Creatures from the Pink Lagoon Page #3

quite a history, huh?

We've all had some

crazy adventures

since the last time

we sawyou.

What have you been up to?

Oh, you don't want to hear

about my boring old life.

Don't be silly!

I want to hear everything.

Maybe we can go

for a walk after I unpack.

That'd be swell!

Walk, shmalk!

You guys should

join me for a swim!

I'm in!

Maybe in 30 minutes.

You knowwhat they say.

Monogamy equals Monopoly!

No, silly!

No swimming right afteryou eat!

Good.

That'll give you boys

a chance to

clean up out here.

I'm gonna help

our birthday boy unpack.

Phillip, I don't want

to meddle...

but this Bobby character

is bad news.

Everyone keeps saying that,

but youjust haven't gotten

to knowhim yet.

Deep down, he is the sweetest,

most considerate man

I've ever been with!

Honey, we are your friends.

And we'rejust looking out

foryour well-being.

Howmuch do you

really knowabout this man?

I knowhe makes me happy.

I knowl tingle

when we're together

and I ache

when we're apart.

Mmm hmm.

You might try some

penicillin for that, Mary.

I'm serious.

I'm sorry, you're right.

It'sjust that I worry

about you.

You need to find somebody

that you can rely on.

You know, a man

that you can trust.

Someone like my Billy.

Wait.

What?

I thought I heard something.

Listen, I didn't want to tell

you this in front of everybody,

but Bobby...

Goodness!

Golly.

Gary.

Whose do you think it is?

I can't believe I touched it.

Touched it?

I was laying on it!

Laying?

Maybe it's part of some animal.

An animal?

With a thumb?

And a Timex?

What were you doing

laying down?

I think I'm gonna be sick!

What were you doing laying down?

We were getting some sun!

I don't think it's real.

The sun hasn't been out all day.

Oh, believe me, it's real.

Look at the bone there,

where the flesh has been

all chewed off.

I'm definitely gonna be sick.

Everyone, calm down!

We are gonna march

right back into the house

and call the proper authorities.

And Phillip, please be sick

in the bushes,

not in the house.

Hello, operator.

I need the police at once.

Yes, I'll hold the line.

Hold the line?

What do they mean,

hold the line?

They mean wait.

I knowwhat they mean!

What are we doing waiting?

We need to get out ofhere!

I'm not going out there with

some hungry thing on the loose.

It's probably not

very hungry any more.

Sorry.

Besides, we're not going

anywhere with that bridge out.

We could swim!

Hello, police?

This is Stanley Nelson,

at the old Johnson place.

Something horrible has happened!

Please come right away!

Someone's been mutilated,

and I think... eaten.

What's taking them so long?

Honey, the bridge is out.

They had to send

a beat cop on a bicycle.

Don't answer it!

Mary, relax!

It'sjust the police officer.

I'm Officer Harding.

Of course you are.

I'm investigating

an emergency call

received from this location.

Which one of you

is Stanley Nelson?

That's me, officer.

I'm the one who called.

And this is my house.

And it was...

William Luckinbill

who discovered

the human remains?

Actually, officer, that was me.

And William... Billy.

And you are?

My name is Gary.

The "R" is silent.

Gay... eee?

Jesus, it's a good thing

she's pretty.

It's Gary.

Gary LaTourneaux.

I found the arm.

And I can showyou exactly

where it is if you'd like.

Yes, that's a good idea.

The rest of you stay here.

I'll need to take statements

from all of you when I return.

Now showme this...

body part of yours.

Oh, brother.

Officer Hard-on

is in for quite a show.

Randall, hush!

How can you say such a thing

about your boyfriend

at a time like this?

I'm sure he'sjust

helping the nice lawman

with his investigation.

Oh, Jesus!

Not again.

You were right.

That one is a screamer.

That was no scream of passion.

I think Gary's in trouble!

Well, come on!

I can't see anything.

Well, they can't have

just disappeared.

Off playing detective somewhere,

no doubt.

You're looking

the wrong way.

Billy, where did you see

that severed arm?

Oh, God.

It was overthere.

Wait...

Is that them in the water?

That doesn't look like Gary.

Or Officer Harding.

I don't think

that's them at all!

The question is, who is it?

- Are those...?

- It can't be!

Zombies?

Zombies?!

Flesh-eating creatures

ofthe night?

Quiet!

They haven't seen us yet.

Oh, they look awfully hungry.

They must be responsible

forthat chewed-up arm we found.

Are we gonna stand around here

with our d*cks up our asses?

Let's get the hell out ofhere!

Careful!

We don't want to catch

their attention!

Christ!

Nice going, Martha Graham.

Sorry!

Oh, my god!

They're coming right for us!

Run!

Hold on a second!

I think those zombies

are homosexual!

What makes you say that?

Look!

Please stop screaming!

Well, they do have some

pretty good moves.

But gay zombies?

Mary, zombie or not,

I knowa show-tune-lovin'

friend of Dorothy

when I see one.

Lovely!

So they can do our hair

before they eat our brains!

Could we please go?

Inside, quick!

Lt'll be safe in here!

Hey...

How's it going?

You dropped your lighter.

Want me to get it for you?

Oh, OK.

Whoops.

Nowyou dropped...

Ewww!

Oh, my god!

They got Phillip!

Nooooo!

Turn away, honey.

Don't look.

Wait a second.

He's spitting Phillip out.

They don't like

the taste ofhim!

Finicky zombies.

You're right -

they are gay.

It's got to be

that Butch 22 cologne.

No self-respecting homo

would be caught dead

anywhere near it!

Or undead, apparently.

We've gotta get

Phillip out ofthere!

Honey, it's too late for him!

And we can't go back out there!

What ifit's a trick?

He'd do the same for any of us!

Even Randall?

Yes, even Randall!

I'm going out there

before another one ofthose

things tries to bite him!

C'mon, Phillip.

These zombies are gonna

have to find

someone else

to chew on!

Somebody, help me out here!

This walking corpse

is staining my woodwork!

I don't understand!

When that zombie bit me,

I thought I was a goner!

We think it's Bobby's

cologne.

The zombies must be

allergic to Butch 22!

Wait a second!

Phillip, open your

birthday present from me.

It's a Butch 22 gift pack!

It was ajoke!

A gag gift!

Just open it already!

And hurry!

They're getting in!

Jesus, Mary.

You think someone's

trying to tell you something?

It's the Tiffany bag!

He's in!

Hurry!

Somebody douse him!

Wow, it really works!

And I just had

this carpet steamed!

This door's not gonna hold.

We need to get out ofhere!

What are we gonna do?

Splash our way out?

There are too many ofthem!

Hold on.

I have an idea!

That's quite a collection.

I've never seen so many

all together like that.

Joseph, what are these for?

Well, I thought we could

get to know each other

by playing a game

of squirt tag this weekend.

Is that anything

like slap and tickle?

Nothing breaks the ice

like water sports!

No truer words were ever spoken.

Joseph, good thinking!

Phillip, bring those bottles

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