Daddy Day Care Page #7

Tony.

- Flash's name is Tony.

- Actually, Flash's name is Wally West...

- Why aren't you wearing your Flash suit?

- I don't want to be Flash anymore.

- You don't? Who you want to be?

- Tony.

- Hear that? He wants to be Tony.

- He wants to be Tony.

That's nice. You want to be Tony.

That's great.

Tony, have a cookie. Have a fresh one.

What are you talking about? I do love you.

I'm just not in love with you.

Fifteen months of therapy,

that's the best you can do?

That is the dumbest line I have ever heard.

My mother was right about you.

Wait.

For what? You think this will change?

You think I'll change?

You think this is what I had in mind?

Being a 55-year-old man,

living with his mother?

You think that's my idea of a good time?

I love passive-aggressive losers.

According to state regulations,

a child-care centre in a family home...

is limited to a maximum of 12 children.

- We have plenty of room here for these kids.

- I don't make the rules, I enforce them.

You can't have more than 12 kids

at this kind of location.

So if we want to stay in business,

we have to fire two kids.

Unless you want to move to a permanent

facility somewhere else, then yes.

So, who do we cut loose?

How about Becca and Jamie?

I can't do it.

We got to do something.

Why don't we get a bigger space?

"Space. The Final Frontier. "

I'm serious. Harridan said we're not real.

Let's get real.

Let's get a bigger space, more kids,

hire more people...

and give this woman a run for her money.

- Great. Let's get a new space.

- Yeah, Final Frontier!

If you don't stop with that Star Trek,

I'll push you in that sticker bush. Stop!

No! I'm saying that there is a space

available called "The Final Frontier. "

This used to be my home away from home.

Jerry, the guy who owned this place,

had the ultimate collection of memorabilia.

You know what he had? Tricorder.

That Ensign Riley wore

in The Doomsday Machine.

Yeah. I never saw that episode.

I was with him, not watching also.

Needs a lot of work.

That just means we can fix it up

how we want to fix it up.

But we'll need some money to do that.

To make money, you got to spend money.

To spend money, you got to have money.

"Rock for Daddy Day Care.

"Help us finance our new permanent home. "

Do you know what this means?

It's a chance to improve ourselves

through a little healthy competition?

No, you bubbleheaded idiot.

It's a death sentence.

If they get their hands

on a big enough space, they'll ruin me.

They're selling fun. I

can't compete with fun.

I should've crushed them

in the beginning when they were weak.

It'll be harder now, but I have no choice.

I've got to stop them.

How are you gonna do that?

By any means necessary.

Yeah, ride the pony.

Pet the goat.

Get a T-shirt made. Something to eat.

Enjoy the music!

- They're showing Logan's Run, Friday...

- Friday night at 8:00.

If you're not busy Friday nights...

- maybe you'd like to...

- Yeah, sure.

Great.

So we're talking, like,

just dinner, bath, bed?

- The works?

- What?

You want me to baby-sit

so you can go to the movie, right?

Marvin, I want you to go with me.

Okay.

- Okay. Great.

- All right. Here's your thing.

Thank you very much. Okay. There you go.

I don't think we should do this.

Jennifer, my dear, in life there are

winners and there are losers.

And if you want to be a winner,

sometimes you have to play dirty.

I'll show you. I'll paint my face first.

And then you paint yourself.

See? Put a little paint.

And I'm just going to...

What's wrong?

That's not paint! It's glue!

Could I have some more

of this delicious potato salad?

Have you tried it? Really. It is so good.

- What's up?

- Look.

And they got into everything

except for the pies.

Okay, but don't panic.

We'll just sell the people pies, that's all.

Wow. Goats really love pie.

Leave them on for two hours.

You got it.

Everybody just take a deep breath

and let's go back to having fun.

Okay?

- How'd we do?

- We haven't even put a dent in it.

- Hello?

- Charlie, Jim Fields.

How's your vacation going?

No, I'm just pulling your leg.

Listen, buddy,

are you still looking for work?

I've got a job for you,

unless you've got other offers.

No, that's really interesting.

But I've got something going on right now.

Before you say no,

let me fax you over the proposal.

You can take a look at the numbers,

you think about it...

then you get back to me.

- Yeah.

- Okay. Great.

You say hi to the wife and daughter... Son.

Let me guess. You couldn't get

child services to come back...

so you're doing the inspection.

I apologise. I don't like to be sneaky.

Still, rules are rules.

- May I come in? I've a proposition for you.

- Yeah, please do.

Can I get you some coffee or tea or water...

- or eye of newt, maybe?

- Water would be lovely.

- Thank you.

- Water. That's an easy one.

You don't mind tap water, do you?

We're out of the bottled water.

So, Miss Harridan, why are you here?

You seem smart, talented, highly ambitious.

What on earth are you doing

running a day care centre?

Maybe I enjoy running a day care centre.

Obviously. But is this really how you want

to spend the rest of your life?

As a businessman,

you'd have money, power, respect.

You going to throw that all away

to baby-sit a bunch of 3-year-olds?

I said I'd listen to your proposition.

I'm all ears, and I got other things to do.

- So if you'd be so kind...

- All right. Here it is:

If Daddy Day Care should close,

for whatever reason...

I'll take all your children

for the price you charge.

Topflight education at rock-bottom prices.

Think about it.

Now wait a minute.

You're blowing us off

for Cottony Cotton Balls?

No, Cotton Candy Puffs.

Apparently the whole thing was my idea.

They'll double my salary

and let me run the division.

So, yes, I am taking myself back.

Go ahead,

if that's what's important to you. I mean...

Phil and I can manage.

We'll just find somebody else. Right?

I'm going, too.

This is worse than

when Spock betrayed Kirk...

- on Star Trek V.

- It's not like that.

Come back with us. Not in the mailroom,

but to be part of our team.

I don't want to be on that team.

I want to be on this team.

We thought a lot about this, man.

It's a great opportunity.

No, this right here is a great opportunity.

This business is the one that has limits.

And we've reached them, okay?

Me and Phil,

we got responsibilities to think about.

- We got futures to take into consideration.

- What about now? What about the kids?

These kids were fine before Daddy Day Care.

- They'll be fine when it's over.

- You tell yourself that, Charlie.

I finally found a place where I fit in...

where I feel like I'm doing something good,

and you guys just...

You just spoil it all.

That couldn't have gone worse.

If you think that went bad,

wait till we tell the kids.

Can I go to work with you?

No, you can't go to work with me,

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