Deck the Halls Page #6

He's on his feet and he's skating fast,

but he's got a lot of ice to catch up.

And into the first turn,

it's Buddy Hall, Gustave and Gerta.

Finch really appears to be struggling

as he heads for the straightaway.

Wait. Mayor Eugene Young

has yet to leave the starting line.

You're going the wrong way!

Gustave and Gerta make

their move on Buddy in turn three.

And they've taken the lead.

Buddy Hall seems to be running out of gas.

The crowd urges him on,

but it may not be his day.

Wrong-way Finch slips past Gustave

and Gerta and is really pouring it on.

Finch has got to make his move now or else.

He jumps the bales,

almost taking out Buddy in the process.

Miraculously, Steve Finch has taken

the lead going into the final turn!

Steve Finch has a huge lead.

- Nothing can stop him now!

- Yeah!

Finch is sent sprawling!

Oh, the carnage.

And it's Buddy Hall by a nose!

Buddy Hall wins the race!

Buddy Hall is our new champion!

Buddy! Buddy!

Buddy! Buddy! Buddy!

Thank you. Thank you.

I will be back with the payment

booklet for your new car, Flash.

Yeah, fine, fine, but the last time

I looked at the satellite pictures,

you still couldn't see your house.

Not a flicker, not a blip.

How's that feel, huh? Huh?

How's it feel to be invisible?

Huh?

What?

OK, let's go over it. The LED lights, the

grid, the wires, the shipping, the handling.

Everything, the whole ball of wax.

How much, out the door?

How much? What?

Are you serious?

What is that? In yen?

Is that with the discount?

Can you get it here overnight?

Buddy! Buddy Hall!

- Hi, honey.

- This is a bad dream. This isn't happening.

No, no, I'm just going to take

a couple of these branches off...

I'm not talking about the trees!

I'm talking about this.

- What's that?

- You know what this is.

This is the stand to my vase.

You pawned it, didn't you?

You pawned my grandmother's vase.

Well, how am I supposed to afford a camel

on a car salesman's salary?

And then I went for a loan,

and if you don't have ajob...

You lost yourjob?

That was a pretty awkward way

for you to find that out.

But don't worry about it.

I can sell anything to anybody.

Not me. Not any more.

Honey, things are gonna get better.

When? I'm tired of waiting, Buddy.

Waiting for you to find the rightjob,

the right town.

Waiting for you to find

that one true thing that makes you happy.

I think this is it.

You see, that's just the thing, Buddy.

I just thought you might wake up one day

and see that itjust might be me.

That itjust might be your family.

You know what? I'm done.

Oh, honey. Come on. Don't.

- Cords! Cords are everywhere!

- Please, baby... No.

Oh, no, honey.

Buddy Hall's Christmas wish

is to make his house bright enough

to be visible notjust from miles around,

but from space.

Oh, right...

When we heard about Mr Hall's quest,

if you will,

we downlinked images from his general area

as often as possible.

I can show you, if you'd like to take a look.

Right... Nothing yet.

Wow. Thank you for that.

This may be one Christmas wish

even Santa can't grant.

Hi, everybody. Thanks for coming.

I'm really happy that you came tonight.

I hope you enjoy these lights,

cos I did 'em all for you.

And for my family.

And for my wonderful neighbours

across the street.

Thank you.

Tia!

Tia!

Come back!

If you missed anything,

this show is gonna be repeated

every night on a loop until 4am.

I can't take it any more.

Well, me neither, but you've

gotta take some of the blame.

- You hear that?

- Yeah.

Hear that? It's getting louder.

He wants to play rough? I can play rough.

Steve, where are you going? Steve!

I hear if someone's in the market

for something with a little pop,

you're the guy.

Maybe. Could be the guy.

Depends on what you're looking for.

Don't let the reindeer pyjamas fool

you, pal. I'm not playing around.

- I'm looking to do some serious damage.

- Yeah? Cool.

You've come to the right place. I've got

enough firepower back here for two wars.

I got reapers, crackle dragons,

wagon wheels, throbbing copperheads.

- Great. I'll take 'em all.

- What's this for, man?

I'm gonna shoot them at my neighbour's

house and hopefully give him a heart attack.

Cool. In that case, you need this.

- The atomic warlord.

- Wow.

Yeah.

Good night, Steve.

Good night, Buddy.

Not a creature was

stirring, not even a mouse.

You want lights, Buddy?

You want lights? I'll show you lights.

Oh, yeah! Yeah, how do you like that?

Yeah, sleep through that, Buddy.

Huh? Huh?

Yeah!

How's that feel, huh? Hey, you think

they can see that from space, Buddy?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

How does it feel to have

your whole world exploding around you?

Oh, no!

Oh, gosh.

Steve? Where are you?

What's happening? Honey?

Oh, God. I really wish that hadn't happened.

Honey?

Kelly! Kelly!

You sure you've been watering that thing?

It went up awfully fast.

- Are you kidding me?

- Fire extinguisher.

Yeah, yeah. Faulty Christmas lights,

an underwatered tree.

What can I say? We're a cautionary tale.

So the fact you apparently purchased

an illegal-grade military firework

and set it off in your own home

had nothing to do with it, huh?

That could have been a contributing factor.

What about this?

Never seen that before in my life.

You're getting to be

a knot in my panties, mister.

A real knot.

All right, let's go.

Hey, kids. What are you?

Where are you going, huh?

- Hey, Madison. What's going on?

- Father.

Kelly. Kelly, what are you doing?

Trying to salvage

part of this Christmas for the kids.

Wait. You're leaving? You're lea...

Come on, it's not that

bad. It's not that bad.

Most of the smoke damage

was in the family room.

And on the bright side,

you always hated that wallpaper.

- Now that high-pressure hoses have ripped...

- We're gonna stay with Tia and the twins.

Come on, Kelly, don't do that.

Don't let thatjerk ruin our Christmas.

- The only jerk ruining Christmas is you.

- Me?

- Yeah.

- Me? I'm trying to save Christmas.

Really? What is your

favourite Christmas memory?

Well... Well, you know what it is.

I was seven years old.

My dad and I moved to Alabama,

and on Christmas morning we woke up

and sat on the kitchen floor,

ate fries and drank chocolate milk.

Yeah, exactly. It wasn't planned.

It wasn't organised.

Nobody entered it in a BlackBerry.

Itjust happened.

Our family is so busy,

we have to plan things out.

No. You, you are the busy one.

You said our kids needed Christmas

more than ever. No.

What they need more than ever is you.

Carter wanted to go

Christmas shopping with you.

He wanted to cut down that tree with you.

And Madison, well...

Madison's a teenage girl so she ignores

you, but if you'd been paying attention,

you'd have seen that she wants you

to know she's not a little girl.

That's a message I got pretty clear.

You just don't get it.

Christmas traditions are born in those

little chocolate-milk-and-French-fry moments,

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