Clinger Page #3

I'd like to believe

that he was a ghost,

helping me with my homework,

playing chess with me.

Sorry, was that TMI?

No, it's okay.

I'd better go.

If I leave Jenny

alone in the lab

she's probably

going to blow it up.

So see ya.

All right.

See ya.

Okay, well, I'm going out.

Good luck with

this, best friend.

Jenny, wait.

Wine, Robert?

I know you're trying be cute,

but creepy music and

ghost magic isn't cute.

I'm finishing this

lab no matter what.

Robert, being dead does

not give you the right

to be obnoxious.

Robert!

Robert, where are you?

You destroyed my lab.

You have

a new boyfriend?

No.

I left these for myself.

That's unhealthy, Fern.

Robert's an angel in heaven now.

He's not.

Never mind.

Eskimo.

Robert loved you.

He wrote a song on

his guitar for you.

I got so wet from that.

N...

My eyes, they

teared up so much.

Hi, Fern.

Hi, Moe.

So how'd the lab go last night?

Well, you left, but my...

So, because Georgia,

Natasha, and I

are the most esteemed women

at Patrick Moore High,

we feel we have certain

responsibilities

to the students' bodies.

Student body. It's a...

So, what do you

think of these?

The Robert Klingher

Foundation for Beheaded Youth.

So that what

happened to Robert

never happens to

anyone ever again.

The probability of

that happening is like

a million to one, so like...

I know. You are so unlucky.

And he, like,

actually liked you.

That's rare for a guy,

especially for you.

No offense.

I'm sorry.

When I need time to be alone,

I need you to understand.

For you, I will do anything.

I promise.

I missed you.

Wait, wait, wait,

I want this to be perfect.

It will be.

We just have to try.

Actually happening.

We're really doing

this right now.

Intercourse.

Together.

Fern's around, just ask her.

Fern, can you help me

with my.

Sorry.

God I feel like the

mom from "Black Swan".

Sup?

Don't-don't look at this.

I'm so sorry that happened.

No, I-I'm sorry.

So are we still?

Yeah.

Hold on.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

It's okay.

You ready?

I thought this would be hard.

This is fun.

It's hard and fun.

We are having sex.

We're having sex.

Wait, Robert.

I-I think I'm about to...

I think I'm gonna...

Robert!

I love you, too.

My God!

I don't think I can

do this anymore.

Look, we don't have

to have sex again,

we can just snuggle.

Robert, you're a great guy,

but our relationship is doomed.

Our love survived death.

But we don't fit into

each other's life plans

or death plans, sorry.

Robert, I think we should

stop seeing each other.

No one can see me but you.

Hello?

Best friend.

-Hello, Jenny.

-You must be so lonely without your beloved Robert.

So I'm inviting you to my

exclusive party, you sexy b*tch.

What an honor.

And you can bring your

second best friend, Moe, too.

See ya soon.

So a party.

What do we do?

Act natural.

And dance like this.

Twerk it out.

Hey.

A drink to ease

your pain, Fern.

And one for you, Moe.

I don't drink and I

have practice tomorrow.

To Robert, the only

boy who ever loved you.

Sinner!

Screw it.

I don't think.

We're killing this handle!

Wait. No, no, no,

Fern, Fern, Fern.

I'm in.

My God, blood!

My God!

I told you she was weird!

Fern?

My God, are you okay?

Do you need to go

to the hospital?

I had too much to drink.

Is there a toilet?

Okay.

What has gotten into you lately?

What the f***?

That'll show her.

Our first time

was supposed to be perfect

with trumpets and butterflies.

Your first time drinking?

No, my first

time hav...

Fern?

I forgive you for

ruining my party.

You're my best friend.

I'll always be here for you.

I will stay here all

night if I have to.

Nap time.

Moe, can you,

deal with this?

Okay.

Come on, Fern.

Let's, Fern?

Come on, let's get you home.

Okay.

You need to cut...

Three seconds, I know.

Crazy girl.

Hey, you look

down in the dumps.

Yeah, I'm pretty

bummed about my ex.

Why, I mean, you'll

get over her soon.

It's a high school relationship,

it's not meant to last.

Like it's, it's

not serious, right?

You know what we should do?

We need to get in a car, and

just lean out the sun roof

and let the wind

blow in our face.

Just like they do in the movies.

That sounds dangerous.

Yes!

Look, you can go

a little faster.

What if Principal

Almond sees us?

The best thing ever!

The best day ever!

Yeah!

Sorry, bro.

Stay away.

Marcus, is that you?

Sh*t!

Hey, Harlan.

I just had a run in

with floating scissors.

Leave me alone

whoever you are.

Shoo.

Robert's tried to hurt

Harlan... with scissors.

I said, go away!

Read this, basic info

on vanquishing ghosts.

You'll need one of these, too.

Don't point

thing in my face.

A toy gun?

It might look like a toy,

but it's your best

defense against ghosts.

It paralyzes them temporality.

Take these, too.

You take one, you see all

ghosts, not just Robert.

Even when they don't

want you to see them.

What's in this pill?

Ghost science.

Shut the f*** up.

Stop haunting my porch, Granny.

F*** you, Valeria.

F*** you, too.

Get some sleep.

Practice will be rough tomorrow.

I still need your help.

I retired for a reason.

I love you beary much.

I love you beary much.

I love you-love you beary,

I love you beary much.

I love you beary much.

What the hell

were you thinking?

I was showing you

how much I love you.

Robert, get out.

I wish you'd stay dead.

Robert, I'm sorry that it's

my fault that you died, okay?

Please.

But this just can't work.

It's not that you're dead.

It's that I'm alive.

I just wanted things to

be the way that they were.

I'll stay outta your hair.

The living toddle on,

begin their lives anew,

but we remain alone.

My husband bequeathed

his love to a new wife

and they lived

happily ever after.

How I wish my husband

could've passed when I did.

We could have spent

the afterlife together.

Forever.

"It's not that you're

dead, it's that I'm alive."

What was that, Mister Robert?

I wish I had a boyfriend

who would go to town on me...

with gifts like these.

Besides you, Jesus.

I wish I could find

a guy like you.

So let me get this straight.

Robert comes back as a ghost.

So ghosts are real now, cool.

He comes to dinner with us.

He listens to me talk about

my sock puppet startup,

which, by the way, failed

because Kickstarter

took all my money.

It's a really a

f***ed up system.

Kelsey?

Sorry.

You guys ready?

My entire conception of reality

has been shattered, but, yeah.

Yes!

My God, you got into MIT?

Yeah, they sent out most

of their acceptances today.

Got in MIT.

Congrats, Larry.

Dude, how many people

did you have to bang

to get in there?

Congrats, Larry.

That's my boy.

Yes!

Thanks, thanks,

thank you.

You're kinda hot.

That's my boy.

I'm proud of this man.

Thanks, thanks.

Hey, congratulations.

58!

If you want the

MIT to notice you...

I need to drop

my time down to 56.

I know.

That scout's going to be like,

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