Club Dread Page #8

But it's not yet game, set...

- [Blade Slicing]

- [Howls]

- [Slicing Continues]

- [Agonized Groan]

- [Whimpering Sob]

- [Gurgling]

[Body Thuds]

- [Creaking]

- [Footsteps]

[Footsteps Continue]

- [Clattering]

- [Squawking]

[Footsteps Continue]

- [Footsteps Stop]

- [Both Mouthing Words]

[Footsteps Resume]

[Mouthing Words]

[Footsteps Fading]

[Door Closes]

Soap, please.

- [Whooping, Shouting]

- [Bongos]

Hey! Nice helmet, Lars!

About time you two perverts

showed up for the party!

[Laughs]

[Burke]

Pour it! Pour it!

Oh, Jesus Christ!

That's blood!

- What the f***?

- [Jenny] Oh, God!

Oh, God!

- We're all gonna die!

- [Screaming]

Help! Help!

Penelope!

Where's Juan?

I don't know,

I haven't seen him all night.

What the hell is going on?

[Chuckles]

Juan! Juan!

- Hold on. Hold on.

- What are you doing?

- Let me go!

- Don't move!

Where the hell have you been?

I was looking for Peenalop.

Why you are looking at me like that?

'Cause you disappeared a half-hour ago,

and now you show up covered in blood.

Because I just found Putman.

- He's dead.

- Oh, sh*t! Sam!

- He's dead.

- Oh, sh*t! Sam!

- [Screaming]

- [Jenny] Oh, my God!

- [Lars] The mud bath!

- Let's go, Peenalop.

[Jenny]

Oh, God.

[Penelope Groans]

- Oh, no.

- What?

- [Mutters] Oh, f***.

- Sam. Sam.

- [Whimpering]

- Sam!

[Grunts]

- Get out.

- What?

Get out, now!

- [Screaming, Yelling]

- [Maniacal Laughing]

Did you know that

I can hold my breath...

for three minutes and 33 seconds?

[Chuckles]

Nobody ever suspects

the Fun Police.

- Bullshit. I always have suspected you.

- Bullshit. You did not.

- You are the bullshit!

- [Gasps]

He's the guy from the campfire story...

Machete Phil, the kid with no dick.

No. That's just

an old campfire story.

What do you piss out of,

your a**hole?

It's just a story! I have a dick.

I'm not Machete Phil.

I'm Machete Sam.

- [Laughs]

- [Jenny]Sam, why are you doing this?

Oh, I remember it

like it was yesterday.

I asked Rolo if he had any grass,

and he said he didn't have any.

So then I followed him

into the jungle.

- Would you believe what I saw?

- No.

He had grass. My grass!

- [Laughing]

- A huge bag of it.

And he was smokin' it

with those two little hussies...

even though

he said he had none.

So then...

No, wait, that's not it.

I found out that Pete was

giving the island to Dave.

Oh, yeah. That's it.

It wasn't about the grass.

Although that was incredibly uncool.

It was about Pete giving the island

to that little shithead!

All-night raving,

pill-popping little son of a b*tch!

What about me? H uh?

I deserved it!

I 'm the best goddamned employee

this place has ever seen!

Dave was gonna run it

into the ground.

Not on my watch!

This is my home.

Pete thinks Im just a clown,

good for fun and games.

Well, I got you guys

to do your jobs, didn't I?

Pretty good managerial skills,

don't you think?

Setting you guys up to decipher

that stupid "Naughty Cal song.

[Cackling]

Who's the orca?

Who's the octopus?

[Singsong] I am the Walrus!

I am the Walrus! I am the Walrus!

- [Yells] Oh! Ooh!

- [Grunting]

Get outta here! Now!

I can't hold him for long.

Try putting him to sleep!

Try the-the Snoring Panda!

I can't reach it.

[Panting] I can handle this.

- He'll orgasm for

another few minutes. Go!

- Ooh.

- I'm not leaving you!

- I'll be okay.

- Get outta here. It's gonna get messy.

- Ooh. Ooh.

- Go.

- Go.

- [Panting]

- Oh! Ohhh!

Oh! Ooh!

- Back to the club!

- Are you crazy?

It's the most secure building on

the island. It's where we keep the booze!

[Shouting, Screaming]

Look out, now.

Oh, oh-oh-oh! There you are!

- [Screams]

- Baba-boobie!

- Peenalop!

- Juan!

Oh, God!

Look, he's after us.

She's safer with them. Let's go!

Let's go!

[Jenny]

Get the gate!

[Sobs]

Oh, God!

[Screams]

Oh, God! Nooo!

- Oh, God!

- Peenalop!

- No! No!

- Peenalop! Peenalop!

- Stop!

- [Panicked Grunt]

God! Stop it!

What are you doing?

- You'll never make it!

- [Penelope] Sam! Please!

- [Jenny] God!

What do you think youre...

- [Grunts] Watch out!

- [Grunts]

- [Jenny] Harder! Harder!

- [Jenny] She can't breathe!

- [Juan Grunting]

- [Juan Groaning]

- Penelope! Get up.

- [Gasps, Coughs]

- [Groaning Continues]

- Ohh!

- Juan! Juan! Juan, get up!

- [Coughing]

- Juan, get up.

Come on! Hurry! Come on!

[Groans]

Oh, God.

It's not a party until

someone breaks the Jacuzzi.

- [Laughing]

- [Screams] Oh, God! Juan!

[Snickering]

[Yells]

[Groans, Coughs]

- Lars!

- [Panting] The Fun...

is done.

- [Groans, Chuckles]

- [Chuckles]

What happened

to the hot tub?

[People Whooping, Laughing]

[Man]

Here we go!

Oh, God!

- [Jenny] No!

- [Juan] No, it's not possible!

- What do we do?

- We can lose him in the jungle.

- The jungle?

- I can get us through!

Come on!

- Hurry!

- Go, go, go, go!

I know where this goes!

Let's go! Come on, quickly!

- [Grunts]

- Go!

Oh, God!

This was your big plan?

We can do it. It's high tide.

All right, now listen.

I know this is going

to sound disgusting, but...

when you jump, keep your legs

together and clench your ass cheeks.

Or else, water will fly up your butthole

and pulverize your intestine.

- Gross!

- [Laughter]

- [Gasps]

- [Sam] Where are you?

- I trust you, Juan.

- I'm coming! I'm coming!

[Gasps]

Jesus!

Who is this girl?

Jesus!

Who is this girl?

She's...

my girlfriend.

[Jenny Yelling]

[Yelling]

[Gasps]

- Did you see it?

- I saw it.

- Oh, my a**hole!

- What did you see?

- The Randy Rum runner.

He didn't take it. He sunk it.

Juan, anyway you could

dive down and get the propeller off?

We could put it

on the Smilin Smuggler.

- Consider it done, my friend.

- Come on, let's go.

Come on!

[Jenny Grunts]

Juan!

- Come on.

- In the boat. In the boat.

Oh, God!

Where the hell is Juan?

- Juan? Juan?

- [Jenny]Juan, where are you?

- [Yells]

- [Both Scream]

- Oh, my God, you're bleeding.

- It's okay.

- You should see the other hombre.

- I'll put it on.

- Come on.

- [Grunts]

- [Screaming]

- [Yells]

Juan!

[Whimpers]

It's all right.

It's okay.

I cannot imagine

a more beautiful way to go.

[Coughing]

Just remember, Peenalop.

I love you.

Carajo de mierda!

- I love you!

- [Sobs]

[Gulps]

Maybe...

before I go...

one kiss.

No, no, no.

I meant,

maybe you and Jenny could...

- kiss each other.

- [Chuckles]

I always...

wanted...

to see that.

- [Jenny] Oh, God!

- Juan!

Juan!

- [Yells]

- [Women Screaming]

- [Punch Lands]

- [Squealing Groan]

- [Screams]

- [Grunting]

[Coughing, Gagging]

- [Grunting]

- [Grunting]

- Aargh!

- Come on!

- Son of a b*tch!

- [Grunting]

- [Grunts]

- [Yells, Groans]

[Grunts]

- [Cries Out]

- [Groans]

- [Lars] Go! Go, Jenny, go!

- [Engine Revs]

- [Jenny] Whoo-whoo!

- [Yelling]

Sh*t!

Turn it, turn it!

- Lars, what are you doing?

- Trust me.

- Lars, stop it!

- Come on, come on!

- [Screams]

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