Convict 99 Page #7

- Certainly not.

- Well, someone has.

Broker says your cheques are no good.

He's brought back three marked "rd".

- Marked "rd"?

- "Rd."

I wonder who that could be?

Robert Donat?

- No, it wouldn't be him.

- It means you haven't any money!

Oh? Well, there must be a reason.

- Better think of a good one.

- I've got nothing to hide.

Not about money, anyway.

- ..very careless.

- Are you the governor?

- Yes.

- I should like to speak to you, alone.

Don't mind Johnson,

he's my financial adviser.

I'm not surprised. To get to the point,

these cheques have been returned "rd".

Yes, so Johnson's been telling me.

Rub it out and send them back.

Unless we have an immediate settlement

we shall apply

for a warrant for your arrest.

My arrest? Johnson, tell him, we've got

plenty of money, it can't just disappear.

It evidently has. You owe us 600.

600? Is that all? Oh.

Hello? Get me my bank manager.

I've never heard anything like it,

kicking up a fuss about a trifle like that.

- That's the trouble with you small firms.

- (Telephone)

Hello? This is Benjamin speaking.

What's this nonsense about me having

no money in my account?

A cheque was drawn at 9:03

this morning for 5,000,

payable to a Charlotte Rousseau.

I say, that...that was for 50, not 5,000!

Phew.

There's no object

in my staying any longer.

No doubt we shall meet again -

at the assizes.

Ooh, I don't feel well.

- Did you give that woman a cheque?

- The Baroness?

That's one of Slessor's girlfriends.

- He did this. Look for him.

- What do you think I've been doing?

One of the boys will know where he is.

Yes! If I find him and get the money back

I'll be clear.

I don't know about that

but it'll help pay for your defence.

We've been nursing a viper

in our bosom, and we've been stung.

Slessor's absconded with the entire

funds of the Blackdown Trust.

- The dirty dog!

- Double-crossing swab!

- The rat.

- Does anyone know Slessor's hideout?

- It's at Slim Charlie's.

- Where's that?

- Creek Street, Limehouse.

- I'll go now.

Charlie won't let strangers in, he's

one of the biggest fences in London.

- The biggest what?

- Fences.

I don't care if he's got a brick wall!

- I can tunnel under it!

- Get out of it.

No, a fence is a receiver

of stolen property.

Pretend you're on business,

sell him something cheap.

- I haven't got anything to sell him.

- Sell him this.

Right. Good gracious!

Why, it's that woman's tirara!

- So it is!

- There y'are, you can slip that to him.

- It's not mine, that'd be stealing.

- That's how she got it.

All you've gotta do is offer him that for

a tenner and he'll be your friend for life.

Don't be silly, I can't go to a stranger

and offer him somebody's tirara for 10.

Not likely. Why, it's worth 1210s

of anybody's money!

- (# Circus tune)

- (Cheering)

(Rants and raves incoherently)

Hi, you!

Me no Hi-Yu, me Hi-Hang!

(# Piano)

(Coughs)

(Clears throat)

What do you want?

Well, erm, a penny doughnut, please.

- I'm waiting for a very old friend of mine.

- Oh?

Yes, a man called Slender Charles.

You mean Slim Charlie?

Yes, yes, Slim Charlie, but I always

call him Slender Charles for short.

- Well, I'm Slim Charlie.

- (Man) Slim? Customer.

Coming.

I say, surely you're not the little

slim Charlie I went to school with.

I never went to school.

That accounts for it,

that's why I didn't recognise you.

I say, how's your fencing going on?

What's your game?

Put them back. Do you want to get us

all pinched here?

- Where are you from?

- Blackdown, I got out this morning.

Where'd you swipe them rocks?

Well, er, I swapped...swept...I swept 'em

on the way up.

You work fast, don't ya?

Have you ever heard of Lightning Ben?

- You went to school with him too?

- No, I am Lightning Ben.

- Say, who do you know?

- Well, Sykes and Bates and old Slessor.

- Max Slessor?

- Yes, does that make me a member?

Let me look at that again.

- How much do you want?

- 15.

I must see Slessor first. Half of it's his.

Up the stairs and in the back.

- Want some more coffee, Maxy?

- No time. Get your coat on.

(Knocking on door)

Come in.

- What are you doing here?

- Are you on your own?

Er, yes, I was just passing,

thought I'd drop in and see you.

- What for?

- Well, I've come for my money.

- Have you?

- Yes. You have got it?

- Yes, thanks.

- How about giving it back?

- What?

- I know you gave way to temptation

but give me the money, come back

to prison and we'll say no more.

Isn't that sweet?

I wouldn't like to see

anything happen to you

but if you push your nose into my

business I'll push it back into your face.

Wait a minute! Where are you going?

Wait! Wait!

Here, come here!

I insist on having it,

I promised the boys.

- Get rid of him, Charlie.

- OK. (Whistles)

So long, Sniffy.

Give my love to the boys.

No, you don't, Slessor.

You thought you'd get away with it, eh?

Well, we've come for the money.

Oh, yes? Well, try and get it.

Chuck 'em out, Charlie!

Now, boys, boys!

(# Piano plays circus tune)

- Hello, guv!

- Who said you could leave Blackdown?

Nobody, but somebody had to

drive the boys up in the Black Maria.

- Who let 'em out?

- I did. Lucky for you I thought of it.

- Are they all out?

- No, only ten of us.

- (Woman screams)

- Hey, Jerry!

- Hey, hey, hey, where are you going?

- To the bedroom.

- Hey? What?

- To lock her in!

That's all right, then.

Come straight back! Johnson!

- This is the lot.

- I wanna count it.

No, we have to get this

back to the bank.

- It'll be shut.

- We've got the talent to open it up.

- Without a trace.

- Bust open a bank? That's dishonest!

We'll do nothing dishonest.

- We're merely putting the money back.

- Putting it back?

- Yes.

- Won't your union object?

- If we don't, you'll get pinched.

- Do we bust the bank - yes or no?

Well, under the circumstances,

perhaps you could bust it just a little.

- Right.

- Good.

Hello? Get me the police.

- 'Ere! Blimey, you gone crazy?

- I know what I'm doing.

Hello? This is Slim Charlie's.

(Muffled groaning)

In here, Governor.

Keep close to the wall

till I pull the blind down.

Now get to work.

You keep watch through the letter box.

If you see anything suspicious, tell me.

What if I don't see anything suspicious?

What do you mean? If you don't see

anything, keep it to yourself. Go on.

Let go! I'm the one to open it,

I've opened millions.

- I break-a the safe or I break-a your neck!

- Oh, will ya?

Hey, boys, boys, quiet, quiet.

What's all this about?

- I'm the man for this job.

- He could not open a tin of spaghetti.

- I don't eat spaghetti!

- Sh!

I'll settle this.

Eeny, meeny, miney, mo,

let's see who'll put back the dough.

Eeny, meeny, miney, mo,

out you go.

- Who won?

- Me.

- Congratulations.

- Oh, maestro!

Here - Benjamin, page 29.

Here it is.

- Everything all right, Johnson?

- OK, guv.

- 'Ello!

- What are you doing?

Looking through the letter box,

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