Dr. Cabbie Page #4

"Hot Babe Gives... "

"Birth in a Cab. "

- Awesome!

- I'm really sorry about all of this.

My friend Tony, he says

he accidentally hit "upload" and...

Well, he's a jerk.

I know.

Do you, um, do you wanna hold him?

I would love to.

OK...

- Isn't he sweet?

All right!

- Come on! Come on!

- Look it! Yeah!

- Yeah!

- on!

Your father must be so proud!

Colin?

Your little accident

is all over the damn press!

This could cost you your bid!

Oh, I look good in print!

Hi, Dad!

A bit of news and controversy

is never a bad thing.

- Bonnie!

- Have a seat!

It's a speed bump!

Relax! I'm in it to win it.

- Then stop being a poster boy for page 3,

and start making some real news!

Headlines? Easy-peasy!

I'll throw on a suit

and start kissing babies.

You wanna be the next mayor?

Then start by practising

with your own baby!

'Cause granddad wants a happy ending.

. Happy ending?

You must be psychic.

- I can't wait 4 months

for my appointment.

I need to see Dr. Cabbie.

- Our company is called Co-op Cabs,

not Co-op Clinic.

- Can I speak with Dr. Cabbie?

- There's no doctor here!

- I can't find a family doctor!

- This isn't a doctor's office, you know.

My hemorrhoids are killing me!

I'm getting a migraine!

I'm no! going to the emergency!

- Wait a minute...

Pete, someone's calling about a doctor'?!

No, don't talk to me, Deepu!

So the whole world knows

about my son's heroism, except me.

" Ma!

- You know how many messages

I've sent you?

Ma, your son is a famous cabbie now.

Famous cabbie? Hmph!

So I should be proud of you?

- Yeah!

- Gandhi says that,

"The only way to find yourself

"is to lose yourself

in the service of others,"

so we are very proud of you!

Thank you, Auntie!

Pick up that box!

- What is it?

- Just pick it up!

Papa's stethoscope...

Oh, Ma!

Thank you!

Gandhi would've been proud too!

- Thank you for picking us up!

You didn't have to do that.

- Well, I just couldn't trust you

with any other cabbie.

- It's crazy that something so small

is gonna take over my entire life.

- As a new mother,

you have so much to look forward to.

- Yeah, I know. 3:00 a. m. feeds,

dirty diapers, breast pumps...

Shhh, shhh, shhh!

He's here!

- Hey, guys!

- Hey!

- Hey!

- Hey, buddy!

- What's going on?

Can't help you, boss.

- I mean, honestly, it isn't fair.

If you get fired for that,

then Tony should've been fired,

like, 100 times.

I'm fired?

- Dude, you had a chick

with her legs open in your cab!

- Yeah, he messed up!

- That's only allowed in Amsterdam.

Your suspension papers.

What?

Pete!

- Open it.

Who's she'? I'm not hiring

any more of your friends.

Oh, no. She only rides me.

With me! With me!

- Congratulations, man!

- Yeah!

Cabbie! Dr. Cabbie!

- I'm putting you

in the square one!

Square one?

# Yeah yeah Dr. Cabbie #

Good morning! Co-op Taxi!

- You know why there's such a shortage

of doctors in this country?

'Cause you guys

are too busy driving cabs!

- When was the last time

you had your prostate checked?

What?

(Woman on phoney Co-op Taxi?

Everything is normal.

Cholesterol is a little high,

so we have to get you moving.

Come on, Mimi!

Hey! No! No ice cream, Mimi!

No ice cream!

I've had this pain all morning.

- Sir, I'm going to need you

to place two of these under your tongue.

Hey, I have a big meeting in 15 minutes.

- Sir, you're going to have

a heart attack in 15 minutes.

OK!

- Thank you!

- Hi, doc! I got this problem.

I got this really stupid friend

who had this real drunken night

and he hooked up with this...

I guess it was a girl, but kinda like a guy.

She had man hands.

All of a sudden,

now, he thinks he has an STD.

He should've known because

the minute she opened her legs,

it made your eyes water,

I mean, his eyes water.

- Calm down, sir.

Just drop your pants.

Come on! Let's take a look.

Be gentle, all right?

I haven't "manscaped"

since it happened, so get ready!

Get those weed whackers out!

You gotta get rid of the pain.

If you wanna leave the swelling,

I'm OK with that.

I don't need it, but you know what I mean?

Every little bit helps, am I right?

This guy knows what I'm talking about!

- Pain?

- No.

' Yes!

You call this music, yo?

This is Indian music, sir.

- That ain't no music.

Check it! Watch this!

OK!

Are you OK, sir?

- What's going on?

- His appendix is inflamed.

He'll be fine.

We have to rush him to emergency.

- How do you tell the difference

between an oral thermometer

and a rectal thermometer?

The taste!

This is turning into

a real pain in the ass.

All stocked up, boss?

- Your pimp just booked

a bunch of new appointments.

And somebody called

for a refill on a prescription.

So what's next? Surgery?

- I know I'm in deep, Pete.

- Yes, you are.

- But at least I'm making a difference!

- Yeah! We all are.

Hold my son I was dying, last night.

- No, Pete! No!

I know! I'm living now.

- I believe the expression is,

"I'm living for the moment. "

Oh, yeah! Well...

OK...

- Come on. Let's go.

What happened?

- You got that puppy-dog look today.

No!

- Natalie, right?

Is it that obvious?

The expression is,

"There's no cure for love. "

You gotta grab it by the balls

and take I! for a ride!

Hey, cabbie!

You stalking that blonde?

- I'm busy!

Go away, kid!

Pervert!

- What's your problem, huh?

- You're such a loser!

She's too hot for you anyway!

- Come back here!

Forget about it!

Hello?

Hey!

Natalie!

Hi! How are you?

- Oh, I'm fine.

You know,just tired.

How are you doing?

- Oh, I'm so busy! I'm helping out

at my uncle's restaurant.

' Hmm!

Yeah, you should come by

and see the baby sometime.

Uh, I would love to!

How's tomorrow?

OK!

OK! See you soon!

Yes!

Idiot! Get out of the street!

# AH I need is you #

# AH I need is you #

# AH I need is you #

it And I'm so glad

I've found you $1

it And I'm so glad

I've found you $1

it I never thought I'd ever find

a love like this $1

it I never thought I'd find

someone like you $1

it I thought I'd go through life

being so lonely $1

it I never thought

Pd need it like I do $1

# Ooh I wanna be your girl oh #

# I've been searching around the world #

# And all I need is you #

# AH I need is you ooh #

Rani, what is he doing?

- He thinks it's a girl!

He's so cute!

'Hi!

Hi!

- My Deepu's in love.

- With a mop.

- Love is meant to be enjoyed,

not understood.

You're so wise.

Yeah!

Good, good, good, good!

Good boy!

This was my father's.

My heartbeat was the first one

he heard from it.

See? Hey!

He's beautiful!

- Thank you!

You have your mother's eyes!

Yeah, you do!

High five!

Give me a high five!

- You must be hungry.

I cooked dinner.

I'm starving! Let's eat.

(Anything For Your Love

by Mayou

# Ooh oh yeah #

You like steak, right?

Love it!

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

# I would do anything for your love... #

It was between this and lobster.

- Mmm! Holy cow!

That is... is good!

Thank you!

I'm sorry!

- Oh, it's OK! Shhh!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes