Deadpool Page #3

turns shots fired on the crosstown

expressway...

The sign sits on the perfectly manicured front lawn of thegorgeous Gothic X-MANSION.

VX8 INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS VX8

The X-Men’s COLOSSUS. A GOOD-NATURED GIANT with CHROME METAL

FOR SKIN. BIG AS A BARN. OTHER-WORLDLY STRONG. He is

sitting in the kitchen, eating a bowl of GRAPE NUTS andfinishing a SUDOKU, his attention suddenly drawn to aTELEVISION SCREEN:

REPORTER:

The assailant appears to be wearing a...

COLOSSUS REPORTER (CONT'D)

Red suit? Red suit.

With an audible CRACK, the pencil in Colossus’ thick fingers

snaps. He rises, muttering Russian curses and stalks fromthe kitchen.

VC8 INT. HANGAR - MOMENTS LATER VC8

Massive STEEL BLAST DOORS emblazoned with a huge “X” slideopen to reveal COLOSSUS. He walks quickly and purposefullytowards a big plane in the center of the huge space: the

BLACKBIRD, the X-Men’s modified XR-71 jet transport.

Struggling to keep up with the giant’s long strides is asupernaturally CUTE, supernaturally DEADPAN 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL,

in an X-MEN outfit. NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD.

COLOSSUS:

I’ve given Deadpool every chance to join

us. And what is my reward? More

immaturity and criminality! When will he

finally grow up and see benefits of

becoming X-Man?

NTW:

Like... The house that blows up every few

years? The fashion-forward jump-suits?

I need to get myself kicked out of X-

School.

COLOSSUS:

But I thought you were at top of class.

(CONTINUED)

Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 11.

VC8 CONTINUED:
VC8

NTW:

Was that sarcasm? Awesome.

COLOSSUS:

You ate breakfast, yes? Breakfast is

most important meal of day.

(hands NTW a protein bar)

Here. Protein bar, good for bones.

Deadpool may try to break yours.

NTW shoves the bar in a pocket of her coat without breakingstride.

9 EXT. FREEWAY OVERPASS - MORNING 9

The S.U.V. slides to a halt ON ITS SIDE, PASSENGER WINDOWS

UP. The rest of the CONVOY is forced to stop BEHIND.

A BUNCH of MEN PILE OUT, each one carrying a BEASTLY GUN andPOINTING it STRAIGHT at the disabled S.U.V.

The last noise is made by one final dislodged HUBCAP, whichrattles in little circles until it lies FLAT on the freeway.

TWO SILENT BEATS. Then we hear the soft, ELECTRIC BUZZ of

the Escalade’s middle passenger window ROLLING DOWN. Up popsthe HEAD of DEADPOOL, like the GOPHER in Caddyshack.

BANG BANG BANG BANG.

DEADPOOL:

Wait, wait...

The head drops, the hands come up. BANG.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Wait! You’re probably wondering. Why the

red suit? It’s so bad guys can’t see me

bleed. This guy has the idea. He wore

the brown pants.

(to camera)

All together now...

The THUGS immediately OPEN FIRE.

Deadpool is already leaping upward, flipping backwards,

bullets tearing the air beneath him as he pulls out those TWOMASSIVE .50 CAL PISTOLS... and in slo-mo, RETURNS FIRE.

Deadpool keeps count of every bullet he fires:

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Twelve..!

(CONTINUED)

Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 12.

9 CONTINUED:
9

A SHELL-CASING is EJECTED. We enter EXTREME SLO-MO and SWOOP

IN on the shell as it TUMBLES through the air...

...revealing the number ‘00012’ ETCHED in a semi-circle onits butt end. Deadpool FIRES the second pistol. We move

instantly to the second shell: ‘00011’

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Eleven...

FULL SPEED. The first TWO THUGS get a MOUTHFUL of BULLET.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Ten...

ANOTHER SHOT. A THUG takes one in the HEART. The other

thugs POUR LEAD into the disabled S.U.V.

Deadpool LEAPS UP and OUT of the window, rising ABOVE theincoming shots, then LANDING SAFELY BEHIND the Escalade.

Deadpool TURNS to SPY a MOTORCYCLE RIDER BEARING DOWN ON HIM.

This rider wears a distinctive SILVER HELMET.

Deadpool raises BOTH pistols. This RIDER LEANS away, dodgingeach slug. First left, then right, then left.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Nine. Sh*t! Eight. F***! Seven. Sh*t-

f***!

The bike WHIZZES PAST safely, firing bullets, DEADPOOLfollows, leaping high, flipping over the S.U.V.

He lands smoothly the other side, right BEHIND a thug who’slooking in the other direction as he sneaks around the car.

Deadpool SHRUGS and SHOOTS him in the BACK of the HEAD atPOINT BLANK RANGE.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Six.

The shell tumbles to the ground, falls still. ‘00006’

Deadpool opens the Escalade. His target is NOT THERE.

BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG. Deadpool is nearly BROUGHT DOWN bya particularly big thug with a particularly big AK-47.

He dives behind another Escalade, takes a moment to search

the interior through the windows... and then flinches as AK47

bullets pass THROUGH the skin of the S.U.V. around him.

(CONTINUED)

Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 13.

9 CONTINUED:
(2) 9

One of the bullets lands in DEADPOOL’S BICEP. Deadpoolyelps, in pain... then stuffs some of his torn red suitfabric into the hole to staunch the bleeding.

Then he scrambles AROUND the S.U.V., trying to close thedistance to this guy through a WITHERING BARRAGE of fire.

Another of the AK’s slugs SLICES a swath out of the mask onDeadpool’s head, SINGING his hair.

DEADPOOL.

F***. You.

Deadpool lands in FRONT of the thug. The thug pulls histrigger again, only to - CLICK - realize he’s OUT of BULLETS.

DEADPOOL:

Someone’s not counting. Cinco.

The bullet HITS the thug in the throat. ‘00005’

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Me gusta cinco.

Deadpool STRIDES past the fallen thug, pawing at his singedhair - ow - and then out of sheer, pumped-up ANGER...

...turns and PUMPS TWO MORE SUPERFLUOUS BULLETS into him.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

Four. Three. Stupid. Worth it.

The SILVER-HELMETED MOTORCYCLE RIDER makes another pass,

FIRING. Deadpool ducks behind the S.U.V. again.

20 yards away, a GROUP of thugs TAKE COVER behind the final

S.U.V. One pulls out a HAND-GRENADE, RAISES HIS ARM tothrow.

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

(chuckles)

Number two...

Deadpool FIRES, SHOOTING the GRENADE in the thug’s FIST.

BOOM! The whole CLUSTER of THUGS drops.

Deadpool emerges from behind the S.U.V., feeling victorious.

He approaches the final S.U.V. and throws open the doors to

search, expecting to find his target at last.

Inside is a rumpled orange prison coverall, but NOT the

PRISONER. Deadpool gets childishly angry.

(CONTINUED)

Deadpool Final Shooting Script 11/16/15 14.

9 CONTINUED:
(3) 9

DEADPOOL (CONT’D)

What the sh*t-biscuit! Where you at,

Francis?

Worse, CLICK-CLACK. The distinctive COCKING of SHOTGUNS.

3 final THUGS stand on the freeway, lined up perpendicular to

Deadpool, SHOULDER-TO-SHOULDER, FIRING BENELLI COMBATSHOTGUNS. BAM! BAM! BAM!

Deadpool ducks behind the S.U.V. and raises a PISTOL. We

ZOOM IN through the CHAMBER to spy the last BULLET, POISED infront of the FIRING PIN:

‘00001’

Deadpool thinks, then LEAPS from behind the ‘SCLADE, TWISTSforward and right.

All 3 THUGS FIRE again. BUCKSHOT rips into DEADPOOL’s BACK.

But he LANDS so that all 3 men are now parallel to him...

...in A SINGLE-FILE LINE.

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