Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts Page #3

[Thomas]:
*chuckles* Okay, so I can't stop him! *laughs* Awesome news!

[Duke]:
*clapping* It is, isn't it?!

[Logan]:
But-

[Thomas]:
But either way, you are NOT Creativity!

[Patton]:
Yeah. That is the brave, [music starts playing] handsome, unbeatable Roman!

[Roman]:
*mumbling* No, mommy, I don't want the mashed potatoes.

[Thomas]:
Creativity is about butterflies and- magic. That's not you! You're-

[Duke]:
Stinky?!?

[Thomas]:
Scary...

[Duke]:
*gasps* Me? Scary?! No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That sounds like a YOU problem. Or a HIM problem.

[Logan]:
Thomas, like it or not, the Duke does encompass a portion of your imagination.

[Patton]:
Imaginative sure is a- a kind word for him.

[Duke]:
I agree! How about... DEMENTED?

[Virgil]:
Why are you defending him?

[Logan]:
I'm... not. I'm just trying to be intellectually honest with Thomas.

[Duke]:
Ehh, sounds like bulls**t, this dork's Deceit in disguise!

[Patton]:
NO!

[Thomas]:
WHAT? Again?! Deceit, SHOW YOURSELF!

[Logan]:
N-no, it's, um... It's actually me.

[Duke]:
*chuckles* I knew that! I don't know if you guys can tell, but I'm a little silly.

[Virgil]:
Then why are you lying?

[Logan]:
*scoffs* Lying?

[Virgil]:
You just said the Duke is Thomas' imagination.

[Patton]:
Yeah! Unlike a certain... potty-mouth in this room, imagination is good!

[Duke]:
Did you guys know that "dork' means whale penis? I called Logan a whale penis is what I'm saying.

[Logan]:
Thomas, you have to understand that life is not so... black and white, as they say.

[Thomas]:
B-b-but- the Duke and the Prince literally wear the black and the white!

[Logan]:
Yes, but they're YOUR sides. That's how YOU see them.

[Duke]:
(distorted, as Joan) That's not the only way he sees me!

[Thomas]:
Gahh! Please! Leave Joan out of this.

[Duke]:
(undistorted, still as Joan) Oh! What's that?

[Thomas]:
That- w- is something Joan would do. Why would I even have TWO Creativities, anyway? Why isn't Roman all-encompassing?

[Logan]:
Because of your view of creativity and imagination as a purely good force. At a young age, you filed away products of your imagination as either welcome or forbidden. This led to the development of two separate sides of your creativity.

[Thomas]:
Wait- so... my Creativity split in two?

[Patton]:
Into what?

[Duke]:
Into a butthole?

[Logan]:
Into two parts during your development, yes. Like an ovum. The Duke is like Roman's twin. The embodiment of "bad imagination". Which is primarily experienced by you via intrusive thoughts.

[Duke]:
You made me this way, Thomas. I was the unloved brother from the Genesis. Roman and I... are Cain and Abel. And that cane up your BUTT makes you unable to explore more mature ideas in your content!

[Thomas]:
What is it with you and butts?

[Duke]:
♪ Hey Prude, your art is bad. ♪

[Thomas]:
You're attacking my livelihood now?

[Logan]:
Thomas' friends and family is one thing, but his work? Is nothing sacred?

[Thomas]:
Yeah! Wait, what about my friends and family?

[Duke]:
Oh, I'm sorry! Did you forget the part where I'm your creativity? Obviously, I have opinions on the matter.

[Virgil]:
But are they opinions that matter?

[Patton]:
Especially if they're hurting you!

[Duke]:
For someone who prefers salty flavors, your videos are rather saccharine. What will your legacy be? Will you even have one? How 'bout this: you get butt-naked on camera and self-immolate to Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off"? Now, that'll leave an impression.

[Thomas]:
Wow! I h- hate him, I hate him.

[Duke]:
Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

[Thomas]:
I wouldn't WANT my legacy to be subjecting people to something they didn't wanna see!

[Duke]:
Why not? That's life! People seeing, hearing, and experiencing things they'd raaather not see, hear, or experience.

[Thomas]:
Maybe so! But I don't wanna add to life's unpleasantness.

[Duke]:
Oh, so you're going to baby them? Do you wanna rock the cradle, Daddy? Rock the cradle in the treetop?

[Logan]:
Why IS the cradle in a treetop?

[Patton]:
No one knows.

[Logan]:
Irresponsible parenting.

[Duke]:
OR, do you want to be the wind that causes the cradle to fall? And then the baby... dies!

[Thomas]:
That's horrible!

[Duke]:
Look, pleasant metaphors aren't really my strong suit.

[Virgil]:
You have a strong suit?

[Duke]:
I do! My birthday suit.

[Virgil]:
Ugh, okay. Well...

[Duke]:
Okay! New metaphor: Nudging the baby bird to leave the nest and take flight.

[Thomas]:
Okay! There! Yes! That's it! Oh, maybe there's hope for you after all!

[Virgil]:
Wait for it...

[Duke]:
And the baby bird immediately flies STRAIGHT into an unseen jet turbine and causes the entire plane to come crashing down! *maniacal laughter* And no one survives!

*more maniacal laughter*

[Thomas]:
What is your deal?

[Duke]:
*sighs* What is MY deal? Uhhh, b**ch, what is your deal? I'm YOUR Creativity. What does that say about you?

[Thomas]:
*sputters* m- MY deal?

[Patton]:
Thomas doesn't have a deal!

[Duke]:
If I have a deal, then Thomas has a deal. Deal or no deal?

[Patton]:
W- uh,... Roman is Thomas's Creativity, too. So uh-

[Duke]:
Do I need to remind you of what Thomas was thinking about last night?

[Everyone screams]

[Duke]:
I just did what I do as one of Thomas's sides. If I am awful, *blows kiss* then so is Thomas.

[Virgil]:
Not all thoughts have some... profound meaning behind them! Some are worthless.

[Duke]:
*scoffs* Virgil, you've never been one to soften the truth. Why would you aspire to be so... boring?

[Patton]:
Those thoughts weren't Thomas!

[Duke]:
So, what? Thomas thought someone else's thoughts? Do we have ourselves a classic case of brain swap?

[Patton]:
...maybe...?

[Virgil]:
He's right.

[Patton]:
Really?!

[Virgil]:
Not you. The Duke.

[Patton]:
Oh.... whaaa?!

[Virgil]:
The reality is, you thought those thoughts, Thomas.

[Patton]:
No... oh, no. IS Thomas a bad person?

[Thomas]:
WHY do you keep asking that?!

[Virgil]:
We still haven't gotten an answer. *sighs* He hasn't acted on any of the thoughts yet. So at least there's that.

[Logan]:
Okay-

[Virgil]:
But there's definitely something wrong with him. And unfortunately, he's not the naturally good person that you wish he was, Patton.

[Patton]:
But-But Thomas always tries to put others before himself, we've all seen it!

[Virgil]:
Yeah, he can ACT like a good person, just like Deceit can act like you. We've also seen that… doing what he thinks is right can... be pretty difficult for him.

[Logan]:
Okay, you two are blowing this WAY out of proportion.

[Virgil]:
Logan, I'm sorry, but Thomas can't Logic his way out of this one. Facts are facts. And the fact is: Thomas had twisted thoughts that a stable person would never have.

[Logan]:
Actually, a "stable person", as you put it, could absolutely have those thoughts.

[Duke]:
Shut your mouth, or I'll tear off your nipples and shove them up your nose.

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