Clockwise Page #5

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Excuse me... Hello.

Can you tell me...?

Do you know...?

Is there anyone round

here with a tractor?

Won my bet, anyway.

Watched you go down on

that hoed dirt...

Bet myself a cheese sandwich you

wouldn't get as far as the bottom.

Right, we're stuck. We need a tractor,

to pull us out.

'Avin' a day in the country, are you?

Not really. Is there a farm...

near here?

Gettin' close to nature?

Right, right.

We're in rather a hurry, you see.

I have to be in Norwich by 5.00.

Norwich? You're goin' to Norwich?

Yes, so if we can just find

a tractor...

What? Short cut is it?

Lost our way. So we must

quickly find a tractor.

Well, my advice is this...

Yes?

If you're goin' this way...

find a tractor...

A tractor, yes...

and stay on the bloody thing

all the way to Norwich.

Thank you. Thank you very much!

- I'll tell ya' something else...

- Yes, thank you.

Know what I'm sittin' on?

A bomb, I hope.

All right, my old dear,

You look that way, and I'll look this,

and I bet you a jam tart

I find a tractor first.

Headin' for Norwich, I believe?

Some of us.

You dodged the traffic, anyway.

Come on. Come on. Oh, for God's sake.

Turn the record player down.

Ah, right. There you are.

Now, a tractor. I'm looking for

a tractor.

You don't have a tractor here, do you?

I'm so sorry, but it is rather urgent.

I have to be in Norwich by...

Of course, a monastery.

I might have guessed.

Have they found a tractor?

Well, it doesn't matter.

Wasn't important.

I'm sorry to let them down, that's all.

It doesn't matter to me.

It was important for the school.

Would've meant so much to the children.

Well... I suppose we

couldn't ring for a taxi?

No phone?

It would have meant a lot to

my mother, of course,

if she'd been alive.

I mean, I'd be happy to enter a monastery

and never speak again

We speak.

I'm sorry, I... I just assumed...

I'm sorry.

What do you think I should do then?

Have a bath, perhaps?

They're women!

Funny ol' boyfriend you girls have

found yourselves.

Takes you for nature study in the country,

then slips off and enters a monastery!

- Right, I'm off.

- Mr Stimpson?

Are you coming with me,

or aren't you.

This is our car!

I'm not waiting.

Mr Stimpson? Mr Stimpson?

Mr Stimpson!

Mr Stimpson!

Mr Stimpson!

Quick, where are you?

It's your friend, she won't wait.

They can't find a tractor.

We've got one. It's pulled us out.

What are you doing?

I'm having a bath.

- You've got one?

- She's going.

I'll be right down.

Well?

He's having a bath.

A bath? Why not a sauna and

massage as well?

Again?

Mr Stimpson?

Where is she?

She's gone. I said he's having

a bath, and she went.

Stop her!

It's our car!

End of the lane.

Ah, can't... can't...

Sandal...

We found the road, anyway.

It's not the despair, Laura,

I can stand the despair;

it's the hope.

There!

Blue Morris 1100, registration number

Romeo Delta Xray 364 Juliet.

We've also got Mrs Garden, reported

missing, believed kidnapped.

State of shock, otherwise

appears all right.

No sign of the girl.

She's at the monastery.

Oh, she's apparently in a monastery.

No sign of the male suspect.

He's in the bath.

He's in the bath.

In the monastery?

In the bath, in a monastery.

It's gonna take a bit of sorting out,

this one!

We'll bring Mrs Garden in anyway.

We're charging her with taking

and driving away,

driving a vehicle in an

unroadworthy condition,

exceeding the speed limit, and

assaulting a police officer.

Nearly there...

One little slip, Laura, that's all.

Said 'right', meant 'left'.

One word!

Going!

Gone!

I've lied for this, Laura...

I've stolen,

I've taken you out of school...

Well, I suppose this is a form of

education; it's an education for me, Laura.

You still haven't had any lunch.

We'll get something.

In your suit.

In the bathroom.

I've even lost the time.

He's only a third in geography, but he can

read a balance sheet.

Our merchant bankers thought we

could reckon on 15%.

The Old Boys' Association raised

a quarter of a million, in 3 months...

You know, our people suggested

floating the school off.

We're offering an A level in

classic Arabic, of course.

...and we hope the school mosque will

finished in time for Ramadan.

One in the eye for Millfield, anyway.

We're also planning a Deutsche Mark

offshore fund.

We have to be prepared for any

political eventuality.

...but we do have the same

accountants as Mick Jagger.

...so anyway an air crew came down and

checked out our security arrangements,

with particular reference to the bombs.

Did you ring the school?

They say he left at 10.00

He said he was going to

be here by 3.00

I'm sorry, I'm... just...

I don't know... whether...

Extraordinary appointments some

governors make these days.

Or is that the state sector?

The chap over there came on

a motor cycle by the look of it.

Good God!

There's some woman!

- How did she get in?

- Excuse me.

And at Easter I'm taking the

Classical sixth to Jamaica.

Can I help you at all?

Where is she? Where's Laura?

I'm sorry?

Our daughter! He's going mad, and

he'll have one of his attacks.

Oh! Oh dear. Your daughter?

Well, let's go and have a look for

her, shall we?

I'm sorry, someone should explain.

We don't bring wives and families.

Wives? No, you have 18-year-old girls

who are doing their A levels.

I've never heard anything like it.

Well, let's go upstairs and

discuss it in peace, shall we?

And where is he?

Where's Mr Stimpson?

Mr Stimpson? Ah! Mr Stimpson.

Well, I think you'll like our new

prospectus. It's been done by...

Excuse me one moment.

Anyway, we're hoping the new solarium will

give our sixth form a bit more appeal

- at the top end of the market.

- I'm so sorry.

Would you take these good people

and upstairs, to the room along

the corridor, on the left.

Terrific! Delighted!

See that they have some tea.

I'll be with you in one minute.

Can I help you?

I'm looking for Mr Stimpson.

Oh, we're all looking for Mr Stimpson.

Come with me.

So of course I said:

"I don't drink sherry

"I'm a total abstainer, as you very

well know

"But I do not see why the sherry glasses

should go to Pam, just because she drinks."

Why don't you have a cup of tea?

I told you to stay in the car!

You're another of Mr Stimpson's party,

are you?

Pour them some tea, and take them upstairs,

the room along the corridor on the left.

Very well.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I'm just... I'll... fetch you

a cup of...

He seems to have brought his

entire family.

There's another one here.

Let me guess. You're looking for

Mr Stimpson.

I'm looking for the head doctor.

Well let's see what we can find upstairs.

Mr Stimpson?

Am I?

I don't know where I am or

what I am.

I know the feeling.

Why don't you both make yourselves

comfortable in here?

I'll bring Mr Stimpson to you just as

soon as I've found him.

Terrible bore, I know, but it is

a private meeting.

As a matter of fact, I say it would be

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