Death to Smoochy Page #3

As seamstresses fit him with the new Smoochy costume,

various signs and billboards FLOAT THROUGH the FRAME,

trumpeting copy like: "IT'S ALMOST SMOOCHY TIME!"

"GET READY TO BE SMOOCHED, AMERICA!" "ONLY TWO MORE

WEEKS TILL SMOOCHY!"

KIDNET STUDIO -C.

Sets, props, and camera equipment are rolled into thestudio. Through a SERIES of DISSOLVES we see theSmoochyland Magic Jungle take shape.

KIDNET STUDIO -C - LATER

A choreographer maps out a number for Smoochy and the"Rhinettes." (The Rhinettes are the former Krinkle Kidlittle people with horns strapped to their foreheads.)

(CONTINUED)

13.

CONTINUED:

Nora and Stokes watch from the wings with a mixture ofuncertainty and disgust.

DISSOLVE BACK TO:

WARDROBE ROOM:

A seamstress zips up the back of the finished, redesignedSmoochy costume. Sheldon stands proudly before thedesign team. Smoochy is now television ready: smoothed

out, more colorful, less lumpy and exuding sunshinyhappiness.

DISSOLVE TO:

STUDIO -C - BACKSTAGE

Smoochy is about to enter with the Rhinettes. ANGELO, a

former Krinkle Kid, stands beside him.

SMOOCHY:

Angelo, you were always my favoriteKrinkle Kid. The way you'd clickyour heels during the 'JellybeanJam.' Real artistry. I'm honored

to have you as a Rhinette.

ANGELO:

A job's a job.

STUDIO -C - PRACTICE TAPING

Suddenly lights up in all its multi-colored Smoochylandglory. The bleachers are full of children.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.)

Hey, kids! Who's your favoriterhino?

The kids in the bleachers all scream in unison.

KIDS:

Smoochy!

Smoochy bounds out on stage followed by the Rhinettes whoform a dancing circle around him.

SMOOCHY:

Hiya, kids!

(CONTINUED)

14.

CONTINUED:

KIDS:

Hi, Smoochy!

SMOOCHY:

It's gonna be a fantabulous day inSmoochyland!!

The kids cheer as Smoochy and the Rhinettes featuring AngeloPike, go into their "It's a Fantabulous Day in Smoochyland"

number -- a catchy, bouncy song and dance routine that plays outin the sugar-coated jungle of Smoochyland.

SMOOCHY:

(singing)

'Ohhhh... it's a fantabulous dayin Smoochy-land/Let's have a greatbig cheer for the Smoochy-landband/We'll dance with our junglepals, won't that be grand/Oh, it'sa fantabulous day in Smoochyland!'

Smoochy dances right UP TO the CAMERA, FILLING the FRAMEwith his friendly, puffy face.

END of prep MONTAGE.

EXT. DOCK BY RIVER - NIGHT (POURING RAIN)

A disheveled Randolph paces on a deserted dock. The

Brooklyn Bridge looms in the b.g. A car pulls up in the

b.g. Stokes gets out. Randolph moves under an awning.

RANDOLPH:

I was starting to think that maybeyou weren't coming.

STOKES:

I agreed to meet you, didn't I? I

had a dinner engagement.

Randolph takes a swig from a flask.

RANDOLPH:

Really? You know, I used to have

dinner engagements. Sometimes

four, five a night. Dinner...

drinks... I was the toast of the

f***ing town.

STOKES:

Don't start, Randolph. Please.

(CONTINUED)

15.

CONTINUED:

RANDOLPH:

(voice rising)

Cars, boats, whores and horses, I

had 'em all. When I walked into a

restaurant, ten guys reached for

my hat. When I stood up to take a

piss, they cleared the rest room.

I'd walk down the street and

traffic stopped, mouths gaped.

You know why? You know why,

Frank?

(now shouting)

I was Rainbow f***ing Randolph!

That's why!

STOKES:

Are you through?

RANDOLPH:

What? You're in a hurry? You

don't have time for me? The guy

who earned for you? The guy who

put those f***ing suits on your

back and the pheasant au vin in

your Brooklyn mouth?

STOKES:

I think it's fair to say we helped

each other.

Randolph suddenly breaks down.

RANDOLPH:

(pleading)

You gotta fix it, Frank. You

gotta get me my slot back.

He now clings to Stokes' lapels.

RANDOLPH:

How can I sit around while that

rhinoceros... that horned

carpetbagger gets a free ride on

my dime? You and I have history,

Frank! Please!

Stokes pries Randolph's hands from his overcoat.

STOKES:

There's nothing I can do for you.

Nothing. You're a pariah. I

can't even be seen with you.

(CONTINUED)

16.

CONTINUED:

RANDOLPH:

Don't do this to me, Frank. I'm in

deep, deep sh*t. They kicked me outof the corporate penthouse... I gotbookies breathing down my neck.

I'm homeless! Don't you hear whatI'm saying? I'm not gonna make it!

The clock's ticking! Put yourselfin my shoes, for Christ's sake!

STOKES:

The ugly truth is, your shoes havebecome my shoes. As long as therhino's on the air, everything'sby the book. No skim, no

percentage. Nothing. The network

wanted squeaky clean and they gotit. And believe me, Mopes issparkling.

He looks Randolph squarely in the eye.

STOKES:

You're totally broke? You don't

have a dime left to your name?

RANDOLPH:

Yes! Exactly! That's what I'm

trying to tell you!

Randolph looks at him hopefully as Stokes straightens histie.

STOKE:

Don't contact me again, Randy.

Ever.

Stokes walks off. Randolph watches him disappear throughthe mist.

RANDOLPH:

You'll get yours, Frank! The rhino

too! Do you hear me?! The wheels

are turning!

Stokes is gone. Randolph takes a swig from his flask andwipes his chin with his sleeve. He stares out at the

river.

RANDOLPH:

(quietly to

himself)

Sooner or later, even a guy who'ssqueaky clean falls into mud.

THUNDER CLAP.

17.

EXT. DOCK - HIGH OVERHEAD SHOT

of the docks as Randolph stands alone before the river.

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

INT. NORA BISHOP'S OFFICE - CLOSE ON LITTLE MECHANICAL

SMOOCHY THE RHINO - DAY

as it erratically limps forward before DROPPING OUT OFFRAME.

WIDER:

The wind-up Smoochy lays upside-down on the carpet nextto Nora's desk, legs grinding lamely in the air. Various

Smoochy items are spread out on her desk top. A

restless-looking Sheldon and a few members of Nora'sstaff are in on the meeting.

NORA:

Again, these are just prototypes.

I've been assured by FunZone thatall the bugs will be worked outbefore Christmas.

Sheldon raises his hand. Nora ignores him and looks ather watch.

NORA:

Okay, so let's recap before webreak up...

(refers to notes)

Yes to the Smoochy ice pops. No to

the Smoochy string cheese. And

we're in a dick-measuring contestwith Brown & Brown over the

shampoo split.

Sheldon suddenly stands up.

SHELDON:

Okay, time out, people! If I mayinterject, I think we're puttingthe cart before the horse here...

Nora throws him an icy look.

(CONTINUED)

18.

CONTINUED:

SHELDON:

Smoochy's still earning the trustof the kids. We don't want to

compromise that by asking them tobuy shampoo and cheese. How 'bout we

just concentrate on doing the bestshow possible. Huh? Without all

the bells and whistles and

rickata-rackita. What do you say,

guys?

Nora casually picks up a Smoochy Frisbee from her deskand sails it toward the open door. It lands in the

hallway.

NORA:

(monotone)

Oh, damn.

SHELDON:

No problem, I'll get it.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote