Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Page #6

for three months.

That really stinks.

So, just out of curiosity,

who's gonna do the cartoon?

They're having tryouts, but

the important thing is Bryan gets better.

Absolutely.

GREG:
Bryan Little getting mono

was destiny.

I draw cartoons all the time.

I'm gonna win this.

I decided to go ahead and forgive Rowley

for milking the broken hand so hard

and I told him

he could work on the cartoon with me.

So, I was thinking

we could do something like this!

Oops, I stepped in a puddle!

At least it's not an acid puddle.

Oy, oy, oy! It is an acid puddle!

Zoo-wee Mama!

Zoo-wee Mama!

It's the same joke every time.

Yeah! Zoo-wee Mama!

We can't just do the same thing

over and over.

We can if it's Zoo-wee Mama.

It has to be a little more sophisticated.

GREG:
(IMITATES CREIGHTON)

I wonder what is in this cute little box.

GREG:
(IMITATES CREIGHTON'S FRIEND)

It's not a box, it's a brick, you dumb moron.

GREG:
(IMITATES CREIGHTON)

Oops! I've been trying to open it all day!

- Can he say, "Zoo-wee Mama"?

- No, it's not funny.

Well, I think it is. I like Zoo-wee Mama.

You know what? If you like it so much,

then why don't you go do it yourself?

Okay. I will.

See you.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Hey, I forgot my raincoat, so I'm gonna

need you to walk the kids home today.

I can't. I can't get my cast wet.

You can borrow my coat.

GIRL:
Where's Rowley?

- He couldn't get his cast wet!

- He walks us better!

Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh! Space monsters!

They're going to eat us,

unless we can get into that hole!

Come on, people, move it!

Now, people! We're gonna get eaten!

Come on! Don't worry!

I'm right behind you!

- Whoa!

- Go!

Hey!

Rowley Jefferson, is that you?

Yes, Mrs. Irvine!

Sorry, kids!

Are you going to eat us?

And though doctors assure us

that Mrs. Cheznik is no longer contagious,

the cafeteria nachos bar will be closed

for the remainder of the week.

And now, what you've all been waiting for.

The faculty, Student Council

and editors have all met

and selected the new cartoonist

for the school paper.

And the winner is

"Zoo-wee Mama" by Rowley Jefferson!

(ALL CHEERING)

- What?

- That is funny!

BOY:
Great job!

- Zoo-wee Mama!

- GREG:
I couldn't believe it!

Am I the only one who gets comedy?

- Rowley, will you put me in your cartoon?

- Sure.

And me, too. I want to be the one

who says, "Zoo-wee Mama."

- You got it!

- Hey, Rowley, congratulations.

- Thanks.

- No problem.

You know, I read all the submissions

and yours was by far the best.

I read yours, too.

- BRYCE:
Hey, Rowley.

- Hey, Bryce.

- Yeah, hey, Bryce.

- Hey, fella.

Wow. Everyone knows me now.

- It's like I'm famous! Isn't this great?

- Yeah.

Rowley Jefferson?

I need to see you in my office, now.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

MR. WINSKY:
I just took a call

from a Mrs. Irvine

about what happened

to the kindergarteners last week.

She was very upset. And so am I.

- What?

- You violated the sacred trust.

This...

This badge is supposed to mean

something, and you just spat on it.

I can barely even look at you.

- I really don't...

- Just save it.

You are officially suspended

from Safety Patrol.

And I expect a full apology

to the kindergarteners.

Yes, sir.

- Hey, what did he have to say?

- I'm kicked off.

I don't even know what he's talking about.

Rowley?

- What?

- Nothing.

You've been home for an hour

and haven't badgered me for any snacks.

Are you feeling okay?

Well, I'm kind of in a tough situation.

I know something

and if I tell the truth about it,

it could hurt somebody.

But if I don't, it could hurt somebody else.

Well, you have to trust your gut

and try to do the right thing,

because it's our choices

that make us who we are.

Okay.

GREG:
I was up all night,

tossing and turning,

thinking about my mom's advice.

And I finally decided to do the right thing.

I'm sorry I terrorized you, children.

What?

I decided to let Rowley take one for the team.

But I'm not entirely sure that was the right call.

Hey, how's it going?

Well, I was pretty upset

about being suspended from Safety Patrol,

but then I just started drawing a bunch

of Zoo-wee Mamas and I felt better.

Look, I put you in this week's cartoon!

And you even get to say "Zoo-wee Mama!"

Wow! That's really... nice.

So listen.

It's kind of funny, you know,

the whole Safety Patrol thing.

Yeah?

Ready for the funny part?

Well, I'm the one who terrorized those kids!

What?

Yeah, and I think we can both learn

some valuable lessons from this.

Like, I should be more careful what I do

in front of Mrs. Irvine's house.

And you, well, you should be more careful

who you lend your coat to.

You know what, Greg?

You're not a good friend.

Whoa! How could you even say that?

I'm a great friend!

If you were a great friend,

you would have told Mr. Winsky the truth!

Okay, one thing.

- You can't get mad about just--

- You only care about yourself.

You hated my cartoon.

You made fun of my clothes,

you disrespected Joshie.

You broke my hand,

and you didn't even seem sorry!

That broken hand was the best thing

that ever happened to you!

Don't call me.

Don't come by my house.

We're done!

I thought the whole thing would blow over.

But Rowley was still giving me

the silent treatment.

- Even when I tried to make the first move.

- Yeah.

ROWLEY:
So, anyway, I was so angry

at him, I didn't know what to say.

MR. WINSKY:
One of the kindergarteners

finally told their parents the whole story.

Greg? You're relieved of your Safety Patrol

duties, effective immediately.

Rowley,

for showing dignity under false suspicion,

I am promoting you

to team captain.

Now, that's a position that I held

for two years. I know you'll honor it.

(YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND

PLAYING)

Okay

You're supposed to be my friend

We're supposed to get along

Hey, you're supposed to be my friend

Hey, Rowley, my mom says it's okay

for me to sleep over tonight.

Awesome!

GREG:
The whole thing with Rowley is,

I was willing to let bygones be bygones.

But then he made friends with Collin

just to mess with me.

As if I even care if he...

Well, you know what?

Two can play at that game.

There's no going back, Sergeant.

I need to board the helicopter.

Do you have my back?

I will always have your back, Captain.

Yeah, maybe I'll meet up with some friends

Yeah, maybe I'll meet up with some dogs

'Cause you're supposed to be

You're supposed to be

Supposed to be my friend

You're supposed to be my friend now

- Hey.

- Hey, Greg Heffley.

So, I was thinking maybe you might

Rate this script:4.3 / 16 votes