Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Page #7

want to have a sleepover?

Yeah. With who?

Me.

- Yeah, when?

- Now.

Greg Heffley, I love you!

We are going to be best friends forever!

Wanna have a tickle fight?

Okay. Let's get inside.

FREGLEY:
I can't believe it!

Greg Heffley's in my room!

Greg Heffley's in my room, Rebecca.

What do you want to do, Greg Heffley?

How about Twister?

GREG:
I'm not really

that much of a Twister guy.

- Candy!

- Wait!

No, no, no! Fregley, come on! Really!

I really think

we should save those for later!

- Maybe we should go outside and...

- My mom doesn't let me have sugar.

She says high glucose in my diet

induces hyperactivity.

But it's so good!

Greg Heffley, you want to jumpety-jump?

Yeah, you know what, Fregley?

I just remembered,

I have an appointment,

a really important appointment.

It's a homework appointment.

Yeah, and I really should be going.

Get away from me!

(EXCLAIMING)

I can fly! Whoa!

How fun, Greg Heffley!

Greg? Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg?

Greg? Greg?

(BANGING ON DOOR)

I hear you breathing, Greg Heffley.

FREGLEY:
Dear Gregory,

I'm very sorry I chased you

with a booger on my finger.

Here, I put it on this paper

so you can get me back.

What?

All right.

GREG:
Okay, enough.

I'll show Rowley I don't need him.

When he sees me in the yearbook

as Most Talented,

he's gonna come running back.

Okay, since there are so many of you

here auditioning,

to save time, we're gonna do a group sing

of one of my favorite songs.

Please refer to the lyrics on this handout.

I will pick out the best voices

and place you accordingly.

(ALL SINGING OUT OF TUNE)

(GREG SINGING MELODIOUSLY)

(SCOFFS)

Greg Heffley, what a lovely

soprano voice you have! I'm stunned!

Maybe you should be Dorothy!

- No, no, I can't be--

- No!

Greg Heffley was suspended

from the school Safety Patrol!

How can you trust him with the lead role

in the play?

He can't be Dorothy! I'm Dorothy!

- All right, Patty, calm down.

- I'm Dorothy! I am!

My mother is the president of the P.T.A.

She can ruin your life!

Just an idea.

(SCOFFS)

All right, well, Greg, your voice is too high

for any of the other male roles.

Perhaps you can be a tree!

A tree? No way.

(SCOFFS)

(WHISPERS) The trees get to throw apples

at Patty Farrell.

Haven't you seen the movie?

(PATTY BLOWING KISSES)

Wait, we don't get arm holes?

How are we gonna throw apples

at Dorothy without arm holes?

You don't need arm holes

because nobody's throwing any apples.

We're not doing the movie.

In my version, the trees sing.

These, my dear.

(ALL SINGING)

Down the winding yellow road

Doth she know to where it goes

With her dog so small and true

We hope she fares well

Yes, we do

(SCREAMING)

ARCHIE:
My tooth!

I think I knocked out my tooth!

Perhaps we should cut out

some arm holes.

- GIRL:
Is he okay?

- You think?

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Isn't this exciting? Your son's in a play.

Yeah, sure. It's not wrestling, but...

- But at least it's something.

- PATTY:
Come on, Toto.

Let us explore this magical path!

(BARKING)

Bubby!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Bubby! Bubby!

Bubby!

Hey, Bubby! I think you dropped an apple!

- Huh?

- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(SINGING) We three trees from yonder glen

Do spy a fair and sweet maiden

Whilst we're rooted to our spots

In silver slippers she doth trot

Down the winding yellow road

Oh, yes.

Doth she know to where it goes

(MOUTHING) You're dead!

With her dog so small and true

We hope she fares well

Yes, we do

We three trees from...

(WHISPERING) From yonder glen!

Wish her joy through journey's end!

(WHISPERING) Sing!

Sing.

- Sing!

- BOY:
This bites!

Come on, Greg Heffley!

Stop ruining the play

like you ruin everything else!

Don't make me come over there

and beat you up again!

(EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)

(YELLING)

(GRUNTS)

Eat this!

Eat this!

Wow!

(LAUGHS)

(GROANS)

FRANK:
What'd you think?

I thought he was the best one up there.

- Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

- You know, I'm...

(SIGHS)

I thought Dorothy deserved it.

Thanks, Dad.

FRANK:
You got some good shots in there.

(DOOR OPENING)

Look what I found in the trash.

Guess you threw it away by accident.

Give it back, Rodrick!

No way! You want it?

Come and get it then! Come on!

- Give it!

- Come on!

Use your muscular legs!

No, you can't have it!

- Okay, okay, boys!

- Give it back!

- Hold on, don't you want it?

- Okay!

It's for you!

(GASPS)

It's an invitation for

the Mother and Son Sweetheart Dance.

(SIGHS)

I knew you didn't want to miss that.

It looks like a lot of fun.

I think you should go.

I think it'd be a lot of fun.

GREG:
Fun?

That's the exact opposite of fun!

This entire year has been terrible

and nobody even cares!

My family, my best friend.

Well, I'm sick of it.

Somebody needs to pay.

Okay, Manny, I'm putting

this Tootsie Roll in Rodrick's backpack.

It's for Rodrick, so whatever you do,

don't touch the Tootsie Roll.

Mmm-hmm.

Greg? Coaster. Where's he...

Manny? Where did you get that?

Oh, my. That's offensive.

(PLAYING HEAVY METAL MUSIC)

Rodrick? Rodrick!

I need to talk to you inside! Now!

Go ahead and talk.

We're a band and we have no secrets.

Okay, fine. What is this?

- It's not mine.

- It was in your backpack.

No, it was in my room.

(EXCLAIMS)

Does owning this magazine

make you a better person?

- No.

- Did it make you more popular at school?

(LAUGHING) Yes!

No.

How do you feel about having

owned this type of magazine?

- Ashamed!

- BAND MATE:
Nice.

Hmm.

Do you have anything

you wanna say to women

for having owned this offensive magazine?

I'm sorry, women.

- Yeah, women.

- Yeah.

You're grounded for two weeks.

Okay, settle down, Susan!

I think one week is plenty!

Make it four weeks

and I'm gonna need the keys to your van!

My van?

Yeah! Yeah.

Yeah.

ROWLEY:
Hello?

Hello?

(LE FREAKPLAYING)

PHOTOGRAPHER:
All right, smile.

Look at this place! Wanna dance?

Mom, stop dancing.

You're embarrassing me.

Come on.

I'm just keeping time to the music.

I'm begging you, please stop it.

Okay, okay, okay.

Thanks, honey.

Hi!

Well, if we're not here to dance,

maybe you should go talk to Rowley.

I think it's time you two made up.

I can't.

Sweetheart, he's your best friend.

And sometimes,

when somebody's worth it,

you just have to put yourself out there.

I wouldn't know what to say.

Well, I could go for an ice cream

after the dance.

Maybe you could invite him to join us.

Yeah.

Hey, Rowley.

Hey.

So you want to go

get some ice cream after?

I'm sorry. We already have plans.

Yeah. We do.

Oh, fine.

My mom wanted me to ask. So I did.

I didn't even want to go.

Well?

Honey, I'm sorry.

(INTERGALACTIC PLAYING)

Rate this script:4.3 / 16 votes