Dear Dracula Page #3

creature in the world.

You just need to believe it

so everyone else can see.

But, Sam, I'm a relic.

I'm yesterday's ghoul.

(SIGHS)

Don't worry, Count,

I'll help you get back on top.

KIDS:
Trick or treat!

Here you go.

- Happy Halloween.

- (KIDS LAUGH)

Hi, Sam.

Uh, hi, Emma.

Your house looks really cool

this year.

I like the skeleton hands

coming up through the ground.

- Nice touch.

- Uh, thanks!

So, have you decided if you're

coming to my party later?

Uh, I don't know.

Your friends seem like...

you know.

Oh, don't worry about them.

Come on, it'll be fun.

And you can bring your friends.

Oh, Emma, this is the Count.

Yeah, I can see that.

Well, Count,

maybe you can hypnotise Sam

and command him

to come to my party.

Uh, I, uh...

(LAUGHS)

- I...

- (LAUGHS)

Sam, I don't understand.

You're more afraid of some kids

than you are of me,

the scariest creature

to ever roam the earth?

How can that be?

Look, everyone thinks

I'm strange.

Not everyone, apparently.

Emma seems to like you.

Yeah, but her friends think

I'm a weirdo.

Let's face it, I'll never be

one of the cool kids.

Hogwash!

(CHITTERS)

Sam, the reason people say

these things

is because they fear

what they don't know.

And they don't know you.

So change it.

Here, let's make a deal.

You help me get

my scariness back

and I'll you show people

what Sam is all about.

Deal?

Deal.

Alright, Count,

welcome to Sam's

monster-building boot camp

for vampires.

- Are you ready?

- Sir! Yes, sir!

Now, tell me what you see

when you look in the mirror.

- What?

- 'What' nothing!

Tell me what you see!

(COUNTAND MIRROE GUFFAW)

Oh.

(LAUGHS) Right.

But if you could see yourself,

you'd see that you're not

the scariest creature out there.

That changes tonight.

Yes, sir.

I can't hear you, vampire.

Sir! Yes, sir!

Sir! Yes! Sir! Master!

Uh, just the Count, Mirroe.

(STAMMERS)

Yes, Drill Sergeant Sam.

Oh, sorry, Drill Sergeant, Sam.

Forgive me, Master.

- Old habits...

- (CLATTERING)

OK, now, Count,

show me your shadow.

What do you mean?

Everyone knows vampire shadows

take on a life of their own

to amplify their scariness.

Show me your shadow, Count,

and make it scary.

Alright. But it's been a while.

(SCARY ORGAN MUSIC)

Uh?

(SAM GROWLS)

Show me your fangs.

(HISSES)

Come on, now,

my grandma's dentures

have more bite

than those little baby fangs.

Again.

- (STOPWATCH TICKS)

- OK, and vanish.

And appear!

You've gotta do better

if you're gonna terrify someone,

Count.

- Again.

- (STOPWATCH TICKS)

Vanish!

And appear!

That's more like it.

Let's put it all together now.

Show me the combo platter

of fright.

Go, Master. Go, Master.

Go! Go! Go, Master!

Ready? Set?

Vanish! Appear!

- Shadow!

- (SNARLS)

- Fangs!

- (HISSES)

- Let's change it up. Fangs!

- Arrr!

- Shadow.

- (SNARLS)

Vanish and appear!

What are you?

I'm a lean, mean

monster machine.

How do you feel?

I feel like I could devour

the whole town

with one fang tied

behind my back.

That's the Count Dracula

I know and fear.

Master's back! Master's back!

Mirroe, why don't you

check on Granny

while I have a little chat

with Sam?

My pleasure, Master.

Now, then, Sam, it's my turn.

I have much to teach you

in ways of confidence

before tonight's big soiree.

Nah, it's just a party.

And I didn't say I was going.

What? Of course you're going.

And you're going to show Emma

that you're worthy

of her friendship.

But I don't have a costume.

Don't worry, I've already

taken care of that.

What you need is a crash course

on how to fit in.

Sam, tell me what makes you you.

Well, I'm a little odd,

I suppose.

You know, like, misunderstood.

OK, I'm going to put

a different spin on that.

You say

'odd' and 'misunderstood'

where I would say

'bold' or 'independent'

and not afraid to be yourself.

- What else?

- Ah, let's see.

I'm a monster-movie geek.

OK, now turn that

into a positive.

Um, OK, I'm a...

- Classic...

- Gotcha.

Uh... I'm a classic horror movie

enthusiast?

Not bad.

Try 'aficionado' instead.

I'm a classic horror movie

aficionado.

(WONDROUS MUSIC)

- Hey!

- You see?

With a fresh perspective,

you've gone from being

a boring, alienated kid

to the most interesting guy

in the whole town.

OK, that's all great.

But what if I choke?

Huh?

Look, if worst comes to worst,

I'll tell you what to say.

But, really, Sam,

all you need to do

is sink your fangs in

and don't let go.

Show people who you really are.

Now, let's go see

about that costume.

(CHITTERS)

Oh! Thank you,

my little friend.

You're very kind.

(DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS)

Hey, what's going on?

Here you go, Sam.

I'm not exactly sure what it is

or why I did it

but I thought you'd need this

for Emma's party.

- Now, go try it on.

- OK. Thanks!

- (KIDS SHOUTAND LAUGH)

- GIRL:
Trick or treat.

Can I have some candy, please?

- (DRACULA LAUGHS)

- SAM:
So what do you think?

Doesn't Sam look like

a real ghoul?

A picture of fright.

I'm so proud.

Everything is coming together

so nicely

on this Halloween eve.

KIDS:
Trick or treat.

But something is missing

and I can't quite put

my finger on it.

- (CHITTERS)

- Hey, Webber.

Oh, OK.

Ready, everyone?

One, two, three!

(ELECTRICITY BUZZES)

Oh, Master, look.

Look.

Ah! Now it's Halloween.

Webber, that's the best yet.

Way to go, little buddy.

Mirroe,

you take good care of Grams

while we're at the party, OK?

But of course, Sam.

Oh, boy, fresh victims.

Boo!

(ALL SCREAM)

Mommy!

- I'm good.

- Maybe a little too good.

(KIDS SCREAM)

Scared you, didn't it? Yes?

I knew it!

(HIP-HOP STYLE) Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.

The Count is back!

Mirroe, bring these delightful

trick-or-treaters some candy.

And don't be stingy.

Yes, Master.

Right away, Master.

I feel more undead

than I have in centuries.

Lookin' good, Count.

Sam, if you don't mind,

I'd like to try out my new bite.

(LAUGHS) I'll see you

at Emma's.

And remember,

sink your fangs in and...

Don't let go.

- Wish me luck.

- You won't need it, good fella.

(SQUAWKS)

(KIDS CHATTER AND LAUGH)

GIRL:
I love your costume!

- It's so cool!

- BOY:
Yeah.

Whoa. Cool costume, Emma.

OK, Sam, you can do this.

Just be yourself.

Like Count Dracula said.

(SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT)

(GIRL SCREAMS) Look at you!

Wicked costume, Em. Not exactly

what we all agreed to, though.

Yeah, I know,

but that wasn't really me.

I needed to put a little

classic fright night into it.

Well, what are we waiting for, girls?

Let's get this party started!

(SISTER SQUEALS)

Sam?

Come on, Emma!

(SIGHS) Real good, Sam.

Way to sink your fangs in.

Ugh, this was a dumb idea.

I'm going home.

And where do you think

you're going?

Home.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We had a deal, Sam,

and I refuse to let you

back out now.

You're coming with me.

(LAUGHS)

(ALL CHATTER AND LAUGH)

Hey, Kirk, over here!

Cool costume.

Thanks. What are you

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote