Death At A Funeral Page #5

What do you mean

it doeasn't matter?

It's personal.

Why?

He said it's personal.

But why?

Just trust us.

This is not a good guy.

So, what are we gonna

do with him?

- What're we gonna do?

- I don't know.

What do you mean

you don't know?

Shut up Daniel.

I've had enough.

How long is the valium

gonna last?

What is it?

- Valium?

- Yeah.

Yeah, i found those valium.

We gave him a few to calm him

down. Thank you.

Sh*t.

What is it?

What's wrong?

F***!

What?

Thing is...

...it's not really valium.

It's mostly acid.

What?!

Simon took one by mistake, that's

why he's acting like this.

And what are you doing with this?

They're for a friend.

Wait a minute.

You're telling us that..

Martha's boyfriend who knocked over

dad's coffin had just 1 of these things

And you gave him how many?

You can't blame me for this.

Poor bastard.

We should call an ambulance.

Can't do that.

You'll be screwed.

They're gonna find out he's been

force-fed hard drugs.

What's gonna happen?

Is he gonna die?

No.

That is, i don't think so.

Daniel?

Robert?

We'll be out in a

minute, mom.

We need to go outside.

You two stay here

and look after him.

Look after him?

What do you mean?

What're we supposed to do?

Make sure he doesn't escape.

Lock the door behind us.

Hi mom.

How's it going?

Revenant Davis needs to

speak to you.

Can we resume the service now?

I need to leave

until 3.

Yes, that's great. But we

need to have a chat.

So can we take 5 more minutes?

- Of course.

- Is there a problem?

Jesus.

Why didn't you just pay him

the f***ing money?

Where's my tea?

What's your problem?

Women.

Women, women...

Let me tell you something

about women.

When I was a young man...

...i use to go out with the most

beautiful woman in the village.

She'd walk into the room

and everyone's eyes would turn.

Everyone wanted to f*** her.

And of course she

liked the attention...

I have to take a sh*t.

I can't believe you gave

him 5 pills.

Who can we blame for this?

Even if it was valium, you should never

give him 5. Don't you know anything?

No, i don't know about

giving pills.

Hello?

Yes?

I need the toilet.

Could you use the

one upstairs?

I'm on a wheelchair you

f***ing idiot.

How am i supposed

to get upstairs?

Open the door.

Wait a minute.

God.

What do we do?

Put him behind the couch.

We're looking for the key.

Hurry.

Shut up!

Hurry up!

Coming.

Hello.

What the hell is wrong

with you people?

I'm about to sh*t

in my trousers.

Come on.

Justin, what is it now?

Just want to talk to you.

Please don't make me go

through this again.

What are you so afraid

of, Martha?

I know you feel the same way.

You can't fight what

we had together.

Justin, it was one night,

it was a massive mistake.

I was drunk and out of my mind.

It could have been a donkey.

What's he got that

i don't have?

Okay.

For one thing, he's responsible...

...he's thoughtfull,

he's intelligent...

...he's stable...

Is that enough for you?

Stop acting as if this is

all my fault.

I'm not the one who attacked the guy

and tied him up.

Someone had to look out

for mom.

I've been looking out mom

since you dissapeared...

...and went to New York...

...to fool around with your

celebrity friends.

You're really unbelievable.

You can't get over it,

can you?

Get over what?

You're burning with jealousy...

...because you spend 3 years

working on a novel...

...and you won't even let

anyone see it.

And why should I?

What will you do?

Wait until you're dead?

And hope that it

gets published?

You just write

common crap.

It's not crap.

You're a hypocrite.

And you're the most selfish...

Daniel, what's going on?

This is your father's funeral.

Not now, Jane.

Why are you acting like this?

Jane, not now...

It's about the flat

isn't it?

What?

Because you don't want to go

do you?

Jane...

Tell her Daniel.

Tell me what?

Jane, do you remember

that short...

...man, that i pointed at

earlier?

- You remember?

- Yes.

It turns out, he had an affair

with dad.

And now he's blackmailing us

into giving him 15.000 pounds...

...or else he's going to show the

pictures where they're doing...stuff.

- Sex stuff.

- Yeah.

Is this some short

of a sick joke?

Of course it's not a sick joke.

Your father was gay?

- Hurry up.

- I am...

Hurry up.

I'm going to go!

Hurry up!

- Quick.

- Give me that.

Lift me.

Help me.

I am.

Put your arms around me.

Lift me.

Christ!

You weigh a ton

- You got me?

- Yes i've got you.

Sure i got you.

Quickly!

Alright. I'm trying to see

where the toilet is.

Get my trousers down.

Sh*t...

No, you do it.

I'll hold you.

How can i do it?

I'm handicapped.

Get it down!

F***

- Hurry up

- I am

Alright, do it.

Underpants, underpants...

Move it, come on.

Quick, quick...

I have to go

I have to go...

it's down.

Everything is down!

- Over there?

- i don't know.

Over there?

Yes.

- Are you sure?

- Yes sit down!

- Sure?

- Sit down!

Sit down!

Wait!

Wait a moment!

Oh, that's better.

God.

God!

What's with all the noise?

Oh God!

Howard?

Howard?

Please. Clean up!

Howard?

What?

You missed a bit.

The sh*t in your mouth will be the least

to worry about if we get caught.

I've got sh*t in my mouth?

Check him. Touch him.

Are you alright mate?

try again.

Mate?

Mate?

Wake him up.

Mate.

What's his name?

I don't know.

try Philip.

Philip?

Philip?

Wake up mate.

Are you okay?

Sh*t

Philip?

He might not be a Philip.

Maybe something else.

Pinch him.

Please.

Pinch him.

Mate?

I think he's breathing.

What?

He must be breathing.

Sh*t.

- Is he okay?

- No.

He's dead.

If that's the way it is,

we have to give him the money.

It's not that simple.

Why not?

Daniel refused to pay, so...

...we're completely f***ed.

Just shut up.

Sorry.

Hi, sorry, may i come through?

Just getting through.

Thank you.

Why are you smiling like that

Howard?

i wonder if i could

ask you too...

...come to the study for a second?

We'll be back soon.

Alright.

It's Howard.

Jesus.

What is this?

It's...

Call uncle Victor.

No point.

What do you mean?

Look at him.

He's stone dead.

What the hell did

you do to him?!

We didn't do anything.

He hit his head on the corner.

Hit his head on the corner?

He hit his head. That's what happened.

Why? What do you think?

This is really bad.

This is really, really bad.

What're we gonna do?

Actually, i really got to go.

You're not going anywhere.

I can't go to prison.

You have any idea what they do to

blockes like me in prison?

I can't go to prison

Howard. Just calm down.

Now...

Nobody here knows, who this

guy is right?

They don't even

know his name.

Probably didn't even

notice him.

Didn't notice him?

He's 4 f***ing feet tall.

Alright. We'll just get rid of the body

as if he came and left.

Get rid of the body?

What are you talking about?

What do we know about

getting rid of bodies?

What are you gonna do. Will you

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