How's it feel, killer?

- Feels incredible, sir.

- Well, you earned it. I'm telling you.

Not just because of that

Watsuhita project either.

For helping me pick up the slack

now I'm spending time with my lady.

Hey, Dinkie.

Are you kidding me? You guys have

been dating a couple months now?

That's pretty huge for this one.

No, the first few months were easy.

It was the one-year hump

that was the tough part.

Her inappropriate weekend

with my brother in Cabo...

...well, that was

a potential speed bump.

But, well, Dr. Bergman helped us

work through it, didn't he, honey?

How's he doing for you and Donna?

Dr. Bergman. What do you mean?

Oh, you know what, sweetie?

It's none of our business.

Let's let Michael bask in his glory.

Cheers.

Bask away, partner.

Took that bastard

a year to promote me?

What else did I miss?

- Sh*t.

- Need something, Mr. Newman?

- Who are you?

- Kirsten, your assistant.

What happened to Alice?

She moved to Accounting.

Couldn't handle your hours.

And she prefers to be called Alan now.

Remember?

No.

No.

No! And who the hell's

Dr. Bergman?

And I feel like Michael's making

no effort to connect with me at all.

No, no. I want to. I want to.

It's... I'm on autopilot.

"I'm on autopilot."

More like auto-zombie.

Good one, Donna.

- "Good one, Donna"?

- Michael, relax.

Who is this bigmouth?

Why can't you and I just talk?

Why? Because there is no talking

to you. You're never home to talk to.

And when you are, you're just sitting

there staring off into space.

What do you want from me?

This is what happens.

He's gonna answer his phone.

What the heck happened?

I didn't even touch the remote.

Great, you gonna start watching TV

at dinner?

Oh, can we?

Samantha. My little angel.

Look at you.

Look how long your hair's getting.

When did you grow up?

Ben, get over here.

Don't worry.

I'm not gonna work tonight.

Watch Dragon Tales together.

What do you say?

Dragon Tales is for babies, Dad.

I wanna watch CSI.

Yeah, CSI.

It's the episode

when they find the lady's arm.

What happened? I missed

the whole Dragon Tales era?

Whoa, hey, hello.

What are you doing?

Come here! Give me my Twinkie!

Get back here,

you freaking gremlin!

Don't yell at Peanut because

he found your Twinkie stash.

Who's Peanut? Where's Sundance?

Don't mention Sundance.

The kids just stopped crying.

About what? Why?

What happened?

He died?

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no.

The stupid idiot and soft fur.

- Daddy held it in so long.

- He was the best dog!

He's finally letting himself feel it.

One night when the duck's head

was off...

...he tried to hump my leg

and I didn't let him...

...and I should've and I'm sorry.

- What an idiot.

- It's okay, it's okay.

What the heck did I do?

I love you. Do you still love me?

Oh, Michael.

It's been...

I'm really confused.

No, no, no. I'll change, okay?

I'll be a better man, I promise.

Don't go, don't go.

I'll stop working so much, okay?

I'll be with you. Just stay with me.

Oh, my God, it didn't take the duck

long to get over Sundance.

It's a little deviant,

but it's kind of turning me on.

Yeah, well, let's kiss and make up.

No. No!

It's not my fault.

It jumped on its own.

I didn't even hit the button.

Not even close.

Yes?

- You scared...

- Honey, what's going on down there?

It's all right! L...

There was a mouse! I killed it!

It's dead! But it broke the table first!

- How did you get in here?

- I had a feeling you wanted to see me.

I'm freaking out.

This thing, it's broken.

It's just... It's fast-forwarding

on its own now.

It's not a malfunction, it's a feature.

It's using its memory

to execute your preferences.

It remembers stuff?

What do you mean?

It's an advanced piece of equipment,

like TiVo.

You could call it Me Vo.

I fast-forwarded through sex one time,

I don't wanna skip it forever.

I like sex. It feels good.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you

fast-forwarded through an entire year.

That's a lot of sex.

Put it all together,

that's like 30 minutes' worth for you.

Oh, no, no. So what,

everything I fast-forwarded...

...it's gonna do it on its own now?

- Pretty much.

No more showering, no more traffic.

No more arguing.

No more sickness.

This is bad, this is bad.

You take it back,

I'm deactivating my service.

I quit, I quit. Thanks for everything,

all right, but l...

Yeah.

You... This is not...

Don't be mean.

Nice hat.

No, no, no.

Get away from me. Just get away.

Get away. Leave me alone.

Is this a stickup?

Or are you just happy?

Yeah? I'm gonna

take my clothes off, then...

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

There's only one place left

for it to pop up.

Oh. No, no, I don't want that.

Come on, man.

I told you,

this item is nonreturnable.

- Come on, just take it.

- Until we meet again.

Don't do that. Come on, Morty.

How do I get it to stop fast-forwarding?

Morning, sweetie.

You wanna shower first?

Yeah. No! I can't shower

because then I'll fast-forward.

And if I fast-forward, who knows

how long I'll fast-forward for.

How's this? I'm gonna rough it today,

like in the Old West. Okay?

Donna, I wanna tell you

what's going on right now so bad...

...but it might lead to an argument.

We can't argue because off I'll go.

So just know there is a problem.

I tried to get rid of the problem,

it almost ended up in my ass.

I'm gonna go to work

and try to figure this out.

You're going to work

in your bathrobe?

Honey. We can't argue, okay?

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