Corky Romano Page #4

Thank you very much.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I have to go tinkle.

Pissant.

Hi.

Oh. I was just going to go

find you and-and say hi.

Hi.

What you got?

It was recovered

at the apartment-

the only hard evidence we have

against the Night Vulture.

Fingerprints all over it...

but we haven't been able

to get a make.

Uhh!

That... Night Vulture guy...

Phew!

I'm going to do

some young mu kwon.

Would you like to join me?

You don't fit the profile

of a typical fed.

What do you mean?

It's nothing bad.

It's actually refreshing.

Oh.

I'm just doing

this FBI thing...

to pay some bills

before I get to my real career.

And what's that?

I'm going to be

a licensed veterinarian...

and own my own animal hospital.

- How sweet.

- Thanks.

Kyah, kyah, kyah!

Mmm!

I'm going to try

the tang soo do. Ready?

- Yeah.

- Nim-po!

Look, you don't have

to go easy on me.

What?

See, this is what

I'm talking about.

Every man here is afraid

to go full contact with me.

I'm not a barbie doll.

Now come on!

Hit me.

417 in progress. Let's go.

Oh. Gotcha.

I'm going to go get my thermos.

Didn't you hear him?

A 417. Come on.

Oh.

Back off!

Situation?

Night Vulture suspect,

heavily armed.

He's got seven hostages

in that building.

- Demands?

- None.

- I'll go get my rifle.

- Wait.

Pissant's our ace in the hole.

You know the drill.

Take him out.

I'll blow his head off!

Now back off!

Back off!

God!

Sorry. Sorry.

I was just lining up the shot.

Hey, Nash Bridges,

you got the safety on.

Oh, my dog!

Man down!

I'll cover you.

A dog.

What are you doing?

It's dead.

Here. Hold this.

What?

This looks like

a collapsed esophagus.

I've seen Dr. Kipper

fix one of these before.

Fix what? Who's Dr. Kipper?

Think, Corky, think.

Got it. I got it, I got it.

You've been in an accident, but

you're going to be all right.

Now run along.

Run along, run along, run along.

That was amazing.

What was amazing?

What-what you just did.

You just saved that dog's life.

Pissant.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah. Sure.

Listen, how'd you do that?

That was really something.

Yeah?

Yeah. How did you-

Listen, you little sh*t.

You put my life on the line...

as well as every other agent

out there.

Now, first chance I get...

I am going to send you

straight to hell, you got that?

Hello, sir.

Pissant,

what the hell is going on here?

Sir. Ahem. It wasn't me.

It was the gun.

It was all funky.

What the hell

are you talking about?

Sir...

I think what Agent Pissant

is trying to say...

is that the perp's gun

was a fake.

And he's right. Look.

Pissant, you're a cowboy...

but you've got to keep

the team up to speed.

We're not used to an agent...

with that kind of passion

and attention to detail.

Oh...

I will do my best, sir.

Sir, hostages

are safe and accounted for.

This clown

is not the Night Vulture.

Should I take him in?

No, no, no, let Pissant do it.

It's his baby.

Uhh! Uhh!

Uhh!

- Poodles and pussies.

- Florence, hi.

How's Cousin Tony working out?

- What do you want?

- Can you help Jojo?

I think he's sick.

Yeah, sure, kid.

I'll fix him right up for you.

See, kid?

Jojo's all fixed up.

He just needed a new liver.

- How much?

- What do you got?

Keep up the good work, OK?

I'll be back lickety-split.

Bye, now.

Oh.

This will be love, because

I've had

The time ofmy life

And I've never felt

this way before

This, I swear

Is the truth

Sir, could you be a sport...

and open the door for me,

please, sir?

OK, I see.

Let me out ofhere!

And I'm going to-

Sir, could you please

not do that?

Sir?

Please don't do that.

Come on. Sir.

Come on. Don't do that.

Come on, sir.

Hello? Hey.

Look out for that truck.

Ow! Arm! Arm!

Excuse me. Sir.

Hi. How are you?

Sir! Please!

Yee-hoo! Yahoo!

Yaah!

Off of the car!

Hey, I got

a little problem here.

Hey,

ifl could get some help...

Uh, let me get a cup of

the rum raisin, then, please.

We don't have rum raisin, sir.

All our flavors

are listed on that sign.

All right, let me...

Give me a cup of the rocky road

there, then, please.

Hello? Please?

Hey, Paulie, come on already!

Shut up!

All right, just give me a cup

of the pistachio there.

The sign s-

What are you looking at,

pantywaist, huh?

You suck!

You suck, suck, suck!

The keys are right there.

If you could just...

turn off the car.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Whoa!

Cory, look out!

Get off of my car!

Don't put the-

Sir-

Aah!

What the hell is the matter

with you, dumbass?

You nearly got us killed.

What are you, retarded? Huh?

- What happened? You OK?

- Is everybody OK here?

- Oh, I'm fine.

- You OK?

I'm in control.

Just a little fender bender.

I'm totally in control.

What are you doing here?

All right, out of the car.

Come on, let's do it.

Assume the position.

Aw, come on!

Against the car.

What the hell

is all this stuff?

I'm helping my cousin move.

OK, boys,

tear this dago wagon apart.

Leave no seat unslashed.

Hold it!

What?

This guy just called me a dork.

- No, he didn't.

- No. Yeah, he did.

- I don't think he did.

- I saw-I read his lips.

This guy?

It's me. Corky. Hi.

On the ground, both of you!

All fours. All fours.

I got a little gift for you.

Sorry I didn't have time

to wrap it.

Pissant, take it easy.

People are watching.

Gahh!

Yeah!

Sniff that one, ass clowns!

Hey, Pissant, relax, man.

I mean, technically,

they didn't do anything wrong.

Get outta here!

Rarr!

What the hell are you doing?

Look, Davis, you're too soft.

Ahem. Sir.

- I'm sorry!

- Move it!

- Move it!

- Ow!

You're lucky there were

no chicks watching.

Now, did you at least

get the evidence?

No. I don't have it.

- Oh, for-

- You don't understand.

I am so close

that I can taste it.

- Where is it?

- I left it in the gym.

Christ, Corky,

what if somebody finds it?

No, it's OK!

It's in my briefcase!

It has my name... on it.

I ain't tellin' Pops.

The hospital says

he's getting worse.

They're sending a wet nurse

over here, Petey.

I think you mean

registered nurse.

Oh, really? Is that what

you think, Mr. Educated?

So now I'm the stupid one, huh?

Let me tell you something,

Corky.

When you was in vegetarian

school tugging llamas...

I was running numbers

for Pops, you understand me?

- Get outta here!

- Out!

And don't you come back-

Do not come back without

the evidence, you hear me?

All right, I'm going!

You know what?

Evidence! Evidence!

Hi, Corky.

Sorry. Sorry.

Looking for this?

I can explain.

- Explain it to Shuster.

- OK.

- How about now?

- Now's good.

Pissant, we need you ASAP.

- Not now. We're busy.

- This is priority.

A major heroin buy

is going down in Chinatown.

We think the Night Vulture's

supplying.

No.

That's a waste of time.

Get back to the planetarium

like I told you.

It's a virtual who's who

of Night Vulture suspects.

Sir, I don't know

who your source is...

but we've been

to the planetarium...

and it's on the level.

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