Dr. Cabbie Page #3

- You're so sexy!

OK! You're OK!

- My Lord! Dottore!

- She's OK!

- Grazie!

- I told you, huh'? Hey!

Hey, hey!

- Come on, Deepak!

Confidence!

You a**hole!

- I'm sorry!

Watch it!

This isn't India, buddy!

Get a license!

Hey! Watch out!

Cabbie? Cabbie!

Good day, madam!

368 Glen Manor Drive East.

And don't take the Lake Shore,

take Eastern.

' Yes!

Could you go any slower?

I'm sorry!

I waited 3 hours for a physical

which took 5 minutes.

Yeah...

- No, no, no, no!

Take a left! Take a left!

Yes! Of course!

Stupid cabbie!

- Madam, um, do you check

your blood pressure regularly?

What's the point of checking?

I'd go broke if I had to buy every pill

my drug plan doesn't cover.

- Madam, did your physical today

include a mammogram?

A mammogram?

- You know, today, for women over 40,

it's so important that...

They said they'd get me an appointment.

It could take 6 months.

Six months? That's...

Oh! No, no!

It's a free ride today, madam.

You're my first customer here.

Well, thank you, cabbie!

You're a lot more caring than my doctors!

You should've been a doctor.

Oh! What the...

Come back here!

This is not the place!

- Why are you looking so stressed?

- I'm fine.

You want a hug?

Tony, it's been 4 hours, one client...

How does this work?

- OK, relax, boss.

Tony will tell you, huh?

There's an an to picking up chiquitas,

and there's an an

to picking up clients.

Come, come! Go ahead!

Take a U-turn. Cheers!

Wow! Tall and blonde!

Oh, sexy combo!

Hurry, hurry!

Quick! Follow!

Wow!

Hey, Miss Long Legs!

You're too beautiful

to take the bus, huh?

Why don't you hop in the cab?

Say something!

- Hey, baby! Do you work for NASA?

'Cause you're out of this world!

Oh sh*t! It's her!

You got a lot of pickup lines, huh?

- Whoa, whoa! Sh*t!

Please, miss! Please listen!

Please listen!

Excuse me, miss!

When did you get pregnant?

Immaculate Conception.

- What am I saying?

- Jerk!

- Miss, I'm really sorry!

That came out totally wrong.

It's getting late,

and it's going to rain.

Let me give you a ride, please.

It's...

Please? It's really the least I can do.

So, have you been pregnant often'?

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing! I'm just making the small talk.

Yeah, he is actually quite small.

- Oh my God!

My water just broke!

- Sh*t, dude! You pissed her off so much,

she actually peed her pants, huh?

On the seat and the floor

and the shoes and everything!

- You're gonna be OK!

We need to get her to a hospital.

Look at this traffic!

- Do something!

- Oh my God!

- I'm gonna get us out, OK?

I'm gonna get us out of this!

I can't believe it's happening now!

Just please calm down, miss!

- This is a cabbie emergency!

The baby is about to pop out!

Please! Come on!

- How are you feeling today, miss?

- I've been having contractions

and the doctor just said it was...

- False alarms!

They're called Braxton Hicks contractions.

Yeah! Exactly what he said.

The baby is coming! Aaah!

Now I think I feel it coming!

Come on!

Don't stop here, you idiot!

Pull the car, Deepak! Come on!

Indian style! Come on!

Driving like a slow idiot!

OK!

Breathe! Just breathe!

I'm gonna call 911, OK?

They'll never make it.

Tony, you'll have to get out,

come around and take my place.

- Take your place? Are you crazy?

I'm not going in the rain!

OK!

OK!

OK...

I need you to come here,

lie down headfirst.

" No!

- Please, miss, trust me,

I'm a doctor.

No! You're a cabbie!

- Miss, you're gonna have your baby here

right here, right now.

Please, you have to trust me, OK?

Let me in! Serious shrinkage, dude!

OK, just breathe.

I'll be right back.

- Wait, what?

- Hello!

- Good! Good!

It wasn't supposed to happen like this!

I was supposed to remember this forever!

OK! I'm on it!

Don't even think about it!

Yes, ma'am!

- Tony, I need the vodka

to clean my hands and arms!

- With what'?

- With the vodka!

OK, then say that! Go!

OK!

- OK, uh, now, miss, miss, miss?

I need to take off your pants now, OK?

- OK!

Do you even know what you're doing?

Why don't we just wait for an ambulance?

- Miss, you have to listen to me, OK?

Trust me, I'm a doctor.

I need you to open your legs now a little.

- It's OK!

- Good!

Good!

Breathe shallow and rapid!

- Shallow and rapid breaths!

OK'? OK!

Shallow! Breathe!

Only push when you feel a contraction, OK?

Yeah, only push when you have...

- On second thought, tape this!

If he does anything wrong,

I'm gonna sue his ass!

- Yes! Yes, ma'am!

- OK?

Are you ready? Ready?

Come on! Now breathe!

Shallow, rapid breaths!

- Shallow and rapid!

Shallow and rapid!

You can do this!

Ready? Push!

Push!

Hey, hey! You can do this!

I can't do it...

- Yes, you can! You can do this!

- No!

- Tony, hand her the Ganesh!

Yes, sir!

- OK! Hold ii tight!

It'll help! OK'? Ready?

Ready? Ready?

Push! Push! Push!

Push! OK! OK, I can see it!

I can see the head! Push! Push!

One, two, three!

Push! Push!

Push! Push!

' Why... Why isn't he crying?

Why isn't my baby crying?

- Somethings wrong with the baby.

Put it back in!

Why isn't my baby crying?

He's gonna be OK!

Deepak, do something!

It's OK! Shhh!

He's... he's crying! He's crying!

He's crying! Yes!

Congratulations!

It's a boy!

Then I saw the baby.

Good to go!

A little bit of vomit came, actually.

From me, not from the baby!

Although, the baby also vomited,

but that I've heard.

Deepak told me natural juices come

from all parts of the baby and the mother.

It's quite gross and beautiful,

actually, at the same time.

You know, cabbies are always prepared,

I had this vodka...

Close it up!

- Actually, you know, I saved the day!

I don't mean to be...

What can $37.50 get you nowadays?

The cos! of delivering a baby

if you don't mind having the baby

in the backseat of a cab.

I'm on it! Come on!

Now breathe!

Shallow, rapid breaths!

Shallow and rapid!

Hey! You can do this!

You can do this, OK?

You have to be strong!

One more push!

A young cab driver, Deepak V. Chopra,

delivered a baby today in his cab.

Something's wrong with the baby!

Why isn't my baby crying?

Deepak, do something!

I heard you had quite the delivery!

- Oh, you have no idea.

- Mmm!

Good morning!

- Hi!

- Good morning!

I hope I'm not interrupting.

- No! Come on in.

- Thank you!

I... I thought I'd come and check up

on my first patients.

Hey, Dr. Cabbie!

You can call me Deepak.

My name's Natalie, by the way.

It's nice to meet you, Natalie!

So, how is he doing?

- He's so good!

- Yeah?

He's so cute!

- Have you found a name yet?

- I got nothing!

I've been working on it all day.

I can't think of anything.

Any Suggestions?

Uh...

How about Ganesh?

Wait, you mean, like, that thing?

- That thing is the Hindu elephant god,

Ganesh.

- Cool!

- They say he's the god

of all things auspicious,

the remover of all obstacles.

- So he's even more of a celebrity

than you and I.

I imagine that you've seen this?

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