Dirty Tricks Page #5

With whom?

With Thomas Carter'?

- Mm.

-[ Laughs]

She's a very ruthless

and calculating woman.

A few days after, um,

Dennis died,

she asked me over there

to help move some of his stuff.

How could I refuse'?

I felt responsible

for the damned accident.

When I got over there,

she answered the door to me

stark naked.

Well, the funny thing is,

that sort of Woman

is not at all my type.

I don't know.

I felt sorry for her.

I felt guilty.

I can quite see

how you could allow yourself

to be seduced by her.

But why marry the woman?

She told me she was pregnant

from that one encounter.

Oh, my God.

But the thing is,

it was a complete lie.

I only discovered after

she'd dragged me off

to the registry office

that she'd had a hysterectomy.

I was trapped.

Can't tell you what it feels

like to have someone to talk to.

To confide in.

I've been so alone.

- Guess what.

- What?

I'm pregnant!

Aah!

[ Laughs ]

That's terrific.

Who's the lucky father?

Sorry'?

Joke, darling.

[ Both laugh ]

In fact, the discovery

that Karen was pregnant

removed all interest I might

have otherwise had in her death.

All I needed

was the name of the father,

and I was looking at a very

decent divorce settlement.

Dennis's partner --

the American, Thomas Carter --

was the man I suspected.

To what do we owe this honor'?

I wanted to ask you about

that American, Thomas Carter.

Well, I'm a little busy.

Having to get rid of

Senor Garcia here.

What did he do,

ask for his money back?

Well, apparently, back in South

America he was a bit of a swine.

He used to be

a secret policeman.

- What did he do?

- Tortured innocent people.

I'm surprised you didn't offer

him a job on your staff, Clive.

Well, the local paper

got hold of it.

Bad for business.

Can't help you, I'm afraid.

Don't gossip about my friends.

It is absolutely true that the

next day I contacted Garcia.

And I do not dispute

that he is one of

the most disgusting individuals

with whom I have ever

had to do business.

But I did not -- repeat, not --

hire him to kill Karen.

Hypocrites.

All you British are hypocrites.

I'm sure.

You talk about freedom this

and freedom that.

But you have no idea what it is

to live in a country

where there are people

who want to take it from you.

- These people being?

Communist people.

Are there many of them

in your country?

Not now.

Or if they is,

they Walk a little funny.

Yes.

After you...

Torture them.

What your army do

in North Ireland?

Stand up Provo with bag on head.

What your army do

in bloody Serbia?

Bomb Christians.

Psht! Hypocrites.

Yes, let's not discuss politics.

I want to see you

on a personal matter.

Woman?

You is a dirty bastard.

"Are" a dirty bastard.

Look, you're broke.

They've stopped your grant.

Politics.

For my politics.

I imagine you just want to

get back to sunny Malagrena,

Where the men are men

and the Communists are...

Emasculated.

You have a surprisingly large

vocabulary, Garcia.

I think I can take

some credit for that.

All I want you to do

is help me find someone

who has insulted my honor.

And kill him'?

No.

This man is making love

to my wife,

and I want to find out

who he is.

How much'?

- Four.

For 375, I find him real quick.

How'?

Tap phones.

In Malagrena

we do it all the time.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

-Is that all right'?

- Okay.

- So...

-[ Tape rewinding ]

You think it's a friend

who cheats on you

with your wife, eh'?

Mm. I have a good idea.

He's an American.

American? Pfft!

"Don't be nasty to people,

or we drop bombs on you.

If you're from South America,

maybe we drop bombs

on you anyway.

For practice."

Pfft!

I'm sure.

Garcia, can you

get a move on, please?

My wife's gonna be back

any second.

Maybe we frighten her a little.

Maybe.

What do you use

to frighten people, Garcia?

Electricity is good.

Dentistry.

There are plenty ways.

Plenty of ways.

She's here.

Uh-Oh.

She's coming back.

Pretend you're an electrician.

A fuse blew.

Okay?

And don't say any more

than is absolutely necessary.

[Clears throat]

[Sighs]

Hello, darling.

Oh. Hi.

I thought you were looking over

that school.

I was.

It's great.

I got the loan.

It's all going ahead.

[Laughing ] Well,

that's marvelous.

It is.

And We're gonna start a family.

We are.

I'm so excited.

-[ Door opening]

-[ Gasps ]

Ah.

There was a fuse blew.

This gentleman's been marvelous.

Electricity is no problem

for me, lady.

Good.

My only problem -- women.

Everything okay here'?

Yes, it's -- it's fine.

Here we go, then.

Half now and the other half

when we know

it's all worked out okay.

- Sure thing.

- Thank you.

You have

a very beautiful wife, senor.

Thank you again.

Nice teeth.

Ugh!

What a creepy guy.

He seems to know his business.

You jumped like a rabbit

when you saw him.

What did you think he was'?

A hit man'?

[ Both laugh ]

Karen never did like

anything exotic.

What she did like,

as I was to discover,

was about as depressing

as the view from this window.

Karen'?

I'm home.

Are you there, sweetheart?

Darling?

Darling?

[Tape rewinding ]

KAREN:
Hi, I wanted to book

a double room

for next Saturday night.

I've stayed at the hotel before.

It's Karen Parsons.

MAN:
Ah, yes, I remember you,

Mrs. Parsons, yes.

You had a friend with you

in the room along the corridor.

Chap on a bicycle.

KAREN:

He won't be coming.

It'll just be myself

and my husband.

-[ Click, tape fast-forwarding ]

- I wonder who that'll be.

CLIVE:

Clive Phillips Language School.

KAREN:

I've booked it for Saturday.

I'll tell him

I'm going to my mother's.

CLIVE:
Yeah, I think there's

a train to Banbury around 9:00.

I'll meet you up there

with the Merc.

I really want you.

You know that don't you?

I really need you.

[ Door opens ]

KAREN:
Hello, darling.

I'm home.

Where are you?

Just coming, sweetheart.

So, what are our plans

for Saturday?

Oh, I have to go to my mum's.

Her arthritis

is playing her up again.

Darling, that's so sweet of you.

Well...

I'll give you a lift

to the station.

Oh, no.

You don't have to.

I insist.

This is one of

Dennis's rather good stock

of Amarone di Valpolicella.

Can I tempt you?

Yeah, lovely.

Thank you.

I may have to pop out later,

see a student.

Chap from South America.

Might be able to help

with the new language school.

I need your help, Garcia.

That's the fact of the matter.

You got the bastard?

Mm. The same bastard who let

you go from the language school.

- Mr. Phillips?

- Uh-huh.

I don't like that guy.

There's a strong possibility

he's a Communist as Well.

I wouldn't put it past him.

You want me to kill him'?

I'll kill him for you.

I just want you

to scare the bastard.

Electricity'?

- Whatever.

To here'?

Well, they have been working

rather hard lately.

A bit of convulsive therapy

might do them some good.

Convulsive therapy -- 400.

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