Club Dread Page #6

[Both Moaning Loudly]

[Juan Moaning Loudly]

- [Penelope Screams]

- [Glass Shatters]

I 'I I be right back.

[Moans]

Okay.

Eh, I 'm still not sure.

I may need a few more hours

to pump her for information.

You a**hole!

Now you're just trying to get laid.

How would you like to be stuffed in this

closet while I go out there and have sex?

- That is a great idea.

- [Toilet Flushes]

Shh! Here she comes!

What exactly

are your intentions with Jenny?

You know, Put...

during the Sung Dynasty, there was

a great mystic... Master Tsu Tong Po.

And he once said

something very wise:

"If you love something, set it free.

- If it comes back to you..."

- F*** off.

It's a bloody Hallmark card.

Just trying to help you, man.

Well, she has taken

quite a fancy to you, hasn't she?

But I have some...

ammunition of my own.

What kind of man would I be if I sat

idly by while you stole her from me?

Do not underestimate me, Lars.

I know things you don't.

All right, Lars,

let's see what you got.

- [Whispering] Look what I found.

- [Gasps]

- Wow.

- Yeah. Shiny.

[Creaking]

Hey.

[Dave]

Oh! I knew it.

Oh, sick f***.

Dear God in heaven.

[Snoring]

[Putman]

Lars?

[Sword Unsheathes]

Oh, dear God!

[Whimpering]

- [Whimpering Continues]

- [Snarling]

[Grunts, Whimpers]

No!

- No!

- [Squishing Sound]

- [Grunts]

- Huh?

- [Twig Snaps]

- [Gasps]

- You!

- That's right, love.

Now take that stupid bag

off your head and give us a kiss.

- What?

- Advantage, Putman.

Hey...

[Moans]

- [Moaning Continues]

- [Lars] Putman!

- [Babbling]

- Putman!

Putman! Wake up, Putman.

It's a dream! It's just a dream, Putman.

[Gasping]

##[Reggae]

Farewell.

[Laughing, Chattering]

[Dave] Keep it clean,

keep it clean, huh, mister?

That's a point!

That's a point!

Mira! The boat!

[Grunts]

- Whoo!

- Ay Mami! He found the f***ing boat!

[Jenny]

Whoo!

Hang on to your kudos.

- Oh!

- She's not going anywhere.

- What did you do to the propeller, man?

- I didn't do anything.

This is the one

that was pulling Carlos.

Well, we could send a group

to paddle out to the mainland.

- We've got plenty of strong guys.

- No chance.

The riptide'll take you out to sea.

[Chuckles]

You'll be drinking your own urine

in less than 20 hours.

- Where's Putman?

- He's not here?

He left last night.

He ran off into the jungle.

- Oh, by "ran off"

do you mean "got killed by you"?

- Ah!

What, did you really think we

wouldn't notice Putman was gone

if you came back with a boat?

- Sam, that's ridiculous.

- Why is that ridiculous?

Hey, look. Putman freaked out

in the middle of the night

and took off into the jungle.

Look, we went into your room

last night, Lars.

Mark David Chapman over here

has a shrine to Pete.

- It's unbelievable!

- So I'm a fan.

A fan?

Man, you're a f***ing loon!

Look, nobody here

was killed last night...

because Lars

was in the jungle killing Putman.

Hey, look. I could never hurt

another person, okay?

- I don't believe in violence.

- Mm-hmm.

I touch other people

to make them feel better.

Come on. I have an obligation

to get to the bottom of that...

Come on. I have an obligation

to get to the bottom of that...

- Ay! You are the f***ing Fun Police!

- Juan!

- What the hell...

- Come on, take it easy!

Quit your bickering!

Now, we just get through one more night,

the boat will be here tomorrow.

Well be all right. So, come on,

everybody, lets just have a drink...

- and... mellow out.

- I don't want to mellow out, Pete!

I want to know what Lars's deal

is, huh? You come here and

everyone starts getting killed.

Hey, I don't have to tell you sh*t,

Fun Pig! You wanna Fun arrest me?

You get a Fun-f***ing warrant!

Until then...

stay out of my

Fun-f***ing face!

Come on!

Jenny, you know

I'm not the killer, right?

Look, Lars,

it's not so bad in here, okay?

- I'll bring you some magazine.

- Yeah.

You familiar

with the expression "sitting duck"?

No.

- You guys, this is totally f***ed up.

- Look, Jenny...

if hes the killer,

then we have him in this room.

And if not,

then at least we know it's not him.

[Bird Squawking]

Did it stink?

You bet it stunk.

Oh, sh*t!

[Laughs]

- Hey, you guys gonna be

hanging around for a while?

- Totally.

We're just getting started.

Anyway, that's my mom for you.

[Laughs]

Any of you guys

have a mother?

Free drinks,

whoever catches me!

- Whoo-hoo!

- [Laughing, Chattering]

- [Water Splashing]

- [Gasps]

Sh*t.

Oh, God!

[Whimpers, Groans]

[Muffled Scream]

[Snickers]

Your prayers have been answered.

- You a**hole!

- Nah, I'm not an a**hole.

I'm just young, dumb and full...

What the f***?

- What?

- Something just brushed

against my leg. What the...

No, there's seriously

something down here.

- What?

- Oh, no, wait!

It's just my gigantic cock.

[Snickers]

[Man On TV]Amy's got

some fantastic advice for everybody.

- Oh, my God.

- So, you want to get it on?

Dirk, get outta the pool!

- Huh?

- I'm not kidding!

- [Jenny] Hurry!

- Hey, that's what I call service!

- Now! Get outta the pool!

- [Gasps]

- [Dirk Yelling]

- [Jenny Screaming]

- [Dirk Screaming]

- [Shrieking]

[Electrical Breakers Banging]

Hey, help me!

[Screams]

Putman! You're alive!

- [Panting, Sobbing]

- You've got your arms around me, Jenny.

I can only assume this means

every other man on the island is dead.

We got to get outta here! Dirk's dead!

He just got electrocuted in the pool!

Really? What was the look on his face?

He must have screamed bloody murder.

[Quivering]

You're scaring me.

I just want to know if smoke

came out of his ears. Is that so wrong?

- [Shudders, Screams]

- Hey! Oh! Putman, where have you been?

Running in circles through

this bloody jungle, that's where.

Thank God you're not dead. Now,

we need to get over to Pete's cabana...

- and get that auxiliary generator.

- Wait, hang on!

If Dirk just got killed,

then Lars couldn't be the killer!

All right now, be on guard.

He might be a little cranky.

Lars! Lars, we're here!

Oh, do give it a rest, Jen.

[Jenny]

He couldn't have.

He's far too large.

We gotta find Pete.

- [Sam] Pete!

- [Creaking]

Pete?

Pete?

You in here, Pete?

Peter! We need the key

to the generator box.

- [Banging]

- [All Gasp]

[Rattling]

[Rattling Continues]

- [Crashing]

- [Yelling, Squealing]

- Damn it!

- Isn't somebody going to get

the f***in' door?

[Rattling]

- Who's there?

- Who's out there?

- [All Gasp]

- Hey!

I think there's a problem with the lights!

[Zooming Sounds]

- Right?

- [Disgusted Sigh]

All right,

Lars will probably come after us here.

We don't know for sure

that it is Lars.

And we don't know if he got out

or if someone else got in.

What is it with you and Lars?

I'm beginning to wonder

if you aren't in cahoots!

I mean, let's see.

You had sex with Rolo, and he's dead.

You and Cliff, right?

He's dead.

Give me a break. I screwed Juan

and Pete, and those guys aren't dead.

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