Clueless Page #6

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# And the body to go with it?

# I'm telling you, he's mean?

# And my girlfriends be telling me?

# They be seeing him

and he be asking about me?

And anything you can do

to draw attention

to your mouth is good.

Also, sometimes

you have to show a little skin.

This reminds guys of being naked,

and then they think of sex.

Hey, Duchess?

Yes?

You rashin' this weekend?

Huh?

Like Saturday.

I'm new, but I thought maybe

you had an in on the heavy clambakes.

Well, my ex-stepbrother's friends

are having a party.

Solid.

Daddy had an urgent case.

Some clerks and Josh helped him

go through a gazillion depositions.

- Daddy!

- What?

I can't open it.

I have to make him wait!

Then he can wait outside.

Josh, please!

Come on, Josh!

Come on!

What do you hear?

She's not ready.

Hey, man.

Nice pile of bricks you got here.

You drink?

No, thanks. I'm cool.

I'm not offering.

I'm asking you if you drink.

You think I'd give alcohol

to teenage drivers

taking my daughter out?

The protective vibe. I dig.

You think the death of Sammy Davis

left an opening in the Rat Pack?

Christian.

Doll face.

Handsome.

Stunning.

You're not letting her

go out like that, are you?

Cher, get in here.

- What's up?

- What the hell is that?

A dress.

Says who?

Calvin Klein.

It looks like underwear.

Go upstairs and put

something over it.

Tscha! I was just going to.

Hey, you.

Anything happens to my daughter,

I got a. 45 and a shovel.

I doubt anybody would miss you.

Bye, Daddy.

Come on.

Oh, it's so killer!

Thank you.

Your dad is pretty scary.

Isn't he?

You like Billie Holiday?

I love him.

Right.

# Who do you think is coming to town?

# You'll never guess who?

# Lovable, hugable...?

I didn't like him.

What's to like?

Maybe I should go to the party.

If you feel like you should go...

You don't need me, do you?

No, no.

Josh, go to the party.

Go, go, go.

O.K.

Uh...

I'll watch her for you.

O.K.

You do that.

# There was a place?

# And the name of the place escapes me?

# When I can't remember,

it irritates me?

# Could be I can't remember?

# Could be I choose to not?

# Let's move along the song

and try to find the plot?

# There was a girl?

# And I don't know

her name, either?

# She gave me love,

and I said I'd never leave her?

# And if I did, I'd come back

someday and find her?

# Maybe I will,

I should write up a reminder?

# One day?

# One day, who knows?

# Someday?

# Someday I suppose...?

Tai!

Whoa!

Oh, my God!

Tai, are you O.K.?

Sh*t! That is so embarrassing!

No one saw it.

Now all night long,

I'll be known as

that girl who fell on her butt.

Wow! Are you O.K.?

That looked really bad.

Yeah. Thanks.

Oh, my God, Cher. Look.

He's going with Amber?

No. He's probably

just dancing with her.

Do you think she's pretty?

No. She's a Monet.

What's a Monet?

It's like the paintings, see?

From far away, it's O.K.

Up close, it's a big old mess.

Christian, what do you think of Amber?

Hagsville.

See?

They're charging for brewskies.

Pass me a fin,

I'll pay you back?

Sure.

Thanks.

Oh, he's so cute.

Oh, my God.

Do you see how

he's falling in love with me?

I mean, look how

he ignores every other girl.

Oh, God, look.

There's Josh.

He finds the only adult in here,

like he's deliberately

trying to not have fun.

Cher, I have a question.

What should I do with this thing?

Should I tie it around

or put it over...

Tie it around your waist.

Ready to slide?

Let's go.

# Where did you go?

# Where did you go?

# Where did you go?

# Where did you go?

# Where did you go?

# You played a tape

I couldn't hear?

# Emptiness began to roam,

and where did you go?

The band was kickin',

and Christian was

the hottest guy there.

But my enjoyment was put on pause

when I saw how unhappy Tai was.

#... Wish you sent me

this would end?

# Wrote a note,

then tore it up?

# Poured the beer into a cup,

sat on the couch?

# Drank and smoked,

wondering where did you go...?

Hi.

I think we were born to move.

Look! Josh is dancing with Tai!

He never dances!

I can see why.

No. He's doing her a prop

so she won't be left out.

Oh, I dig you.

# Get on the floor,

and let's dance some more?

# Get on the floor, and

let's dance some more?

# Get on the floor,

and let's dance some more?

# Get on the floor, and

let's dance some more?

- How are you guys holding up?

- I am so ready to leave.

I'm tired.

Let's get Christian and go.

Christian!

- You want to go?

- Now?

These guys got the skinny

on the happening after hours.

My trainer's coming really early.

I can take the girls home.

No. That's all right. Thanks.

No. It's fine. Stay.

- You sure?

- Yeah, sure.

Thanks, man. You got my mark.

You are a down girl.

I'll call you tomorrow.

It was really decent of you

to dance with Tai.

My pleasure.

You notice any

positive changes in her?

Yeah. Under your tutelage,

she's exploring the challenging world

of bare midriffs.

So you didn't want

to make a night of it

with the ring-a-ding kid?

Daddy won't go too ballistic.

It's not like he'll sleep.

Not if they're going to

finish those depos.

It would be dope if we got

some really delicious take-out.

I bet they haven't

eaten all night.

That would be

pretty... dope of us.

Let's do it.

The midnight snack

totally revived the lawyers,

and Daddy was way grateful.

Eat oranges. Get Vitamin C.

Daddy, no!

Cher, come on.

You can't have that.

I know it sounds mental,

but sometimes I have

more fun vegging out

than when I go partying.

Maybe because my party clothes

are so binding.

How many hours a day

do you spend grooming yourself?

Some people aren't lucky enough

to be as naturally

adorable as you are.

Stop it. You're making me blush.

Hello.

Hi, Cher. How are you?

Hi, Gail.

Is my son there,

cleaning out your refrigerator?

No, no, he's not here.

You should try the dorms.

All right. Bye, hon.

Bye-bye.

What was that all about?

She wants me to come home

for spring break.

So? Nobody will be in school.

Husband number four's at home,

and his idea of acting

like a family is to criticize me.

You're going to roam

around campus by yourself?

I don't mind.

That is stupid.

Come here. Have your old room.

There will be some great parties.

No.

Why not?

You got your whole

social world going on.

I'd get in the way.

You won't be in the way.

How much fun would it be

having a brother-type tagging along?

Josh, you're not my brother.

You know what I mean.

Come on. You need

some excitement in your life.

It will replenish you

for your finals.

O.K.

Good.

I can't believe

I'm taking advice

from someone who watches cartoons.

Be quiet, you idiot!

That's Ren & Stimpy.

They're way existential.

Do you have any idea

what you're talking about?

No. Why, do I sound like I do?

Ha ha!

Christian said he'd call the next day.

In boy time, that meant Thursday.

You can imagine my astonishment

to hear from him

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