Deck the Halls Page #3

That's not good!

How do you steer this thing?

Out of the way! Out of the way!

Mrs Ryor!

Oh, my!

Santa! He's real!

I knew it! I knew it!

Oh, boy!

He's coming to.

I think he's gonna be all right.

- Where am I?

- We're in the back seat of your wife's car,

on the way to the hospital.

You warming up?

Yeah.

Where are my clothes?

You were freezing to death.

We had to get you out of them.

- Where are your clothes?

- I had to get your body temperature up,

so I stripped us both down

and zipped us into this sleeping bag.

Trust me, it works.

I've done it a half a dozen times.

Calm down, calm down.

The doctor said he saved your life.

Which is only fair, since he's the one who

almost got me killed in the first place.

This used to be such a nice,

quiet neighbourhood. Look at it now.

People driving by all night.

Did you see that? Did you see that?

I think he's tapping into our power.

Yes. And in the process,

he is stealing our very souls.

- How do you think he's powering his lights?

- I think you're wrong about him.

Look at what he dropped off. He knew

we didn't get a chance to take a picture,

so look what he made

from a picture he took at the hospital.

- That's you, with the blue lips.

- Yeah.

Yeah, and a cute little oxygen tube

coming from your nose.

Yeah, I picked up on that. Thanks.

Come on, now.

That is a nice gesture, don't you think?

OK.

OK, yeah. Maybe. I don't know.

Maybe. I don't know.

I think we should take them

with us to get the tree.

- No!

- Yes.

Cos I really like Tia. She's taking

a real interest in my cookbooks,

and you just need to find a way

to get along with Buddy.

OK, but he's not touching any of my trees.

OK, fine. But they're coming with us.

- Hey, Mom.

- Hey, sweetie.

Hey, Dad.

I was thinking, maybe you could take me

Christmas shopping for Mom.

We could go to the mall and wander around.

- We could get hot chocolate.

- Know what? Already taken care of.

You're getting her a nice sweater

that I ordered from a catalogue.

So we don't have to go to the mall together.

Isn't that great?

It's an insane asylum this time of year.

A little more power.

- Did you see that?

- Yeah.

You did?

Come on, kids. Carter, come on.

Oh, you guys have your own lot.

- Private.

- It's great. Steve's worked on it for years.

So nice. Oh, this is amazing, honey. Look.

It's a nice tree, honey.

Nice? It's perfect. A 12-foot silver noble.

Yes, sir, this is the way

God intended trees to look.

What do you do?

Chop 'em down or launch 'em?

Laugh all you want. But I got

the next five years of trees lined up.

And each one of them is perfect.

No twisted trunks, no bald spots.

Well, it's certainly a dandy tree,

I'll give you that.

Honeys, let's go.

- Yeah, Dad, let's find a really big one.

- But it has to be pretty.

Hey.

The last ones to the car are losers.

Please. It's not like it's a race.

- Give me the axe. No way he beats us.

- Honey, you said he could cut it down.

Well, he can do it next year.

Come on, give me the axe.

- It's all right, sweetheart.

- What's the record?

Well, Dad, I think I wrote it down

in my diary, but I must have forgot.

Funny. But we'll be halfway home

by the time he...

Does anyone smell gas?

Well, it's probably me, but cut me

some slack, I'm swinging pretty hard.

Oh, my God!

- Sweetheart, do something.

- What? What happened?

- We're ruining the forest.

- What's happening?

- No, it's got the fence too.

- The trees.

The little one. The little one.

15 years. 15 years

I've been growing those trees.

He obviously didn't mean to do it, honey.

It was an accident.

He did offer to cut you down a tree, Dad.

Finches always have a silver noble tree. It's

a tradition, and thank God they had one left.

You get the tree, son.

All right, here we go.

Keep it up. That's a girl.

I'm pretty sure you broke the record

cutting this one down, Dad.

Better there?

Better there?

Better one? Better two?

- I can't believe you made it.

- Hi, guys.

- Hi, guys.

- Merry Christmas.

Hi, thanks for coming. Merry Christmas.

Honey, the girls are having so much fun

showing everybody the lights.

I pray that's all they're showing 'em.

You coming?

- I'll run a sequencer on the lights.

- Buddy!

- Are you deaf?

These people are depending on me

to give 'em something amazing.

And that's just what I'm gonna do.

Is it me? Oh, God.

A good idea to have

a fire extinguisher around.

You think?

Oh, no.

More lights? No.

Buddy. Buddy.

- Hey, what are you doing?

- Hi, Steve.

- More lights?

- Is that your shop across the street?

- This is wrong. All this has to go back.

- What do you think of the tree for Winterfest?

- Well...

- Steve, I was talking to Buddy here.

I mean, after all, he is the expert.

- Come on, would you have a look?

- Watch my stuff, Steve.

Hi, folks. Everything's free today.

Anything you want.

I love the coloured strands of lights.

The spacing is great.

- Thank you.

- Ornaments, well dispersed.

Oh, yes.

I see you're using my bulb of choice, the C9.

Very nice. That adds a lot of

class to that tree. I love it.

- Thank you.

- Really good.

- He likes it.

- Hey, Steve, that... that is a tree.

Yes, it is. Yeah. Listen, we need

to get something straight.

Around here, I'm the Christmas guy.

- Really?

- Yeah, it's kind of my thing.

Chris has Memorial Day. Pete has

the Fourth of July, but I have Christmas.

But, hey, you can have Halloween.

- Oh, good. Halloween?

- Yeah, sure.

Pumpkins in the yard, a skeleton or two.

You can jump out and scare people.

What do you think?

I don't think so. This Winterfest thing,

what is this all about?

It's our annual Christmas carnival.

We have a show, games, ice sculpture, races.

I happen to be the chairman.

It's a pretty prestigious position.

- Races? What kind of races?

- Speed skating.

We do it here.

They put the ice down here on Main Street.

I used to do a little speed skating myself.

Really? Well, so did I.

- Excuse me. Wallace Fiskin.

- Buddy Hall.

Sir, meeting you is one of

the great moments of my life.

Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you.

So, anyway... How do you feel

about the liberal use of mistletoe?

Well, I feel that you should go sparingly

around the threshold,

because that's a clich.

Please. Please.

- My mission is clear.

- Thank you.

Good luck.

Would you take this inside for me?

Steve. Oh, Steve.

I guess I'm the new Christmas guy.

That's OK. You can take Toe Jam Day.

This isn't over yet.

We're just getting started.

I'm the Christmas guy.

I'm the Christmas guy!

Honey, Tiajust gave me a great idea.

- I'm gonna write my own cookbook.

- That's my girl.

Tia gave you the idea? I've been

telling you to do that for years.

You know what? It should be cookbook

for real moms who cook for real families.

Yes. And I have the title for you.

Food Food with Kelly Finch.

I love it!

Dad, there's 50 singing dorks

waiting in the front yard.

50? Isn't that great?

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